https://selar.com/m/themoneytherapist

Olubunmi The-Money-Therapist, Igbajo, Oyo (2026)

05/04/2026

“Uncle Kay, you never give me something for Easter, o!” is a statement that is as simple as it is complex.

On the surface, it is very simple:
The transfer of ownership of a particular “something” has not happened yet.

On a deeper level, though:

- There is the assumption that something must be given.

- That something must be given by Uncle Kay - because he is older, seems wealthier or came from the city to the village.

- That something must be released because it is a festive season - or because “na me first ask you.”

If a budget had been created for this season before now, the expenses are easier to absorb. If the reverse were the case, though, Uncle Kay would:

- Make the arduous trip to visit with family.

- Be unable to rest while there, as his wisdom would be sought on every decision to be made.

- Intermittently check for work emails - so there are no Monday evening surprises.

- Pay the exorbitant fuel cost or inflated transport fare for the trip back - since the transporters know that he has no choice but to make the trip.

- Arrive at his base as tired as (or more tired than) he was before he set out.

And then in addition to all these, Uncle Kay could very well have expended whatever is left of the savings he managed to put together in Q1.

He does all these because it is expected of a “big bros” from the city to drop something for his younger ones when he comes visiting. Then there are Uncle Kay’s seemingly poorer uncles and “wives” in the village that he just may need, should he decide to run for political office in future.

What Uncle Kay may need to hear from us is this:

- Those younger ones may have more disposable income than he does.

- The uncles and wives may not be dressed as nicely but that doesn't make him wealthier than they are.

- The “something” he distributes is often seen as “awoof” - an unexpected extra for pleasure rather than an investment opportunity.

- Another person resident in the village, in diaspora or just wealthier than he is may be preferred for political representation by the time he is ready for it.

Here's the point in all these…

- Do not neglect to take care of yourself and your future as you look out for your extended family members. That they look poorer doesn't mean you aren't the poorer one.

- Have a budget for your giving. Your age, perceived social status or the fact that they were the first to ask shouldn't be the only motivation.

- Hold money conversations with family members rather than merely give them money. Your wisdom and exposure could help them better invest what they already have such that your own savings are protected.

- Give because there is a need, not merely because it is a festive season or because you hope your giving will count for you in future.

Now, we already know when the next festive season will roll by, don't we? Let's plan for it together here: selar.com/planwithme. In doing so, we'll win you honour in the village without jeopardising your wealth-building journey.

Reach out, alright?

We'll meet up to ten times and for 30 minutes each time. When we do, we'll draw up a plan to solve identified money problems.At the end of the first session, you will know where to begin with addressing those money pains.The Pl...

04/04/2026

Many of these wealth-building habits are not as complicated as they initially seem, you know?

Take saving, for example. You only need to set it up once and you are free of that responsibility for life. Yes. It's as easy as that:

- Choose the platform you want to use.

- Choose which bank account the money should be picked from.

- Choose what day of the week, month or year on which the money should be picked.

- Choose how much should be picked from your account.

- (You remember this joke, don't you?)

Honestly, it's as simple as that. You get to choose every single thing about your savings. Nobody forces anything on you.

The same is true for budgeting:

- Start by writing down how much you spend every day.

- Do this for a week and write down the total amount.

- Multiply that total by 4 or 5, depending on how many weeks there are in the month you are budgeting for (March showed itself, didn't it? Lol.).

- Just like that, you have an estimate of how much you need for one month.

- Write down how much you need per month on a sheet of paper.

- Next to it, write down how much money usually comes in for you in a typical month.

- The difference between the two amounts (what you need and what you have) immediately tells you how your month is going to be.

- Next, use the figures from your expense-tracking exercise (Step 1 above) to allocate certain amounts of money to specific departments of your life.

-

Surprised?
That's how simple budgeting can be.

Now let's do the same for investments:

- Decide on a money allocation formula - what percentage of your income should go towards saving, investments, spending, giving, etc.

