03/12/2025
The Myth of the “Good Horse”
We hear it all the time.
“He’s such a good horse.”
“She’s so quiet.”
“He never argues, never spooks, never gives me trouble.”
But somewhere beneath those compliments, I often feel a familiar ache — because so much of what we call “good” in horses is simply shut-down.
A nervous system that has learned it’s safer not to speak.
A spirit that has discovered no one listens to its earliest whispers.
A body that has stopped trying because trying only brought pressure.
What if the horse who stands perfectly still isn’t at peace…
but in freeze?
What if the horse who “never misbehaves” isn’t calm…
but has surrendered?
We’ve been taught to praise compliance, even when it costs the horse their voice.
We mistake quietness for emotional regulation, when it’s often just a nervous system holding its breath.
A horse who doesn’t react isn’t always a regulated horse.
Sometimes they’re just a resigned one.
But here’s the gentle truth:
The bravest horses are often the ones who dare to say no.
The ones who flick an ear, shift a foot, walk away, or push back — not to challenge us, but to communicate.
Their “no” is not defiance.
It is honesty.
It is aliveness.
It is the raw courage to still believe their voice matters.
Instead of asking for “good,”
what if we asked for real?
What if we celebrated expression rather than suppression?
What if we honored the horse who speaks, instead of worshipping the one who has gone silent?
Because a horse who trusts you enough to express themselves
is far closer to peace
than the one who learned they shouldn’t try.
