Giving Hope Counselling Services

11/02/2026

(1) Marry a man that has sense enough to know that paying your bride price is not equal to buying you.
(2) Marry a man who has sense enough to know that marrying you is not doing you a favour.

(3) Marry a man that has sense enough to know that you are likely to have cramps and mood swings during your monthly circle, and shouldn't use it against you.

(4) Marry a man who has sense enough to know that as a woman you also have a right to say "NO" to s*x at times and if he must have his way he should at least try to make you happy and put you in the mood.

(5) Marry a man who has sense enough to know that after childbirth you are posed to have stretch marks, big stomach, sag b***s and not too good shape, and he shouldn't blame you because of that or compare you to a sweet 16, your sag b***s or stretch marks is a sign of motherhood. (Although you can work it out and be back to shape which is proper.)

(6) Marry a man who has sense enough to know that there are times you are just too tired to cook, and him taking you to the eatery to eat dinner or him fixing the meal that day to save you the stress is not a taboo.

(7) Marry a man who has sense enough to know that you have a right to voice out your frustration, a right to agree and disagree, a right to air your opinions.

(8) Marry a man who has sense enough to know that you deserve to hear "sorry" from him and he's obliged to plead and ask for forgiveness when he errs and not use his headship as a means to escape saying "sorry"

(9) Marry a man who has sense enough to know that hitting a lady is a crime against humanity.

(10) Marry a man who loves your soul not just your body, marry a man who enjoys talking to you even without touching your body, not someone who cannot talk to you without touching you.

May you not miss it in marriage.

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Channel • 458 followers • 𝐖𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 💕𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 💋 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥 E.T.C 💗 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 💋💋💋
𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬. 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭, 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 🙏

08/02/2026

TURNING CONFLICT INTO CONNECTION: THE ART OF LOVING CONFRONTATION
Who actually enjoys addressing conflict when something is wrong? Certainly not us—and from the couples we interact with, most ordinary spouses feel just as uneasy about confronting issues in their relationships. Yet, what happens when a problem arises and you must address it with your spouse? Notice we used the term marriage partner. That choice is intentional. In marriage, we are meant to function as partners—no longer two individuals, but one unified entity, joined together in purpose and conduct. Scripture reminds us that husband and wife become one flesh and are to live in unity (Matthew 19:4–6; Mark 10:7–9). Unfortunately, when emotions run high, we often forget this truth and behave in ways that undermine that unity.
However, confrontation—when handled with wisdom and love—can be one of the most powerful tools for growth in a relationship. It is similar to resetting a broken bone: uncomfortable and even painful, but essential for healing and restoration. Most people dislike confrontation because it feels awkward and forces them to face issues they would rather avoid. Yet real growth often occurs through discomfort. If you desire a strong and healthy marriage, you must be willing to have those difficult conversations (Pastor Darren Stott).
Marital Confrontation: Speaking the Truth with Love
In marriage, confrontation is sometimes necessary, but how we confront matters just as much as what we say. The biblical principle of treating others as we would like to be treated reminds us that, even when addressing difficult issues, we should preserve our spouse’s dignity, feelings, and worth. Respectful confrontation strengthens relationships; harsh confrontation damages them.
It is easy to justify harsh words when we feel hurt or angry. However, Scripture teaches that anger does not excuse unkind speech or behavior. Wise partners pause, reflect, and choose their words carefully, understanding that careless words can wound deeply, while gentle words can bring healing and restoration.
Before confronting your spouse, it is helpful to ask: Will this issue matter in ten years, one year, or even a month? This perspective helps couples distinguish between serious issues that require discussion and minor irritations that can be released. When confrontation is necessary, approaching the conversation calmly and lovingly increases the likelihood of a productive outcome.
Key Principles for Healthy Marital Confrontation
1. Prioritize the relationship over the issue.
Problems should never become more important than the person. Couples are partners, not opponents. Unity and connection must remain the goal, even during conflict.
2. Use gentle and respectful communication.
A calm and compassionate approach reduces defensiveness and promotes openness. Speaking the truth in love creates space for understanding and growth.
3. Choose your words wisely.
Reckless words can cause lasting harm, but thoughtful and kind speech fosters healing. Being “right” does not justify speaking in a hurtful or aggressive manner.
4. Practice self-regulation before confronting.
Wait until emotions have settled before discussing sensitive topics. Addressing issues while angry often escalates conflict rather than resolving it.
5. Use “I” statements instead of blame.
Expressing feelings with “I feel…” rather than “You always…” reduces defensiveness and encourages constructive dialogue.
6. Communicate with warmth, empathy, and sincerity.
Warmth conveys acceptance, empathy shows understanding, and sincerity reflects genuine care. These attitudes help your spouse feel safe and valued during difficult conversations.
Honest communication is essential in marriage, yet criticism naturally triggers defensiveness. The goal of confrontation is not to win an argument but to deepen understanding, restore connection, and strengthen the relationship. When couples confront with gentleness, empathy, and self-control, difficult conversations become opportunities for healing, growth, and deeper intimacy.
At Giving Hope Counselling Services, we understand that confronting issues in your marriage or relationship can feel uncomfortable, emotional, and overwhelming. Our experienced Marriage and Family Therapists will expertly guide you on how to address difficult conversations with confidence, compassion, and respect—without damaging your relationship. You will learn practical, research-based and faith-informed strategies to express your concerns calmly, reduce defensiveness, resolve conflict constructively, and strengthen emotional connection. With our support, confrontation becomes a pathway to healing, growth, and deeper intimacy—helping you and your partner move from conflict to unity and understanding.
*Peter Mugi Kuruga*
*Counselling Psychologist* | *Marriage and Family Therapist*
*Diploma in Counselling (MFT), B. Com., MA in Sociology (Counselling), PhD (MFT) – On going*

05/02/2026

DONT ENTER INTO MARRIAGE WITH SECRETS:

Common Secrets people hide into marriage:

1. Family Secrets:

I remeber counselling one young couple few years back. Both the man and His bride to be were fresh grads who just started on their good permanent Jobs.