- Send the allocation for investments into an Emergency Fund.

- With your Emergency Fund in place, you are ready to invest.

- Pick 2 or 3 things that you buy regularly, find out the companies that produce them and buy their shares.

- Next, pick 3 or 4 more companies that you know to be great companies and buy their shares, even if you don't use their products regularly or at all.

- Begin with sending N1,000 or $5 every month to each of these companies.

- After they have all received your 'awoof' once, begin sending money to each company every month until you have 10 shares in each company.

- Next, increase to 50 shares of each company.

- Afterwards, increase the number of shares to 100.

- Etc. (No this time. Lol.)

Truly, these things are not as difficult as they sound.

Like we said of savings, there are apps that can automate the process for you. You just put in the details once and it runs on autopilot. Then as you come across more information, you can begin to choose whether to remain with a company or move your money to another company instead. The main thing is that you will be moving money that you have kept there over the years - not money that you are hoping to have when the next inflow comes in.

Don't be intimidated by all the big grammar, alright? These habits and decisions need not be postponed any further. You can ask questions here: selar.com/twmgroup, too.

As you encounter words that ‘buga’ you, just smile, copy those words, phrases or paragraphs and bring them to the group. We will explain to you in very simple English (or Yorùbá, sef) and you can do ‘ntọọ’ to the oppressor English. Lol.

This is a miniature version of the ThinkWithMe© service that retains the main elements of the service. The meeting times will have to be collectively decided rather than individually chosen. Subs...

03/04/2026

“Let’s say it the way it is, Madam! Don't get me angry. I remember that since as far back as 1975, they have been telling us that this country will get better. Look at everything happening. Is this one getting better? Can we just say the truth for once?”

“I understand you, Sir. Honestly, I do. It's just that I am not permitted to speak negatively about my life.”

When we parted ways, I made sure to add something extra to the fare. This man probably had a family to cater to and could do with the unexpected gift. Plus, I have a charity budget, so that gift was planned, though I didn't know ahead of time who would receive it.

You see…

Optimism does not mean denying the facts. It doesn't mean lying about the situation. Rather, it is a decision to choose positivity in spite of what you see.

In the first place, optimism isn't needed when everything is going great. It only becomes useful or visible in perilous times. Optimism acknowledges the precarious nature of the situation at hand without giving up on what was believed during rosy times.

If, for example, you believed when you had a hefty bank account that you could take on the world, why switch to the other extreme? How about you adjust your plans without giving up on or speaking evil of the goal?

Truth be told, your goal is still attainable. The plan may need to be slightly or elaborately modified. However, we shouldn't discard the goal. Neither should we keep at the plans but suck out the energy that will cause them to materialise.

When I was speaking with the person I referred to above, for example, I wasn't denying the fact that he was having it tough. Neither was I comparing my own experiences with his to find out who (or prove that I) was finding things tougher. That position would not have been beneficial to either of us. However, if we compared notes on strategies each person had adopted to avoid or better handle some hassles, we would each leave the conversation healthier all-round.

Remember: Money is first made in the mind before it shows up in the bank. This is why you must choose what type of conversations to initiate or join in on. Any conversation that hands your mind the wrong raw materials should be avoided, even if you have to pay to do so.

After Juba hitched a ride with some friends to an out-of-state function, for example, and observed the negativity they unconsciously exhibited, he chose to return by public transportation. That way, he can plug his ears and listen to an audiobook - a thing he tried unsuccessfully to do on the trip out.

That constant swing between optimism and pessimism is actually slowing you down on the journey to wealth. It's like shutting down your machines intermittently in a production factory. Some things will still be produced but more could've been produced - in the same time and with the same human and material resources that full capacity production would've taken.

Let's discuss strategies for navigating these times without denying the pains that even a blind man can see. We could also talk about how to politely but firmly extricate yourself from those conversations that leave you deflated each time. Here: selar.com/thinkwithme.

The mind produces what it believes. Let's leverage optimism to feed the mind with what we would rather it produced for us.

