02/12/2023
CHECK OUT THIS EXPOSITORY ARTICLE ON AUTHORITY OF A HUSBAND
MORAL AUTHORITY OF A HUSBAND
By: Desmond Ogbodo
INTRODUCTION: As people acquire more education and get acquainted with the law, ethics, rules and regulations guiding the society as citizens, they get more sophisticated and affirm their position in matters of their rights and privileges. Often, women in particular speak of their rights as if older laws were discriminatory against women and that their rights were deliberately denied. Yet, there’s no clear evidence to prove that modern laws and ethics are more favorable than the older orders in terms of the rights and privileges of women, apart from a few isolated cases, say in the Middle East Asia where there were few cases of disenfranchisement and low adult literacy for some reasons.
Across North America and Africa, certain segments of the society also speak of human rights as if there were aliens that evaded human communities and promulgated obnoxious laws and customs that caused a denial of certain human rights and privileges – yet we do know that such history of aliens imposing repugnant laws on people never existed – apart from a few cases such as slavery which was a universal practice and was not targeted at anyone in particular because anyone could be a victim, and of course occasional emergence of tyrants as kings and queens which were short-lived. In today’s society therefore, women in like manner question the authority of men to correct and discipline members of his household as if the system has become absolute and requires an entirely new order.
In this paper, we will discuss the moral authority of a husband and father to correct, reproof, discipline and instruct members of his household as heads/leaders of families.
2.0 AIM
The aim of this paper is to reflect on the moral authority of a husband and father to correct, discipline and instruct members of his household with a view to fostering strong families as a microcosm of a prosperous civilized society that we all will be proud of.
3.0 SCOPE
4.0 Definition of terms
5.0 Main text/discussion
5.1 Authority of a husband
5.2 Moral authority of a father
5.3 Authority of a wife and mother
5.4 Moral authority in leadership
5.5 What does the Bible teach about moral authority of a husband and father?
6.0 Recommendation and conclusion
7.0 References.
4.0 DEFINITION OF TERMS
Authority:
a. Approval, delegation or freedom to execute a task or project.
b. Approval or delegation to represent somebody, institution or group of people in his/their area of control.
c. Having good knowledge of a subject matter, discipline or field of study.
d. One’s natural area of control or influence (e.g. company, family, organization, community, country or territorial waters)
For the purpose of this piece, we will use definitions a, b, c and d.
Moral Authority: Influence or control derived naturally as a result of one’s personal traits, character, discipline, integrity, position or responsibility.
Legal Authority: Authority/control and strong influence derived from a position or as defined by law.
While moral authority depends on character (Morality) That’s to say, obedience to God’s word and commandments, and obedience to extant rules and regulations in a country, community or organization, legal authority depends on position on occupies as stipulated by the law or rules of engagement. According to Stephen Covey in his book, the 8th Habit, moral authority is required for effective legal authority that is based on official position one is occupying.
Power:
a. Power is defined as intrinsic or inherent ability to execute delegated tasks or projected plan of action/goal.
b. Power is also defined as enablement or resources to execute a task or to represent a person with authority.
c. Power is being able to control or influence.
Referring to definition ‘a’ above, ability is measured by actual result or outcomes/output.
Difference between authority and power:
While authority has to do with control or influence (derived naturally or delegated) power has to do with ability to execute or control things.
In a group, institution, organization, community or family, power is derived from the people and or enablement/resources of the organization. Authority needs power as both of them go hand in hand.
Husband: A man legally married to a woman according to the custom and or marriage ordinance of her country or country of residence where the marriage is taking place. For marriage to take place, both parties must have willingly agreed to be in the union.
5.0 DISCUSSION/MAIN TEXT
5.1 Authority of a husband - control or strong influence in a marriage or family derived naturally from his personality, character, integrity, discipline and position which are his responsibilities as head of family.
Instinctively, society especially women expect a man to have exceptional personality, possess some kind of power and charm (inner strength or ability) to exercise the authority of a husband. Such power normally emanates from consensus (people, family including friends and other stakeholders’ support and enablement) personal resources, and innate or intrinsic abilities to do and control things. In the absence of these four key sources of power, a man gradually loses his authority to control or influence things.
A man’s authority is also derived by delegation from the Christian respective. See Deut 6:6-7 which instructs men to teach them (moral and other God’s instructions) to their households including their wives and children. Thus, God directs a man to teach (correct, instruct and guide) members of his household. In the book of Proverb 22:6: parents are to teach a child the way he should go so that when he grows, he will not depart from it. Thus, a man and his wife have authority (delegated) to teach their children and the man is the head teacher (family priest) and should be able to determine what constitute good moral upbringing as God expects (curriculum) until the children reach the age of discretion.
Also in Eph 5:21-23, it is stated that a man is the head of his wife; this is also in accordance with Jewish and African customs; all of which has root to evolution and culture.
