15/06/2025
Ever catch yourself in a moment where you know you’ve just evolved past something?
Whatever your limitation was, suddenly a light bulb comes on in your brain and you’ve managed to overcome, let go and make sense of it all - and you’ve caught yourself doing it! (Btw, it’s surreal someone sneaked a photo of me in that moment!)
Before conducting this class, I went through a rough few months with my old destructive habits, my family relationships, my diminished social life and a rutt I was in with work. It all seemed to pile up and I couldn’t see a way out - I wanted to but I knew I was stuck right in the middle of the tunnel. Some things have to be ridden out, and you do your best to cope in the dark till you see a glimpse of light.
I didn’t know how or when I’d get out of this, almost to the point that I started picturing what my life would be like if this darkness was my new reality. Could a life even be lived this way?
Then came a glimmer… it didn’t look like a glimmer - more like a hopeless last resort. It was an opportunity laden with discomfort, anguish, hard work, annoying obstacles, even more annoying people... but I took it because I had nothing to lose.
A few buckets of blood, sweat and tears later, it started to occur to me - was I being tested? I wasn’t really chasing anything, I didn’t know what the end result should look like anymore… but if this was a test, the criteria had to be my hard work, integrity and most importantly, to stop thinking about myself and just get things done. So I did. Through the anxiety, the meh, the rage, I kept putting myself in to work/situations/conversations that I knew were objectively useful but felt disconnected from.
And this photo - leading this Pranayama class on my very first day at a Yoga teachers training in Goa as a teachers assistant, wrecked with nerves, unsure of everything I was doing, being so hard on myself… suddenly found sync with my breath, and I saw the end of the tunnel.