At that point when you feel like you don't understand your money anymore, come right here to book this service.In a 60-minute virtual meeting, we'll explore alternative ways to solve those money problems making you uncomfortable.

02/04/2026

When I asked how many more clients he wanted to acquire by December 2026, Ian (not real name) said 10.

Then I asked how long he'd been in business and how many clients he had acquired in that time. To this, he replied that he had acquired 10 clients since the business began about 18 months before. On hearing this, his goal seemed realistic to me.

Similarly, when discussions centered around whether I would increase the number of applications to put out this new season, I responded that I wouldn't. Though I eventually sent out one more than the ten applications I committed to, I also knew not to increase the target yet.

You see…

Our emotions are crucial to fulfilling our goals, financial and otherwise. If the emotions do not support the goals, we would hardly win with those goals.

Raising a bar high stretches us but also increases the risk that we would abandon the attainment of our goals. If there isn't a sufficiently compelling reason to push through, we are likely to jettison our goals on the strength of how we feel in the pursuit of them. This is why we must pay attention to our emotions as we pursue our goals.

Ian can leverage the skills, lessons and networks that he has acquired over the last 18 months to attract new clients in half the time it took to attract the first 10. And though I have a different focus for April, I still would stick to 10 as a target number of applications if I were to do a repeat of last month. Yes, I exceeded my target 11/10. However, it is wise to wait until I attain a level of ease with this target before increasing it.

What are your own financial goals this quarter? Can you review them against what you accomplished last quarter? Or, in the last 6 months? Do your goals seem attainable? Or, do you risk a stab at your identity if by the end of Q2 2026, you haven't done a quarter (pun intended) of what you intended ("tautology" not intended. Lol.)

If you already have a documented plan, we can review it together here: selar.com/walkwithme. We'll acknowledge your current capabilities and only marginally stretch your goals. That way, we protect your heart from believing the lie, “I never attain my goals no matter how hard I try.”

A little more attention to realism could be the fuel you need to stay on course and take on greater mountains down the line.

I will be your companion over the next 90 days as you implement your documented plans.We'll have fun along the way, taking the sting out of it as you become the new you that must emerge within those 90 days.

31/03/2026

Henry's head is bowed. But, he is smart enough to choose which thoughts to permit.

You see…
Back in the days, he would entertain every thought that pops in his mind. He genuinely believed he had no control over what thoughts made it in and how long each thought lingered.

Since 2026 began, though, Henry made a decision to stand guard at the entryway of his mind and choose what gets in. Having learnt that the mind simply produces output for each person based on whatever raw materials it is given per time; Henry drew up a plan to:

1. Filter what makes it in.

2. Discard what shouldn't.

3. Quickly interrupt whatever escapes his filters.

So, though his head was bowed, it wasn't in dejection. It was in introspection. He even forgave himself for all those times when he acted based on his previous knowledge level and patted himself on the back for finally stepping up.

Now, here's what's going through Henry's mind...

1. The prices of goods and services have gone up lately and could go up even further.

2. This situation is not exclusive to him, so there's no point getting angry with any individual or government.

3. No one and no government has promised to single him out to prosper him either.

4. Henry must therefore figure out what to do to not just survive these times but thrive into the future.

Convinced that there's always an ethical way forward, here's what Henry decided. He will:

1. Ask within a few neighbourhood WhatsApp groups for who might like to carpool.

2. Purchase health insurance so he doesn't have to spend out-of-pocket on his family's health needs.

3. Increase his allocation towards family feeding to accommodate more fruits and vegetables, fortifying their bodies further against sicknesses.

4. Set up a direct debit - from his salary account into a savings vehicle that gives him more interest than his regular bank account.

5. Now only eat out every other Sunday rather than weekly as a family.

6. Structure his other skills and abilities into a business or a group of services such that he can bill for them.

7. Devote his evenings to acquiring additional financial knowledge - no more marking his emails/messages as read without actually reading them.

