MIND Clinic

30/12/2020

Good mental health and well-being are key to living a full, healthy, and happy life. It enables us to make choices, solve problems, deal with challenges, and feel connected with the people and places around us. But life isn’t always simple and straightforward, our mind, just like our body, is vulnerable to becoming unwell.

IT's OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP. TALK OPENLY ABOUT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

30/12/2020

04/10/2015

#04
I am Not Your Therapist ~Karen Miller
elephant journalVia elephant journalon Jul 19, 2011
“Buddha was not the first psychologist. He was the last psychologist.”
I nearly stopped myself from posting this for fear that it would offend some readers who are therapists or who have therapists, but as those individuals already know without a doubt that I am not their therapist, I concluded it would cause no confusion.
There is a therapist somewhere in the Midwest who has a name and an email address similar to my own. I know this because of the volume of emails I receive which are intended to be seen only by this same therapist. The messages usually arrive early in the morning or late at night, long and anxious missives about upsets, ultimatums, and breaking points between parents and their children, or couples on the verge. Often they say, “I know we have a session later today but I wanted to tell you this in advance,” or “I wanted to get this off my chest,” or “I’ll call you later and see if you have any advice for me” or “I am worried about what will happen before our next appointment.” Sometimes they are simply business or professional messages, notices of meetings and deadlines, for instance. Some are invitations to parties, and others are haughty reminders to respond to previously misaddressed messages.
Emails from therapeutic clients are intensely personal, and I am reluctant to even open them. But as they arise from a psychological crisis, I think the most compassionate response for me is to reply with this instruction:
“Please correct the address on this email as it has not reached your intended recipient.”
I have sent that message dozens of times over many years. Never once has anyone responded to me, not even the therapist who must now realize from patients and colleagues that private emails are frequently misdirected.
I’ll leave aside the question of how email has corroded our interpersonal communication skills. I’ll leave aside the question of whether email advances the therapeutic model. I’ve seen enough messages to appreciate the position of the therapist, however. Perhaps the messages don’t really matter that much—
crises pass, marriages mend or end, children and parents reconcile or not. Feelings change, emergencies blow over, and time will tell. The protagonist in a psychological saga is, above all, a storyteller, and the emails are simply one more page in the story someone is telling himself.
Seen in a jaded way, there is nothing new in them, nothing urgent or revealing. They are a story—the same story—being repeated over and over. What bothers me is the fear and panic they uniformly convey. The confusion, the despair, the helplessness. I would hope that the clients would do something more than send a late-night email, something more than pound out their heart’s desperate wail and send it to the wrong address.
I am not your therapist.
What brings this to mind is something that I’ve seen proliferate and take root in Western Buddhist dialogue—the notion that Buddhism is akin to psychology, or even that Buddha was the first psychologist. Positioning Buddhism in that way certainly makes it seem more approachable, doesn’t it? More palatable, more relevant, more modern? More familiar and accessible? Less esoteric and religious? I can see why people think that way, particularly those with a comfortable grounding in psychology.
Some might see a parallel between Buddhism’s silent introspection and psychological reflection. Between Buddhism’s meditative observation of ephemeral thoughts and sensations and the psychotherapeutic instruction to own and express your feelings. Between Buddhism’s radical redefinition of Mind and psychology’s delineation of projection, or externalization of anxiety. I can see the parallels at the onset, but they end rather quickly. As a practice, Buddhism aims to end those parallels, as it aims to pierce the illusions produced by our conditioned, delusive thinking about ourselves and the world we embody. Buddhism isn’t a way to change the stories we tell about ourselves, but to end them altogether.
Buddha was not the first psychologist. He was the last psychologist. And if you have a pinprick of anxiety about who you would be without your story, then that is something you should most definitely explore for yourself, through Buddhist practice.
Buddha has also been called the first scientist, the first doctor, and the first ethicist. All these things are true, up to a point, because all things are true, in a relative sense, up to a point. But I want you to see beyond that point. I want you to see the absolute truth of what you are: a buddha, living in an enlightened world. You will only see that when you practice Buddhism as nothing less than the practice of enlightenment.
And by all means, there is nothing wrong with therapy or therapists. Let’s keep them in their place. If you need one, get a good one. If you are one, be the best one. Practice Buddhism, and you’ll know the difference, as many honest, ethical and compassionate therapists do.

