06/04/2026
Could be said better....
Maybe my Article of 4years ago in The Nation newspaper could still be relevant especially now that suicidal deaths still shock us:
I wrote this below in 2022:
ON SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND DEATHS
A fortnight ago, the entertainment world was struck by the passing of former Miss USA, Cheslie Kryst. Last week, we also woke up to shocking news that celebrated Zambian make-up artist, Felistus Banda, had ended her own life. Here in Malawi, su***de rates have, in recent years, been rising in scary fashions.
While suicidal deaths are not entirely a new phenomenon, present statistics are pretty much unprecedented. Medical professionals, often and rightly, attribute them to prevalent high levels of unemployment, persistent deep poverty and poor health that in turn catapult poor souls into depression and stress. Doubtless stress levels out here are unparalleled.
But rising numbers of su***des are only one of multiple signs pointing to the fact that there is something the current dominant generation isn’t doing right. My take is that a sense of love, kindness and compassion is steadily but surely departing from us. In our chase for money, material success, growth and expansion, we seem to make strides at the expense of relationships, family and friendships. By and by, we are divorcing ourselves from a strong sense of community that defined preceding generations in preference to individualism: myself, my spouse and my children.
Look, I do not necessarily think it’s the lack of jobs that is pushing people into depression; I rather believe it is the painful reality the unemployed face that, in their status of unemployment, their dear uncle, aunt, friend or wife seems not to care as much, pay attention to or understand their desperate situation. Our departed friends did not take their lives because a relationship ended, they did so because they didn’t see the rest of us as of any help at all. In the worst-case scenario, they couldn’t even imagine facing us. Perhaps they were convinced we would mock and judge them and broadcast their otherwise private matter. With social media abuses, their experience would go viral, backed by pictures and videos.
Today, whenever someone we know commits su***de, our first reaction is, “he should’ve opened up to me”, “she shouldn’t have killed herself for that little money”, “she should have just dumped him, there is more to life”, or “I would have found him something to do if he only came forth”.
You see, it’s as if we are approachable. It’s as if we are willing to share just a little from our wealth that someone desperately needs to start a small business. Yet we always think we don’t have enough to take a share from. We believe we need to enrich ourselves more before we can share.
Friends and family with suicidal thoughts will not come to you and say, “give me money or else I will kill myself”. They will engage you in the ordinary and familiar conversations, “man tamenyani 50pin penapake zandivuta” (man, mind sharing a K50,000, I need it for something)” or “alamu anu samalora ma Visa, mbola!” (my spouse won’t let me chill outside home sadly). When they say this, we dismiss them and call them names. All they expect is that you voluntarily observe, see their point of need and open up. Sometimes they don’t even want you to speak or act; they just want you to be there and listen. That’s all.
Not that they are entitled, but we must create a society that assumes the responsibility of preserving a sense of belongingness and community for its members. Psychologists, counselors and other professional formal mental health support mechanisms are necessary but they will mostly be a successful avenue if they build on existing natural and traditional support systems built within families and personal relationships.
When friends, family or people we knew kill themselves, let us seriously ask ourselves why they weren’t comfortable to reach out to us. Let’s stop being interested in people only when they are gone. No gain is earned in trying hard to show your association with people only when they’re gone. We’ll have to invest in relationships and be intentional and deliberate about love, empathy, compassion and kindness.
Hope Mezuwa