In law, marriage is a legal union recognized by law and the man is the head, likewise in census enumeration except the man is physically absent due to some circumstances. Therefore, a man has moral and legal authority to guide, correct and discipline members of his household. This authority is more effective if he has power – that is to say ability to do what is expected of him as well as the resources to do them; and also if he has the support of the people (family members and friends, the church or temple that he belongs to). Innate ability/intrinsic ability to do something can be by physical results observed from previous efforts. As stated in Capability theory, output is a function of capability Cp and capability is a function of innate ability In, multiplied by environmental factors α and capacity C. Thus ability, resources and people’s support are needed to exercise authority.
Submission presupposes there’s an authority. To submit as it is taught in religious cycles therefore is to submit to a husband’s authority as a senior partner in marriage even-though it does not apply in offices, the senate or the state cabinet.
To consider the issue of authority, let’s look at what Jesus said in John 14: 10. He said he has the authority of his father which is almighty God to speak. Therefore, his authority is partly derived by delegation by someone (God) who has natural authority as he was recognized as supreme- that is to say one having final authority and influence in the affairs of men. A man husband has natural authority by custom and evolution to act and decide for his family while his wife has delegated authority from one who has natural authority which is her husband. One is first called (delegated authority) the second was sent as a helpmate (also delegated as such in that capacity).
In summary, authority of a man is derived by: Natural control or influence in his family which has origin in Jewish and African and custom, culture and tradition and by natural evolution and oral history. It’s also by delegated authority by God. See the book of Deuteronomy 6:6-7 which instructs men to teach members of his household.
Authority of a man can be summarized as follows:
1. Delegation: God created man, then he said, ‘I will make a helper meet for him’ which means man first, and then the second person (a woman) is a help mate. ‘Help meet’ means, she’ll help you when you meet her, not from afar.
2. Enablement (physical and material support) from family and friends
3. Knowledge (life skills and general knowledge of customs, values, norms and ethics in the society – as a teacher to the family.
4. His authority is a legal authority.
5. His moral authority which strengthens his legal authority. Moral authority is derived from his personality, moral character, integrity and role as a provider.
6. Age (if he is older)
Only wives occasionally deny these legal and moral authorities of a man, but the general society do not. His powers as a man which enable him to exercise authority include:
i. Consensus (includes his wife consent and family/family agreement)
ii. Personal financial resources/assets
iii. Natural abilities to do things
iv. Personal power and charm which is unique to him.
Unfortunately a handful of women deny this authority thereby losing their own authority.
5.2 MORAL AUTHORITY OF A FATHER
A man is expected to provide for his household including his wife, children and other dependents, as the leader (head) and to cater for their needs/welfare. A man is therefore in a moral position to exercise authority (natural) and delegated (by God) and his moral (natural) position is strengthen by his integrity and strong character and obedience. A wife’s contribution is a support to her husband and family, not a direct responsibility.
5.3 AUTHORITY OF WIFE AND MOTHER
It’s a delegated authority by her husband to act on his behalf. A wife has a legal authority as an agent to her husband (agency law) and by God (as a help-mate) to control or influence things strengthened by her strong personality, character, discipline, obedience and position and responsibilities (moral authority) as a spouse. Her authority takes effect after wedding and it’s higher than those of other family and extended family members and friends in a nuclear family in terms of decision making in a nuclear family set up.
Her power is derived from:
i. Consensus (family support, community agreement)
ii. Intrinsic ability to do things as expected shown by output.
iii. Resources if she brings it to the table.
iv. Natural beauty and charm (intrinsic) to attract.
According to Kareem Ekamordi, A woman has a delegated authority – as district from natural authority of a man as head of family. (Instagram page/handle of Kareem Ekamordi, 2023)
In summary, Authority of a wife and mother is derived as follows:
i. Enablement (support from family and friends)
ii. Knowledge (life skills, education)
iii. Delegated authority by her husband to act on his behalf; she takes charge in his absence, takes responsibility as directed which ought not to be countered by extended family members or friends.
iv. Moral authority which emanates from her moral character, respect, obedience, discipline, and natural influence which she has as a help mate.
v. Natural responsibility as a mother, which is legal because she is created for that purpose only that her husband exercises overriding controls in times of disagreement.
vi. By agency law: she is a natural agent of her husband.
What she has is both delegated and legal authority.
A wife’s power which is needed to exercise authority is derived from:
i. Consensus (people including her husband, family friends, church approval/community approval, county court etc.)
ii. Financial resources – if she bring it to the table
iii. Innate ability/intrinsic ability to do thing such as cooking
iv. Her natural beauty and charm to attract,
v. Her use of subterfuge to get what she wants.