04/10/2015

#03

Your twenties can be a rough time. You graduate college. You get a job—not necessarily the one you always dreamed of. You may move to a new city and start trying to establish yourself. But a lot of the time, you're just not sure where you're headed—or even where you want to be going.
Often, the question of “what now?” plagues us in our twenties like chickenpox. The more we scratch, the worse it itches. The overwhelming vagueness of “what am I doing with my life?” can crush us like the bully who sat on our head in third grade.
Our twenties can feel like being smothered in questions, but if we don’t ask the right questions, we will forever remain stuck.
After years of struggle, studying, searching and being un-glamorously squashed over and over again, here are 11 questions I believe every twentysomething needs to ask to be successful:
OUR TWENTIES CAN FEEL LIKE BEING SMOTHERED IN QUESTIONS, BUT IF WE DON’T ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS, THEN WE’LL FOREVER REMAIN STUCK.
1. Do the people I’m surrounded by bring me life?
Are your friends taking steps forward or are they still playing beer pong in the basement? Do you leave from hanging out with friends feeling anxious or alive? Are your friends anvils tied around your ankles or jetpacks helping you fly?
Your life will resemble the lives of your closest friends—does that fact excite you or freak you out?
2. Who inspires me the most?
Think about the one person you most want to emulate. Who is it? Now what is it about their story or character that draws you to them? Write down the words that come to mind. The person you want to be like the most tells you a lot about who you hope to become.
3. What are my favorite stories?
What are your top three movies? Is there a common thread that runs through each story?
If you want to see what matters most to you, look at the stories that resonate the closest. For me, the common thread in my favorite movies is the underdog who perseveres through pain, thrives from their authentic self and succeeds at something sane people would never attempt.
Your core values are lying on the surface of your favorite stories.
4. Would I want to live with me?
Before you start thinking about living with someone else, do you even want to live with yourself? Have you opened up your closet doors and faced your monsters?
Too many people go into relationships hoping that they will fix all their problems, when relationships actually have the magical ability to show you how many problems you really have. Like a third-rate magician, marriage puts big things behind a curtain, but does nothing to make them disappear.
If you don’t like living with yourself, is it fair to ask someone else to live with you?
5. Do I love from my insecurities or do I love from my strengths?
Loving from your insecurities demands from others. Loving from your strengths gives to them. Loving out of your insecurities means you don't want to see people succeed more than yourself. Loving from your strengths means you are the first to celebrate with others when you hear of their successes. Loving from insecurities daily demands “what are you going to do for me?” Loving from strengths asks others, “what can I do for you?” Too many people love from their insecurities, and that’s not love.
6. Where am I ripe with talent and where do I quickly deflate?
We all have talent. And we all have loads of non-talent we keep trying to transform into talent. Write down a few things you’re talented at and a few things you’re not. Then focus on the things you’re good at. Stop trying to chip away at that solid cement block when you have a soft block of cheese just waiting to be devoured.
7. What are my favorite hobbies/things I do for fun, and are they something I can leverage into a career or product?
I recently heard John Saddington speak, a serial entrepreneur who’s probably best known for creating Standard Theme for WordPress, and he urged the crowd to examine our hobbies.
There is something you have spent more time doing than most people in the world. How can you leverage that experience into something that could make you money? For Saddington, he loved online computer games, so he started an online dating service for gamers. He knew the gaming world and he knew websites, so he put those two together and had an overnight success.
For me, it’s telling stories. So I started writing them down.
8. What’s the main thing holding me back?
Is it an addiction? Anxiety attacks? Depression? An obsession with pinning pictures of rock-hard abs on Pinterest while drinking? What is the main thing that is keeping you from moving forward and who can help you cut the chain?
WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO GIVE UP AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO CLING TIGHT TO?
9. What are my negotiables and non-negotiables?
What are you willing to give up and what are you going to cling tightly to? Are you willing to move anywhere, but you’ll never take a job that expects more than 40 hours a week? Is job flexibility a non-negotiable, or is it job-stability? Write a list of non-negotiables and negotiables, and then do your best to stick to that list.
10. What breaks my heart?
What injustice makes you angrier than a parrot being poked with a stick? And what’s something you can do about it right now? Knowing what breaks your heart can clarify what makes you feel whole.
11. At 29 years and 364 days, if I have accomplished just one thing, what do I want it to be?
If you only had the choice to accomplish just one thing in your twenties, what would it be? How do you take one step toward that today? Our twenties can feel like trying to walk with shoes covered in fast-dry cement, so how do we keep moving forward? Is it a phone call to ask for an informational interview? Is it asking a crush out on a date? Is it making an appointment with a counselor? What’s one small thing you can do today so that you can go even further tomorrow?

03/10/2015

#02
Research presented at the Royal Economic Society's annual conference has suggested that shouting at children and meting out punishments could make their behaviour worse rather than better.
A team at the London School of Economics, led by Dr Laure De Preux, analysed around 19,000 children born during the first two years of this century, using data collected from parents just before they were one, then again when they turned three, five and seven.
Teachers and older brothers and sisters were also interviewed to gauge the youngsters' behavioural patterns.
It was found that excessive shouting actually led to a deterioration in discipline, whereas reasoning with children was more likely to improve their behaviour without damaging their wellbeing.
However, the researchers acknowledged that it was difficult to separate other factors that would affect children's discipline levels. For example, middle-class parents were more likely to reason with their children, but they were also more likely to implement structured bedtimes and provide nutritious food - something known to boost wellbeing and good conduct - than poorer families.

03/10/2015

#01
Psychology says, being openly weird and or awkward with someone is an indication of how comfortable you are with that individual.