http://www.thecoachingchannel.com/

The Coaching Channel, Idris Gidado Street, Wuye, Opposite Family Worship Centre, Abuja (2025)

01/12/2025

Waiting to "feel motivated" before taking action?

Here's the truth: Motivation follows action. Not the other way around.

Try this experiment this week:

Pick one thing you've been avoiding (making that call, starting that project, having that conversation).

Set a timer for just 5 minutes. Tell yourself you only have to work on it for 5 minutes. After that, you can stop guilt-free.

What happens?
Usually, you keep going. Because starting is the hardest part. Once you're in motion, motivation shows up.

The assignment: Try this once this week. Just 5 minutes on something you're avoiding.
Report back. What happened? Did you surprise yourself?

28/11/2025

The real reason you're stuck:

You're not stuck because you lack motivation. You're not stuck because you're lazy. You're not stuck because something is fundamentally wrong with you.

You're stuck because you're navigating your inner world with outdated strategies that don't work.

Let me explain:

When you were a child, you developed ways to cope with difficult situations:

Maybe you learned:
* When Mom was stressed, stay quiet (avoid conflict)
* When Dad was angry, disappear (escape uncomfortable emotions)
* When you failed, beat yourself up (harsh self-criticism, trying to prevent future failure)
* When things felt uncertain, control everything possible (illusion of safety)

These strategies made sense then. They helped you survive your childhood environment.

But you're not in that environment anymore.

The problem:

Those old strategies are still running on autopilot:

Your thinking mind still catastrophizes to try to keep you safe. Your emotional reactions still panic at the slightest uncertainty. Your behavior patterns still repeat the same avoidance

You're trying to navigate adult life with the coping mechanisms of a child.
No wonder you feel stuck.

What needs to happen:

You need to update your operating system.

You need to develop internal flexibility—adult skills for navigating your inner world:

Instead of avoiding discomfort → Practice willingness to feel it in service of your values

Instead of catastrophizing → Notice worried thoughts and choose whether to listen

Instead of reacting impulsively → Pause, ground yourself, respond intentionally

Instead of repeating old patterns → Try new behaviours despite fear

This is learnable.

Your childhood coping mechanisms were learned. Your adult navigation skills can be learned, too.

You're not broken. You're operating with outdated software.

Let's upgrade it.

Life Navigation Programme starts January 4th.

27/11/2025

This is the question that changes everything.

27/11/2025

Ngozi had a business idea for 3 years.

A really good one. People kept saying, "You should do this. This could be huge."

She had the skills. The experience. The connections.

But every time she tried to start, the same thing happened:

Her thinking mind took over: "What if nobody buys?" "You don't know enough about marketing" "Your competitors are already established" "You'll probably fail and waste your savings" "Wait until you figure it all out"

So she waited. And researched. And planned. And perfected her business plan.

And waited some more.

She was trapped in her thinking mind, overthinking everything.

Meanwhile, her savings mocked her. Her job drained her. Her dream gathered dust.

Week 2 of the Life Navigation Programme, Ngozi had a breakthrough:
"I'm not scared to start. I'm scared to FEEL the discomfort of starting."

Her thinking mind was trying to protect her from:
The fear of failure
The embarrassment of people seeing her try
The uncertainty of not knowing if it would work

But here's what we taught her: You don't need to eliminate the fear to take action.

You need to be willing to feel it AND act anyway.

We walked her through the Willingness Practice:
"Are you willing to feel fear, uncertainty, and doubt in order to build the business you've been dreaming about?"

She said yes.

Week 3: She registered her business name. Week 4: She posted her first offer on social media. Week 5: She got her first client. Week 6: She quit overthinking and started learning by doing.

Today, 8 months later, Ngozi's business brings as much as her old salary. We can only imagine how much the business will bring in a year.

But that's not even the best part.

The best part? She trusts herself now.

She knows she can feel fear, uncertainty and doubt and still move forward.

That's internal flexibility. That's what we teach.

Life Navigation Programme starts January 4th.

26/11/2025

"I don't want to be the mom who yells."

That's what Amara told me, tears in her voice.

"But by 7pm, after work, dinner, homework, the kids fighting over the remote for the tenth time... I just snap. And I hate myself for it."

Sound familiar?

Amara wasn't a "bad mom." She was an overwhelmed mom with no tools for navigating her inner world.

Here's what was happening:

All day at work: Amara stayed in thinking mode—planning, problem-solving, keeping it together

By evening: Her nervous system was exhausted, but she pushed through. Made dinner. Helped with homework. Tried to be patient.

When the kids fought: Her emotions exploded. All that suppressed stress came flooding out as anger.

Then guilt: Her thinking mind came back with harsh judgments: "You're a terrible mother. What's wrong with you?"

The cycle: Suppress feelings → Explode → Judge yourself → Repeat

In Week 1 of the Life Navigation Programme, we taught Amara something revolutionary:

You can't suppress your emotions all day and expect to be calm at night.

Emotions don't disappear because you ignore them. They build up.
We introduced her to:

1. Micro Check-ins During the Day
* Three times a day, pause for 60 seconds
* Notice: "What am I feeling right now?"
* Name it: "Stress. Tension. Frustration."
* Make space for it: "This is what I'm feeling. It's okay."

2. The Evening Shift Practice
* Before walking into her house, 5-minute pause in the car
* Breathe slowly. Feel your feelings. Let them be.
* Then choose: "What kind of mom do I want to be tonight?"

3. When Anger Comes
* Notice: "I'm noticing anger. Heat rising."
* Pause: One deep breath before responding
* Act: "I'm going to step outside for 2 minutes"

First week? She still yelled once. But she caught herself and apologized.