5.4 MORAL AUTHORITY IN LEADERSHIP
As a leader, according to Stephen R. Covey, one is expected to have moral authority, that is sound moral character, discipline and be dependable to enable him help others to find their voices. He is expected to have integrity and keep to his promises. Strong moral authority strengthens one’s legal authority derived from his official position (e.g. Board chairman, state governor etc.) A leader without moral authority is a tyrant, not a good leader.
5.5 WHAT DOES THE BIBLE TEACH ABOUT MORAL AUTHORITY OF A HUSBAND AND FATHER?
A husband is a head of his wife Ephesian 5:21-23. Bible compares the love of a man for his wife to the love of Christ for the church. A man ought to love his wife as Christ loves the church. Bible compares the relationship marriage between a man and his wife with the relationship between a man (Christ) and the church (bride). Therefore, a man is the head of his wife just as Christ is the head of the Church. Though we are joint-heirs with him of the grace of God, yet is he the first among all creations and the head of the church, ordained by God.
Christ leadership and authority are derived from:
1. Enablement: prophets and disciples that re-affirm his position as Christ which means savior.
2. His strong personality, integrity, moral character and position/responsibility as head of the church (moral authority)
3. Also derived from being God’s elect as a savior (delegation)
4. His knowledge of the word of God (Theology) and other disciplines
His power in is derived from:
i. His intrinsic natural ability to do things e.g. teaching, healing, performing miracles.
ii. The resources of the church.
iii. People who honor him as Lord and savior (messiah)
In like manner in marriage, placing it side-by-side, a man’s authority as stated above is derived from:
i. Enablement from family (own family) and friends who contributed to the marriage and are physically present.
ii. God’s delegation
iii. Personality, strong moral character and integrity and position or responsibility as head of family.
iv. In some cases, knowledge.
Therefore, according to the scripture, a man should guide members of his family and show them the true path to follow both in terms of God’s commandments. This is in line with Jewish customs as well as African customs, culture and values.
The subject of submission has already been discussed earlier. Eph 5:21-25, 1 Peter 3: 1.
In summary, a Man has legal authority in a family to teach, instruct, correct, reprove and guide members of his family and his authority is partly derived from his moral authority which strengthens that legal authority.
Reflections:
In the absence of a husband (widowhood, single parenthood) the natural and legal control falls on the mother/survivor. She has authority to control and decide for the children within what is legally allowed. For divorcees, natural control and responsibility still resides with the father. Therefore, he takes responsibilities/control of the children only but not the wife.
For single mothers of children who have fathers that accepted responsibility, the legal and natural control and responsibility for the upkeep of the child resides with the father. Nevertheless, the mother still exercises her natural (legal) responsibilities (authority), but the overriding legal control should reside with the father (for example, in terms of choosing a child’s name, school, career and marriage partner (consent) etc. like stated in the introduction, all these are normal things but occasionally mother (only her) contests or challenges a man’s family authority as a father. Thus, it’s important we reflect on these and ensure that we all are part of creation of an orderly and civilized society that we all will be proud of.
But if the woman (mother) has a legal custody of the child granted by a court or as mutually agreed by both parties, it is imperative that she (or as may be directed by a competent authority of court, welfare department) grants access to the children to the father on a routine basis so that the father can see his children physically and bond with them and play his role. In the same vein, if the father has legal custody of the (children) it’s also imperative that he (or as may be directed by a competent authority) grants access to the children to the mother routinely. All these reduces mental tension and disconnect that occasionally causes violent backlash and social disharmony that leaves a sour taste in the mouth. Since both party exercises some form of natural control and responsibility including God’s given responsibilities, it’s therefore the responsibility of both the father and mother to take responsibility for their children in the best way they can. In a normal family setting, a wife and mother’s financial contribution should be a support to their husband, but we know that things are not always normal even if we wanted it to be normal because of unforeseen circumstances.
In a situation whereby a woman takes more responsibilities usually financial responsibilities than the man, she would expect higher control and influence because it appears that a man’s control is mostly derived from his responsibilities/duties. Unfortunately, control (authority) is derived not only from responsibility but from multiple sources as enumerated at the beginning (see previous texts or sources of authority) such as:
1. Custom, culture and evolution (natural area of authority of a man)
2. Delegation (societal norms and order)
3. Knowledge (skills, education)
4. Moral authority (personality, character and integrity)
5. Age (if he is older)
Often, a wife questions or challenges her husband’s especially in a monogamous family but not so much so in a polygamous family. Unfortunately, as mentioned earlier a lot of women losses their own authority including her authority over her husband’s estates in a bid to undermine her husband’s authority and the result is resentment and heartbreak.
