Coping With Divorce

14/05/2024

https://sisilawyer.com.ng/5-tips-for-navigating-the-emotions-of-divorce/

Are you dealing with emotions of divorce? It's time to discover 5 tips for navigating the emotions of separation and divorce in this article.

19/04/2024

Ready to invest in your marriage and create a lasting, loving partnership. Join our Facebook group where we share practical tips, engage in meaningful discussions, and provide support to help heal and strengthen marriages. Let's journey towards a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship together.

If your request is not approved its because you have not yet answered the questions.

09/04/2024

WHEN YOUR MARRIAGE FEELS DEAD
When people get married, they often buy into several common misconceptions about marriage. Many
of us have been made to believe that getting married is supposed to always have a "…and they lived
happily ever after" narrative. When that doesn't happen, we blame it on our choices, also known as
spouses, and seldom accept that a marriage is built by two people and not bought off a supermarket
shelf.
There is nothing wrong with expecting to live happily ever after, but… if only this were true, if we do
not put in the effort! Just like cars, marriages have "warning lights", and we need to recognize them
before things go all wrong. Several common warning signs tell that a marriage is in trouble. The truth
is successful marriages take a lot of hard work. Both parties in the relationship must take the decision
to identify issues and unacceptable behaviour before they become serious problems. It isn't the duty
of one or the other. Neither is it healthy to stay in an unhappy marriage using the children as a prop.
A lot of the chaos in marriage is because issues have not been attended to before they become worse.
It is possible to have many years of occasional happiness but not be truly happy in a marriage. There
are times when some good news knit a couple closer and many more when they cannot stand the
sight of each other. It is never too late to truly create a marriage that will make one happy. No two
persons are totally compatible, but a sincere effort at making your marriage work will strengthen it.
As Leo Tolstoy says what counts is how you deal with incompatibility and not the fact of being
incompatible.

From Saturday 20th April and twice every week I shall be sharing insights from my e-book titled When your marriage feels dead. Have you downloaded the e-book yet?

Want to learn coping strategies for when your marriage is suffering? Join the group on Facebook

08/03/2024

What would life be like without
Women?

13/02/2024

STOP 🛑 THE ABUSE

Abuse is usually hushed until the victim starts to show signs of mental disorientation. It usually starts with a desire to control. It does not breed anything good for the family.

That’s why we are inviting women to take part in this research.

Yes o, na research. This will help all those in the medical and counselling chain to help those who go through the trauma of abuse.

Share this post if you would rather not tag those who need it, but whatever you do, save a soul.

10/02/2024

Let’s be honest, can a man who wants polygamy tell his fiancé (not yet married) so?
Abeg Relationship Experts let’s chat o

01/02/2024

MY STORY

I played so much at school my teachers didn't believe I would pass my ’o’ level exams. I wasn't interested in school and simply wanted to investigate and poke my nose into many things that were considered not suitable for my age. So in my third year, I led a group of us to learn to smoke ci******es. We refused to give the girls in the class above us so they squealed to the school authorities. We almost got suspended.

When I got into university, I enjoyed law very much but still had a great yen for knowledge beyond books or college degrees so I headed for the library each day after classes to do my assignments and read up whatever needed to be done.

Evenings were meant for relaxation. I leant how to smoke with puffs coming out of my nostrils, I leant how to drive a car and how to party nonstop. I has such a good time that I look at troublesome youths and understand there need to play. Only their play is high class. I had many friends until some of them realised that I passed my exams while they had to resit.

I learnt to reach a compromise in my relationship with play and study. I studied in the afternoon and played till I dropped off to sleep afterwards. I wasn't and I'm still not one to study at night.

Passing exams was important to me but playing was just as important. I learnt to make them accommodate each other. Beyond my basic needs of food, shelter, warmth etc was a need to acquire knowledge and information that weren't of the nature of a college degree.

