01/12/2021
My therapist told me last week that I have a problem holding onto the joy of my accomplishments.. always keeping my celebrations brief and discounting what it took to get there. As if I'm ashamed or undeserving, or dare I say, not doing enough... the last year and a half final hit me.. all the boundaries I let people cross, all the parts of myself I gave to everyone but myself, and all the self-doubt I let ensue as a result of it. I was too depleted to even experience joy.
So I listened to my therapist. Tried to capture in a snapshot and words on a paper of when I feel joy. To describe it, explore it, hold onto it for a bit and maybe learn some things.
To name a few of the many things I wrote down in no particular order (and thx yall for bearing witness):
The sensation of waves crashing on my feet, late night taco crawls, learning about a new city and people watching, fancy cocktails, endorphin enduring workouts (especially with a view), elaborate meals created by a younger generation of chefs in small tucked away neighborhoods (also the fact that there are lots of women at the helm), witnessing my aunt experience joy, reggaeton on the beach, massages on the daily, when the sun hits my skin just right, rosey lips that match my bathing suit, young Mexicans live it up with their friends as they enter adulthood, hearing Spanish all around me, seeing little kids who remind me of my cutie back home.
Back in the Bay holding onto this joy a lil bit longer than I usually do..I hope to build courage to carve more spaces in my daily life to feel these sensations, to seek them because I am deserving and to hold onto them because I know they will help me be there for others in a more meaningful way. Don't know for how long I can keep this practice up. But now I have you all (and my therapist) to hold me accountable ❤
![When called me to tell me that bonappetitmag] had chosen Reem's California] to be on this list.. this first thing that ...](https://img4.findhealthclinics.com/760/941/406053237609414.jpg)