Another pertinent issue is that of punishing a wife with beating as a form of reproof or punishment for an offense. Society discountenances beating a woman as a method of punishment or correction merely on the ground that she is a woman, making her look sacred. Her biological father could beat her if she misbehaves, likewise her mother elder, brother or auntie. But once it’s a man husband, beating her becomes a taboo. Thus, it becomes more like a question of who did it, not of principle. One can view it from the perspective of not being proper or very appropriate to correct an adult with beating using cane or hand. So, the society uses punishment like imprisonment, hard labor, community service etc. as a suitable method of punishment for an adult. One can therefore refrain from beating a wife on the ground that she is an adult. Because that’s where the society begins to question a man’s legal authority even though we all know that he has natural control and legal authority.
Another suitable means of correction is reproof or what they call reprimand in office environment. Another (3rd) method could involve withdrawal of benefits in the form of rewards or praise or commendation as a punishment for wrongdoing though it has its own limitations essentially because of divorce/resignation. Like in management, the power to reward (with resources of the company, organization or institution) and the power to punish go hand in hand. It’s the management level that rewards that also exercises the power to punish erring personnel. Therefore, removing the power to punish a habitual offender from management perspective should also go with removing the power to reward a performance. And if one can’t reward then he can’t punish and if one can’t punish then he can’t reward. A lot of women would say, if she can’t respect you (man) then stop providing for her (as a punishment). By doing that, the man has exercised his power.
Therefore, one who receives reward (salary, fringe benefits, commendation, approval, testimonials etc.) should have the humility and respect to acknowledge the manager (head, leader, teacher’s) legal and moral authority to correct, praise or punish and not stiffen his neck when he is been reproved in order not to cause social distortions. In the same vein, teachers (as heads, leaders, instructors) retains the prerogative (power) to praise, commend and sometimes reward leaners (with awards, commendation letters, testimonials etc.) even if they can’t give money as rewards. They should have legal and moral authority to correct, discipline, reproof or punish erring members of the institution, while students are expected to humble themselves to accept correction, reprove, and sometimes punishment depending on the extent of what is allowed by law prevailing in a country or in the institution. This is how to maintain societal order and equilibrium and the delicate cord that hold us together as a family, society and country.
6.0 RECOMMENDATIONS AND CONCLUSION
i. Every man to his own household: to correct, discipline and train his family members in good conduct.
ii. Wife to respect, affirm and acknowledge the moral and legal authority of a husband and father to correct, instruct and guide his family. She needs to affirm his masculinity and strength so as to motivate and get the best for him, her family and the society at large Hirach Elizabeth said and I quote, ‘Godly man ( (men with moral character and integrity) we need you to lead and bring strength to your community and family. You can change culture.’ (, Instagram page, 2023) That’s how to affirm a man’s authority and make him psychologically strong and motivated to carter and stand for the family.
iii. In exercising authority as a husband, beating your wife may not be acceptable, not because she is a woman, but because she is an adult. Any other descent way other than beating is usually more tolerated to the general public.
iv. Children to respect the authority of their father as he is also acting on God’s instruction to him to teach and guide members of his household.
v. Men need moral authority (character, integrity, discipline) to exercise legal authority (position and responsibility as husband and father).
vi. A man needs power to exercise authority: he should do his work well and hold some money, assets and external influence from the people he knows and those that know him.
vii. Men to appreciate the supportive role of a wife in a family and affirm her authority as a spouse and partner in progress.
CONCLUSION
A husband has authority to correct, discipline, teach and guide members of his household including his wife and children. Moral authority is derived from his own character, integrity, discipline, and obedience to God’s laws/commandments and laws of his country/community. His power is derived from the people, family members including extended family members, wife and children who need to affirm his position for him to have the motivation to do his job as a husband and father. External control by way of undue influence over his family members can be a provocation and an act of aggression in his area of control. And he has the right to resist such external aggression and provocation. Just like in a country where you have saboteurs and disloyal figures that undermine or bring down a government, family members can join forces with external hostile elements to bring down a family. Such family units as a microcosm are capable of being defeated and the result is dislocation, disequilibrium, disintegration and misalignment.
REFERENCES
1. Holy Bible: Deut 6:6-7, Eph 5:21-23, Prov 22:6, 1 Peter 3:1-2
2. Kareem Ekamordi Instagram page, 2023
3. Stephen R Covey, The 8th Habit, Stephen Covey Company, UK, 2023
4. Chukwuemeka DD Ogbodo, Capability theory, NG Scroll International, Vol. 6 No 2 2021.
5. Interview of Mrs. Fashina A, SSA Business Centre, Lagos Nigeria
6. Hirach Elizabeth, Instagram page , 2023
7. Chukwuemeka Desmond Ogbodo, ‘Value: Dating, Relationship and Marriage,’ New Generation Scroll International, page
8. Chukwuemeka DD Ogbodo, ‘Value: Dating, Relationship and Marriage,’ New Generation Scroll International, linkedin page
Reflections and insights:
NG Scroll International: Vol. 8 No. 4 Oct-Dec, 2023.