8. Show up a little more strategically than he used to, refraining from some gatherings and moving mountains in order to attend others.

9. Now conduct extended family meetings on Zoom or Meet rather than travel to the village every quarter.

10. Include Financial Literacy as an agenda for the family meetings so he can teach what he is learning to his family members, thereby reducing their exclusive dependency on him.

11. Speak to a senior colleague in a different department at work about how to position for a promotion and/or qualify for a salary increase.

12. Ahead of when the next rent is due, relocate his nuclear family to an environment with slightly better power supply, potentially reducing his electricity bill while increasing the quality of his environment and the calibre of his social network.

Well, now you know what Henry decided to begin doing this new quarter. Have you made your own decisions? Do you think better or decide faster when you are thinking alongside a very objective person? Here: selar.com/thinkwithme.

Life is in seasons. This season will give way to the next. Until it does, let's put up the anchors that will keep you steady, alright?

At that point when you feel like you don't understand your money anymore, come right here to book this service.In a 60-minute virtual meeting, we'll explore alternative ways to solve those money problems making you uncomfortable.

31/03/2026

As if carried by the air, the words: “I don't price; I decide” came to me.

I had been reflecting on how I relate with certain vendors and was reminded of my resolve not to price (interpret this as to negotiate prices down for) their goods or services.

A part of me feels like this group marks up their prices only marginally. So, asking for a discount will be unfair, particularly when I am aware of the power dynamics at play in the exchange.

Of course, this is not always the situation. For some, there's no acknowledgement or respect for any power dynamic. Rather, their pricing is based on perception of affordability. Look poor and you'll enjoy a lower price offer. Look rich and they feel a need to bill you for it. Lol.

So, “I don't price; I decide” is my way of protecting my emotions, my time and my pocket. When a good or service is offered, I check with myself: “How much am I willing to pay for this. Is this offer within range?” That's how I decide whether to pay for the item or not.

Of course, not all vendors are aware of my decision-making process. When I walk away, too, some resort to: “Haba, don't go like that, now? At least, you will say how much you want to pay and I will tell you whether I agree or not.”

For me, though, that style means:

- I have to spend more time on that conversation than I usually can afford.

- The vendor may just want to feel less guilt about marking up the price because of the way I look.

- I could go home or leave that conversation replaying the exchange in my mind and wondering whether I got the best price offer.

Hence, the vendor says, “Come and price it, now?” while I hear:

- “Come let me steal a little more of your time than I need, so that I can feel less guilt about cheating you.

- “Brace yourself, too, I would be leaving a deposit in your mind, amplifying the potential for or magnitude of buyer's remorse.

- “For, who are you to own the decision-making process that most people leave to my own marketing or bargaining antics?”
Lol.

So, what's the point of this conversation? Why am I sharing with you so elaborately about 5 words that came to me as I reflected earlier?

Well, I was hoping you would do the same.

With Q1 2026 ending today, it's a good time to think about your money relationship in relation to your engagement with others:

- What have you noticed is your goto decision-making style?

- Which money decision-style rejuvenates your emotions?

- Which depletes them?

- What should you try out in the new quarter to protect your money, time and emotions?

Should we do this together? Here: selar.com/thinkwithme.

Since money is first made in the mind, let's clear out all debris or silt from previous money conversations. That way, we provide the mind with the appropriate quality of raw materials to maximize the production of money for you.

At that point when you feel like you don't understand your money anymore, come right here to book this service.In a 60-minute virtual meeting, we'll explore alternative ways to solve those money problems making you uncomfortable.

30/03/2026

Let's talk about what Gracie did over the weekend…

1. She reflected on her goals for 2026 and looked at those she had earmarked for Q1.

2. Quietly, without any negotiation with anyone, she transferred the outstanding goals to Q2.

3. Then she took a pen to even that Q2 2026 list and began to do some housekeeping there.

You see…

Gracie got into 2026 determined to “have investments”. She had heard that it was important to “have some investments, no matter how little”, and promptly began to set aside some portion of her salary - labelling them “for investments” in her notebook.