Though the man came from a very rich family, He never disclosed to his fiancee that their Father was a dealer who made his fortune by stealing and illegal deals.

Because it was a famous family, people eventually told the bride to be what type of a family she was about to marry.

The young woman in turn told her family and the planned marriage was eventually called off.

I believe she also suspected that her husband to be would somehow follow suit.

But had he told her earlier how their Father was, maybe they could have married. Honesty is very important in marriage.

2. Financial & Debts Secrets:

I cant remebember how many people got married without knowing exactly how much their Partner is making. So many.

Likewise, i cant imagine how many people got married without knowing the total debt their partner owed but went into community of property, so many.

Its not wise to marry in community of property without understanding fullt the finances and debts / loans of your partner.

3. Secret Affairs:

I often tell them during Pre-Marital Counselling that having secret affairs in marriage is applying for divorce in advance.

Soonet or later your divorce would be approved. You cannot keep your marriage and affairs at the samr time. You have to sacrifice the other.

4. Secret Diseases:

Its unwise to enter into marriage without full disclosure of your health condition.

Once your Partner finds out they are going to feel betrayed. Perhaps you were caught with hiv, disclose earlier. Its better your partner knows and hiv is fairly manageable these days people live longer, healthier lives but disclose before marriage.

Infact, i recommend a general health screening including all STIs for both of you before marriage.

5. Secret children:

Though its commmon for men not to disclose about all their children, i remember counselling onr couple in which the woman lied about her two other children. The woman had four children but informed her would be husband she had two though the other two lived with her parents.

The man found out after marriage and filed for divorce. Disclose all your children, be honest. Marriage founded on diception is bound to be short-lived before it even starts.
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05/02/2026

https://www.facebook.com/61587108488460/posts/122105287905236949/

“It’s crazy how your ex will block you right after a breakup, but couldn’t figure out how to block their ex during your entire relationship…”

Funny how boundaries suddenly become so crystal clear once you’re no longer the one who benefits from them.

All the excuses that once sounded reasonable now echo back as empty justifications.

You start replaying conversations you once let slide, moments you rationalized because you cared, because you trusted, because you wanted the relationship to work more than you wanted the truth to hurt.

You remember how you were asked for patience, for understanding, for reassurance while you were quietly being asked to compete with a memory that should’ve stayed in the past.

What hurts the most isn’t just the blocking itself; it’s the realization that they always knew how to protect their peace; they just didn’t choose to do it for you.

They found the strength to cut you off instantly, but somehow never found the courage to cut off what was poisoning your relationship the entire time.

And suddenly, everything becomes clearer: the emotional distance you felt, the insecurity you tried to ignore, the doubts you blamed on yourself.

Now you’re left with silence where effort should have been, and distance where respect should have lived.

You wonder how someone could hold onto the past so tightly while promising you a future.

You question your own judgment for believing potential over patterns.
And slowly, painfully, you realize that love shouldn’t feel like a constant negotiation for priority, reassurance, or basic boundaries.

In the end, the block isn’t the betrayal; it’s just the proof.
Proof that they were always capable of choosing, always capable of acting, always capable of drawing a line.

They just waited until you were no longer on the side of it.

05/02/2026

05/02/2026

"Successful Marriages" is not just a marriage book but rather a practical guide couples can actually apply to their relationships. In these pages, partners discover the secrets that help them communicate better, fight less, grow closer, and create a marriage worth celebrating. “This book shows couples exactly what successful marriages do differently—and how to start doing it today!

05/02/2026

Big shout out to my newest top fans! 💎 Danka Arts, Jimmy Mose, Ogango Steve, Rispar Obiri, Patrick Maina, Che Leonard Tang

Drop a comment to welcome them to our community, fans

04/02/2026

STAYING WITH A MAN IN DIFFICULT TIMES IS NOT ALWAYS SUPPORT.

Staying with your husband during a rough season does not automatically mean you supported him. Sometimes what looks like loyalty on the outside is actually silent destruction on the inside.

There are women who stayed, but every day they insulted, abused, belittled, and reminded the man of his failure. They stayed because they feared people’s opinions, family pressure, or wanted the “married” title, not because they truly cared.

Physically present, but emotionally cruel. Instead of building him, they reduced him to nothing.

That is why, when things finally improve, some men leave. Not because they forgot who stayed, but because during the hardest moments, she revealed who she truly was. Difficult times expose character. They show who is really for you and who is just there for appearances.

Support is not staying. Support is respect, encouragement, patience, and belief, especially when things are falling apart.

Bishop BM Buthelezi

04/02/2026