06/07/2020
KONJI!!!
(A Christian Sister's Strong S*xual Urge Experience)
Let's get down with this... My experience! We'll name the guy Sam. So, I've never liked this guy since I met him . I mean, for me, his oversabi and 'I too know' was just too much. The feeling was mutual anyway, he didn't like me too, so durhhh!🙄
Getting to my finals, where I had to settle project sturvs, the number of people had reduced drastically in school, Sam and I began to see ourselves quite frequently, we got talking and well, he wasn't as bad as I thought.
You know that thing they say if the wanted is not available, the available becomes wanted? Ehn, that was the case. By the way, this guy knew how to get me, he was really intelligent, and as a sapio- that I am, its safe to say he got me to pieces sef.
Our talking frequency was on a hyper! We'ld talk about everything, social, economy, went for conferences, spiritual (now this guy had some deep insights the world hasn't heard before... DEEP!), we had fun o.
Fast forward to when we now became pallies and would talk about a lot, scratch that! ANYTHING! I mean, EVERYTHING!
We finally left the school, and Oga began to introduce some knew sturvs!
As a smart babe that I am, I loved to be shoulders leveled with him, at least to show that I'm vast and well acquainted with stuff! In my head I'm like "I'm not one of those babes who know nothing"
Soon, Oga was getting really impressed, commended me, and yeah, my head almost got burst from so many pleasantries!
Up-to-date babe like me! I didn't come to play mehn! I was born ready! Hehehe
What more? We became even closer, made a lot of calls, not until that day... Sam mentioned about s*x! Ha! Mogbe! I thought you 'is' a christian bro? Wahz goin on?
You know as at this point, pride had taken over me, and I couldn't fall my hand! I had to live up to my name! "S*x shebi? Ehn, what about it?"... He noticed the little hesitation in my voice, and he was quick to work around it (take it from me, this guy smart dhye!)
Soon, I felt "shey we talk about basically everything, so this shouldn't be a bad idea". So I hopped it, he first started from its importance in marriage and all... In my head I go "oh, its not what I thought, the boyvren is just trying to be educative" I contributed the little-to-nothing I knew, and always tried to bring the conversation round the fact that God is against it for unmarried people.
You can call me a learner! Next call, he said "Sissi, shey you know you'll be very crazy in bed?" In my mind I go; Haaaa! Crazy in bed bi ti bawo? Egbami!
Bhet you see, I couldn't afford to act naïve and fall my hand!
So I laughed and was like awwwnnn... Mumu me? (I know right? Right!) Wait for it! It didn't end there...
And that's how the next set of convos went from economic, spiritual, social talks to always end in s*x talks! I don't know much, I mean, so guess what I did? I took my phone and began to check all I could about s*x. No na, this guy cannot beat me. Was it pride? Maybe! But I sha knew the talk was sweeting me one kine.
A part of me KNEW it wasn't cool, another part was enjoying the exploration of knowledge! After all, daughter of Zion ain't no small girl anymore, I'm supposed to know these things for my future at least. And besides, my 'lecturer' is a guy who knows deep things of the scriptures!
On and on we went to talking about s*x styles to fun places to have s*x, to this to that... All on phone!
I never knew he did all these to 'prepare the way' osheyy!!! Brother John the baptist!
And yes, he came visiting! Kikiki! I was living in an estate then, just me... Close work late at night, and unku came visiting.
Jesu! What are you doing here bro? He gave me the 'tani bro e?' look!, then he said with the sweetest voice ever "I came to visit you"... My mind said 'Awwwnnn', bhet you see, I reacted! Visit oshi wo ni yen? Visit kee you dia! Agent of darkness!
Ah! Brother, see, I have one room, just one, so how do you intend doing this? He looks at me with the eye of "so where do you want me to go?" I felt pity, and I said OK, if that's it, we'll both stay outside tonight! He looked at me like 'are you for real?' Ah! Bro, over real dey worry me sef!
Ain't nobody wanna fall into some crappy stuff you know? So we did stay outside! Mosquito dealt with us mercilessly! We g*t manage am!
Next morning, about to leave, then he said "ah ah, no hug?", I looked up. Hug shebi? That's fine! My brethren in the Christ of God! That's when I knew there's hug, and there is hugzz! Hay God! No details biko.