Next, she transferred her investment allocation from her salary account to another one of her bank accounts. That way, she doesn't find herself telling “stories that touch” about her investment money. Gracie has now sent investment money to that account 3 times in 2026. Yet, she is unsatisfied and here's why.

Since she began sending money to her dedicated “for investment” bank account, there have only been deductions: SMS Alert fee, Quarterly Card Maintenance fee, a birthday greeting from her bank that she still got billed for, etc.

“It's not their fault,” she reasoned. “It's because the money is still available to them. Once I know how to get the money to increase like this ehn, they're not going to get one kobo from me.”

This dissatisfaction led her to attend a financial literacy session over the weekend. There Gracie learned, amongst other things, that some people had no business investing. At this declaration, she sat up straighter. “So, why have I been sending money to that account since January?”

Only a few minutes later, she learnt about the need to have an Emergency Fund in place before making any investments. That way, she doesn't need to dispose of her investments pre-maturely to attend to emergencies that arise.

“My dear Gracie, you will have to be content with a different label for your goal, o,” she said to herself. “What you have achieved is ‘have an allocation towards investments’ not ‘have investments’ and that's okay. Going forward, we would have to reallocate that money that has been accumulated towards building an Emergency Fund.”

Momentarily, she chuckled at the thought that slithered into her mind. “See how straight-faced you are? Who would guess what permutations and combinations are solving themselves inside this beautiful mind of yours?” Because, really, were a microphone placed in her mind such that the young man beside her could listen in, it would be difficult to reconcile her unfazed exterior with the activities going on within.

The knowledge of what to do and how had a calming effect on Gracie’s emotions such that she's now going into the new month and quarter with a little more gumption. Slate wiped clean, she is no longer angry with her bank for the indiscriminate deductions; neither is she feeling pressured about what to invest in. Rather, Gracie has settled on Money Market Mutual Funds as the place to park her Emergency Funds until she's done setting it up. In the meantime, she would just keep acquiring knowledge generally about investments.

What decisions or actions do you need to take in order to feel more centered? Is there a need to clear out any silt that has built up in your emotions? Here: selar.com/thinkwithme.

Money is first made in the mind. Let's unclog, rearrange, discard and strategically postpone some goals taking up space on your mind but which are not immediately (or ever will be) productive.

At that point when you feel like you don't understand your money anymore, come right here to book this service.In a 60-minute virtual meeting, we'll explore alternative ways to solve those money problems making you uncomfortable.

29/03/2026

Over the weekend, Franca thought about the 12 businesses she had initiated in the last 7 years.

Some business ideas were novel, others were traditional. There were some solutions she built a business around and infused her uniqueness into. There were others for which she didn't even bother with differentiation. She just went with the flow as soon as an opportunity for them knocked on her door. Some businesses were begun at the beginning of the new year. Others came along after the year had long begun. Some she ran exclusively and others she ran concurrently.

As she reflected over the weekend, she found herself thinking: “How many businesses would I have created by the end of this my one life? Which of these should I shut down already? Which should I focus on for longer?”

The truth she couldn't admit to anyone is that she was exhausted. Yes, she loved the “serial entrepreneur” title that people willingly placed on her, praising her for the same. However, deep down, she also knew that she wasn't doing all she was doing because she felt suited for the job.

When no one's looking, Franca would readily admit that she was driven more by fear than by a desire to solve problems. The script that played on her mind as she got into conversation with her clients or total strangers is, “Don't leave any money on the table. Remember how many mouths you have to feed?”

This is the reason Franca’s cake business client casually asks whether she knows any hall decorator for an upcoming event and fiam! She sets up Franca Decorations Ltd. Before the end of the week, she has engaged different people to design a suitable logo, set up a website, and begin creating content on the major social media platforms. Franca does all these even before she has checked for availability and secured that name with the Corporate Affairs Commission. For her, it's a “no time to waste time” situation on any and every business idea that pops in her head or is suggested to her.