Second week? She felt the anger rising, paused, and said: "Mommy needs a 2-minute break."

By Week 4? Her 7-year-old said: "Mommy, you don't shout as much anymore."

Amara cried when she told me that. Happy tears.

Internal flexibility isn't about being perfect.

It's about having the skills to navigate your inner world so you can show up as who you want to be.

Even when you're tired. Even when the kids are fighting over the remote.

Life Navigation Programme. January 4th.

26/11/2025

If you're waiting to "feel ready" before you:

* Start that business
* Have that conversation
* Apply for that role
* Make that change

You'll be waiting forever.

Ready is not a feeling. Ready is a decision.

Make it today.

25/11/2025

Our emotions are not the enemy.

Somewhere along the way, we learned that negative emotions are bad.

"Don't be sad" "Don't be anxious" "Don't be angry" "Just be positive"

So we fight our emotions. Suppress them. Distract ourselves from them.
And we wonder why we feel so disconnected from ourselves.

Here's the truth:

Your emotions are not the enemy. Your relationship with them is the problem.

🌊 Sadness tells you something you valued was lost. It connects you to what matters.

⚡ Anxiety warns you about potential threats. It's trying to protect you.

🔥 Anger signals a boundary was violated. It's information.

😊 Joy shows you what brings you alive. It points to your values.

Every emotion has a function.

The problem isn't the emotion. The problem is how we RELATE to it.

Poor relationship with emotions:

Anxiety shows up → "I shouldn't feel this way" Try to push it away → It gets stronger Avoid situations that might trigger it → Life gets smaller Result: Controlled by the emotion

Healthy relationship with emotions:

Anxiety shows up → "I'm noticing anxiety" Make space for it → "This is uncomfortable but I can hold it" Act based on values anyway → "I'm scared AND I'm doing this" Result: Navigate the emotion skillfully

This is what we mean by "changing how you relate to your inner experience."

You don't eliminate emotions. You don't control them.

You learn to:
* Notice them
* Name them
* Make space for them
* Use them as information
* Act based on your values, not just your feelings

This is internal flexibility.

Want to develop a healthier relationship with your emotions?

Our Life Navigation Programme starts January 4th.

25/11/2025

Why You Can't "Just Get Over It"

"Just let it go." "Don't think about it." "You're being too sensitive."

If willpower alone could fix emotional struggles, you'd have done it by now.

Tom tried for YEARS to "just get over" his social anxiety.
He told himself to be confident. Forced himself to networking events. Mentally beat himself up when he struggled.

It never worked. You know why?

Because you can't think your way out of an emotional pattern.

It's like telling someone with a broken leg to "just walk it off."

The problem isn't their motivation or mindset—they need actual healing and proper tools.

Tom stopped trying to force confidence and started learning the actual skills of emotional regulation.

He learned to:
* Work WITH his nervous system instead of fighting it
* Build tolerance for discomfort gradually
* Respond to anxiety instead of avoiding it

Now he's not "over it"—he's skilled at managing it. Big difference.

Stop blaming yourself for not having tools you were never given.

24/11/2025

Real talk:

How many self-help books have you read?

How many speakers have you listened to?

How many times have you said "I'm going to change" and then... didn't?

Here's why:

Information doesn't create transformation.

You don't need more knowledge.

You need practical skills for navigating the gap between knowing and doing.

That gap is filled with uncomfortable feelings. Fear. Uncertainty. Doubt.

And nobody ever taught you how to navigate those feelings while still taking action.

That's what we teach. Not theory. Skills.

Life Navigation Programme. January 4th.

Stop consuming content. Start building skills.

24/11/2025

"Just think positive." "Focus on solutions, not problems." "You need to change your mindset."
Sound familiar?

Here's why that advice often makes things WORSE:

When you're stuck, you're usually already trapped in your thinking mind—analyzing, planning, worrying, judging.

Your inner voice is going into OVERDRIVE:
* "What if this doesn't work?"
* "Remember when you failed last time?"
* "You're not good enough for this"

And then someone tells you: "Think positive."
That's like trying to think your way out of overthinking!

What actually works?
Learning to SHIFT between different aspects of your inner experience when one isn't serving you.

Sometimes you need to:
* Stop thinking and START FEELING → Notice what's happening in your body right now, ground yourself in the present
Other times you need to:
* Stop analyzing and START DOING → Take action before you "feel ready," try something new

This is internal flexibility—knowing when your thinking is helping vs. when it's keeping you stuck.

Most people only know how to operate from their thinking mind. And they wonder why they're exhausted but nothing changes.

In our Life Navigation Programme, we teach you to recognize which aspect you're stuck in and how to shift intentionally.

Six weeks. Live coaching. Practical tools you can use immediately.

Starting January 4th. Enrollment opens December 1st.

23/11/2025

As this week starts, remember:

You don't need to have it all figured out.

You don't need to feel confident.

You don't need to know if it will work.

You just need to be willing to try.

That willingness? That's courage.

23/11/2025

Before this week starts, take 2 minutes for this:

Close your eyes. Take three slow breaths. Ask yourself: "What am I feeling right now?"

Don't judge it. Don't try to change it. Just notice it.

Tight chest? Tension in the shoulders? Calm? Restless?

This simple practice—noticing without reacting—is the foundation of internal flexibility.

Most of us go through entire days without checking in with ourselves.

And we wonder why we're stressed, reactive, and disconnected.

Take the time to pause and check in with yourself.

The Coaching Channel

01/12/2025

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