So it should be in our relationships. We must learn how to built systems that work themselves with our relationships. For me the need to pass exams and have a career was unassailable but the allure of adventure and knowledge had to leant how to sit beside my need for a career. One wasn't more important than the other. Indeed today one complements the other.

What is the core value that needs to complement your need for an abundant relationship? What is your story.

Share nau!!

Let’s learn from each other.

Relationships are made to make us happy. Sometimes we suppress the values we need to release to make our relationships happy.

So have you wondered what is that value that you have deep in your soul that needs to be cultivated beyond your basic needs of food, clothing, shelter and love?

How do our core values deepen our relationships? How do we reach into our souls to dig them out to enrich our relationship mastery?

In my Abundance Letters I discuss these issues from time to time and I invite you to subscribe. It’s free for now and will always be till I make it available at a price .

Sisi Lawyer

01/02/2024

MY STORY

I played so much at school my teachers didn't believe I would pass my ’o’ level exams. I wasn't interested in school and simply wanted to investigate and poke my nose into many things that were considered not suitable for my age. So in my third year, I led a group of us to learn to smoke ci******es. We refused to give the girls in the class above us so they squealed to the school authorities. We almost got suspended.

When I got into university, I enjoyed law very much but still had a great yen for knowledge beyond books or college degrees so I headed for the library each day after classes to do my assignments and read up whatever needed to be done.

Evenings were meant for relaxation. I leant how to smoke with puffs coming out of my nostrils, I leant how to drive a car and how to party nonstop. I has such a good time that I look at troublesome youths and understand there need to play. Only their play is high class. I had many friends until some of them realised that I passed my exams while they had to resit.

I learnt to reach a compromise in my relationship with play and study. I studied in the afternoon and played till I dropped off to sleep afterwards. I wasn't and I'm still not one to study at night.

Passing exams was important to me but playing was just as important. I learnt to make them accommodate each other. Beyond my basic needs of food, shelter, warmth etc was a need to acquire knowledge and information that weren't of the nature of a college degree.

So it should be in our relationships. We must learn how to built systems that work themselves with our relationships. For me the need to pass exams and have a career was unassailable but the allure of adventure and knowledge had to leant how to sit beside my need for a career. One wasn't more important than the other. Indeed today one complements the other.

What is the core value that needs to complement your need for an abundant relationship? What is your story.

Share nau!!

Let’s learn from each other.

Relationships are made to make us happy. Sometimes we suppress the values we need to release to make our relationships happy.

So have you wondered what is that value that you have deep in your soul that needs to be cultivated beyond your basic needs of food, clothing, shelter and love?

How do our core values deepen our relationships? How do we reach into our souls to dig them out to enrich our relationship mastery?

In my Abundance Letters I discuss these issues from time to time and I invite you to subscribe. It’s free for now and will always be till I make it available at a price .

https://sisilawyer.com.ng/newsletter

Sisi Lawyer

The Abundance Letters:We seek to help you find abundance in or out of marriageSubscribe

29/01/2024

Woman: My husband committed adultery and I have decided I want a divorce.

Lawyer: Have you had sexual in*******se with him since you found out?

Woman: Yes, there was so much begging that day so after they all left, in what we thought was reconciliation, I slept with him but I woke up feeling dirty. I can’t cope. I want out on the grounds of divorce.

Lawyer: Madam you can no longer ask for divorce on those facts.

By sleeping with your husband after you discovered his adultery, you are assumed to have condoned it.

Don’t condone what you can’t take.

Sunscriber to my Abundance Newsletter to get more information.

The Abundance Letters:We seek to help you find abundance in or out of marriageSubscribe

28/01/2024

SICKLE CELL IN MARRIAGE

A couple of weeks ago it was widely reported by a number of online and offline newspapers that the Anambra State House of Assembly had made it mandatory for intending couples to show evidence of their Sickle Cell blood tests, to ensure that carriers of the sickle ell or blood incompatible couples do not celebrate marriages within the state. It actually criminalizes those who celebrate such marriages and imposes a prison sentence on them and those who solemnise such.