Sadly, Franca’s current experience is that continues to borrow from one business to make some sunk costs into another. In doing so, neither business stands a good chance of survival. So, in a matter of months, Franca shuts down the business with lower cashflow in favour of the current cash cow. Then another season comes around, the cash cow has handed the baton over to another of her businesses and she immediately shuts it down.

If you're a Franca and happy with the state of your multiple businesses, then we'll leave it at that. If you aren't, though, here's what you may need to hear:

- The boldness to set up businesses around ideas as you encounter them is a gift.

- That you see business ideas easily is another gift you can monetize.

- The “serial entrepreneur” title is nothing if the entrepreneurial ventures aren't successful into the future.

- It is necessary to introduce strategy and structure before any irretrievable costs are sunk into the pursuit of any business idea.

- Above all, patience is key. Those businesses that have been shut down can be resurrected again and, this time, run with a long-term perspective.

Let's do this together here: selar.com/planwithme.

The world is lucky to have your combination of skills, brawn and speed of ex*****on. Let's introduce patience and structure to increase the possibility of longevity.

We'll meet up to five times over a 30-day period and for 30 minutes each time. When we do, we'll draw up a plan to solve identified money problems.At the end of the first session, you will know where to begin with addressing those money...

28/03/2026

That you can now drive past your favourite Suya Spot is no small feat. No, it isn't. In fact, I think that's a big deal.

Think of how long you've had that “addiction” and how much has gone into feeding it. Yes, it's only N2,000 per night, just N10,000 per week compared to your N2million per month salary.

How much is N10,000 compared to the N500,000 that you technically earn every week that you show up at work? If 50x what you spend on Suya each week is what you earn, why shouldn't you indulge? you reason.

When we think about the fact that you have consistently (I had to chuckle at this word) invested in this Suya man for 5 years now, though, it might become difficult to write this expense off as “my own guilty pleasure”. Because that's when you really see that it means N10,000 per week x 52 weeks x 5 years have gone into a Suya business that you don't own. Would you do the maths or should I?

The opposite scenario is also true, you know?

That you have now engaged a full-time driver to help you move around more easily is a big deal, too. Is this not the same you who hid under, “I have no problem driving myself around” to pile on avoidable stress? Now you cough out N120k every month but arrive at your meetings more composed, plus maximize travel time to get more work done.

The other day, you had enough presence of mind to remember an old friend and place a call immediately - a gesture that had you securing a $5million deal in principle before the conversation was over. Had you been driving yourself, you would've postponed calling until you arrived at your destination and missed the deal by the whiskers.

So, engaging a driver does represent a shift in your thinking about what's really affordable. And, that's a big deal.

You do realize, don't you, that even the decision to eat healthy is no small win? This is you whose carelessness in that regard used to cost you and your family financially and emotionally. Because there's the payment for consultation, medication and admission in some cases. But there's also the way everyone's life hovers around the sick one for those few days of ill-health each month. Suddenly, you can hardly remember when you last stepped into a hospital or even felt any physical discomfort.

Would you call that small?

The point here is:
You may have been conquering mountains without even realising it. Today, I want to draw your attention to the big deals you may not have noticed and invite you to celebrate yourself.

If you could do so much without a conscious strategy in place, imagine how much more is possible as a result of a money therapy session? Secure one here: selar.com/thinkwithme.

A beautiful lady should carry herself differently now that she knows she is beautiful.

At that point when you feel like you don't understand your money anymore, come right here to book this service.In a 60-minute virtual meeting, we'll explore alternative ways to solve those money problems making you uncomfortable.

Olubunmi The-Money-Therapist

05/04/2026

04/04/2026

03/04/2026

02/04/2026

31/03/2026

31/03/2026

30/03/2026

29/03/2026

28/03/2026

Address

Telephone

Website

Alerts

Contact The Practice

Shortcuts

Share

Category