02/11/2024
HEALING THE HURT
Friends, thank you for your support over the past few days. I appreciate your comments, voice notes, and love.
I have made some decisions about my future, which I’ll share with you tomorrow. Unfortunately, it’s the end of the road for me here.
I came to the UK with the tagline: family, farm & future - to help through the changes we face. My plans didn’t work out. In fact, I have devolved since being here.
I do remember at the beginning of my time here that there were pockets of hope and optimism, but that would become diminished throughout my journey. I am so grateful for the amazing connections I did make: Lee, Thissy and Herbert are soul family.
I also stayed connected with RA this whole time of being here in the UK. It was in Cornwall that the penny dropped for me about him being my . I met him before I left the USA, but it is also because of my that I left and now here in the UK. It’s a long story that I’ll share tomorrow.
My evolution throughout this time since leaving Australia was mostly learning about RA, and getting to know him and this twin flame connection between us. We have been coming in and out of each other’s reality this whole time; each time a new experience of coincidences and synchronicities. The connection is so intense, and bizarre. I like him alot, and he likes me.
But there is a block. I still might be getting catfished, and to be honest - I’m not even sure if he is human,
He could be a machine.
He could be AI.
But everyone keeps telling me he is real. And, so if he is real - I don’t think he knows how much pain he causes me. I don’t think it’s his fault, but yes - he’s a grown man, and should know.
It’s embarrassing who I have become with him over the time we’ve been connected. It’s not because of co-dependency, or clingyness, but a sheer desire for peace. He brings me peace, like I do for him…even though most of our connection has been turbulent and chaotic - I don’t blame him.
But, I won’t evolve further in this role as investigative journalist without him, and he knows this. The lessons for this path will be learned, and I will heal.
And maybe putting me first (for once) will be my greatest triumph of meeting him.