The law known as Sickle Cell Disease Control and Eradication Repeal sought to eradicate sickle cell anaemia in Anambra State and set those living with it free from all kinds of oppression, abuse and exploitation. https://punchng.com/anambra-assembly-passes-law-banning-marriage-between-sickle-cell-carriers/

While it has been hailed as a laudable act on the part of the State Assembly, I wonder if the passing of the law has been well thought out.

No one can legislate love. It is a very trying time both for sickle cell carriers as well as their family but without counselling, education and awareness, the law is bound to exist only in the statute books. The Law failed to check couples who live together outside of marriage and have children in such unions.
This law has applicability only in Anambra State and so couples may visit the next state for their statutory marriages. The law it appears wishes to capitalise on the celebration of traditional marriages. This may reduce the celebration of traditional marriages or their deferment.
It is doubtful that the State House of Assembly can make laws about marriages as it is within the purview of the Federal Government to make laws about the celebration of marriages; this is to ensure uniformity in our marriage laws.
Fundamental Human Rights that are contained in our constitution, in particular, the right to enjoyment of life, right to freely associate with persons of one’s choice, appears to have been infringed with the passing of that law,
Just like the Osu System, which legalisation has failed to abolish, the love or relationship of two persons who carry the sickle cell traits cannot be abolished by legalisation.
The Nigerian constitution declares every person free and equal before the law. Therefore, all Nigerians are constitutionally entitled to fundamental human rights, including the right to freedom from discrimination.

While the pain associated with sickle cell anaemia both for the sufferer and the entire family is enormous, it begets the question if such a couple must have children at all, and if they choose to, are there not enough genetic investigations to tell from conception if the foetus carries the trait?

The current law against marriage between two sickle cell carriers is another law that may gather dust in the law books if it is not promoted in the form of social education and community sensitisation.

Share your thoughts on the possible social as well as legal consequences of this law. Would you have voted for or against it

Credits: Sisi Lawyer on Linked in in 2019

27/01/2024

Every lawyer who educates you about divorce is a Divorce Coach.

We that are certificated teach the emotional side of divorce in addition.

26/01/2024

What’s your definition of a successful marriage? Is it one that was long despite being unfulfilling or one that …..(fill in the blanks?)

By the way have you listened to my podcast on this same matters? The link is in comments.

Listen up and let me know what you think about what a successful marriage is

19/01/2024

Shut down the inner critic. What others think about you is their headache. Don’t allow others judge you.

Have you listened to my podcast?

Listen to the most recent episode of my podcast: When You Feel Judged https://anchor.fm/sisi-lawyer/episodes/When-You-Feel-Judged-e2eh932

16/01/2024

FORGIVENESS CAN BE A WEAPON

When you have conflict with another person, there is a tendency for people, who know about it, to encourage you to forgive the person. And that is true!!

When we feel betrayed, we lose our peace. We plan how to get even with that person. We wring our hands in an effort to hold you back from hitting at the person.

Conflict is challenging. Entreaties to forgive that person tear at your heart like a dagger. They do not seem to understand how you feel. Calm down!

Truth be told forgiving that person is not the first thing you should do.

It takes two to tango….you know that phrase. In conflict, you betrayed yourself. You allowed that person to steal your peace. You must first forgive yourself.

Self forgiveness does these for you
1. Restores your peace and improves your mental health
2. Makes you learn from your mistakes
3. It can help you overcome anxieties, guilt and pain
4. It makes amends with whomever you're forgiving, even if it's yourself

C.R Strachan wrote :
Forgiveness has nothing to do with absolving a criminal of his crime. It has everything to do with relieving oneself of the burden of being a victim—letting go of the pain and transforming oneself from victim to survivor.

This is your year of abundance. Forgive yourself so you can forgive them all.

What does holding on to hurt do for you? Let us have a chat about this self-forgiveness.

Join my Abundance Letters and let's make this the greatest year.

In abundance
Sisilawyer