I overcame him, but I didn't defeat him yet! Did I continue the calls? Yesss! Did we keep talking about those s*x sturvs? Yesss! So where did he lead us? Us? I'm not sure, but me? I'll tell you where it led me!
For days, I woke up with strong s*xual urges! I had never experienced it that way before, I woke up almost every morning of my life feeling like grabbing the next guy to me and having s*x with him.
It was baddd! What's all these?! Did naive me tell Oga Sam? Yes! I absolutely did! And what did he tell me? He said it was normal! Normal ke? Oga! I didn't experience this when I was approaching puberty, why now? Why?
Something is definitely wrong! He stood his ground and said no! Nothing is wrong! Ah toorr! I took it like that... We kept chatting our lives away, and it got even worse. For months...
PS: At the time this guy came into my life, I was going into deep dimensions in God! Deep I say... Deeppp! Ahhh! There was a time for three days, I couldn't eat, I couldn't do nada! I needed all the space in the world to pray... Anywhere and everywhere! I'll fast, tongue, pray! I could hear God like he was close to me! Bliss! Heaven!...
But guess what? Gradually, it began to slip... It didn't happen once, so I thought it was just one of those days I was weak. I'll tell Sam I couldn't pray, he'll say 'ehen' and that's it! That's where it ended! No help measures, nothing. This period was hell!
But if I told him about anything else, like how I was uncontrollably wet and h***y from the discussion we just had on the phone, ha! I'd just made his day!
I knew something was wrong but I just couldn't leave! I knew I had to, but here was I thinking "what if he's the will of God for me?"
MUMU MEEE! You could say that again! Konji almost killed me! Even though I was somehow still able to hold through my "NO S*X" chant (to Jesus be my glory) I knew I had been defiled! It didn't need a physical meet/exchange to have actual s*x!
I'm speaking from experience, not fables, not fiction!
After monthsss of crying to God saying "Lord break this useless friendship" I didn't want it anymore, I prayed and prayed, but my Sam knew me too well to want to destroy my life! He didn't let me go.
He pampered me, bought me all sorts... This moment I decide I'm leaving, next moment, I say "what if..."
Maybe I was legit expecting God to come down to break the relationship, or tear the friendship apart. Lol. Jokes on me!
The relationship didn't do nada! Not even kpim! Not even my tantrums could make Brother Sam pull away!
Somehow, one fateful day, I took up the phone, and I said "Sam, I don't want this friendship anymore, I'm tired!" I thought about the exploits I would've been doing, thought about everything, and said NO! NO! NO!
God wouldn't give me a person that'll tear me away from him. My friends knew me to be a "fasting machine" lol, but here was I, unable to fast till 12 anymore! I could legit pray for hours, but just negodu! Look at me! Konji had congealed my destiny!
This can't be it! If this is it, then to hell with the goddamn marriage! I'm not interested!
After I told him (I'd ended the friendship severally, but I was always too weak to leave) he said "but I've never asked you for s*x, we've never had s*x, we said we're keeping ourselves till marriage"
Eskis! Hollup sir! Did you say KEEP? what's your definition of keep? If its this nonsense, then you have to be mad Sir! In fact, the both of us are mad together! If its not madness,tell me why I'll leave my depths, and cleave to you! I must have smoked something! I must!
Anyway, whatever, I'm leaving! He was scared, he gave me time, he called back, and was as sweet as ever! He didn't know what wahz up! This time, I ain't looking back bro! I'm NOT!
And yass! I did it! I cut off! Completely! I did miss him, but I miss my future more, I did cry for him, but I missed crying in God's presence more!
Days after I cut off from him, I noticed bastard konji was gone! Ahn Han, what's happening? It was a norm almost every morning (especially whenever I decided to fast) so what's happening? I didn't understand.
See, I even tried and tried to have the thoughts, I tried to bring it upon myself again (just to be sure) but NOTHING!!
HA!! Then it hit me had and bad! Almost in tears, I couldn't believe it! The source had been cut off, so the river must run dry! It must!
Sigh!
The story is long I know, but shey you get my point? Its either you cut off or you cut off!
I struggled, struggled and struggled to get back... A lot had been lost already, a patient reawakening was happening... It is happening, to you, to us, to His church.
You can't have unholy s*xual urges, and have the urge for God at the same time. Naa, one must bow to another. Choose...
For those asking konji means S*xual urge!
© Beautiful_Yet_Godly
