Parents Partner Family Therapy

30/11/2025

30/11/2025

12/11/2025

“Is the amount of time spent plugged in affecting our ability to be emotionally and psychologically intimate?”

Gordon Neufeld was asked this question in an interview back in 2013. This is what he answered:

“The research is unequivocal and very clear in showing that the pursuit of digital intimacy is interfering with what children really need.

Digital intimacy is like cookies. Cookies have been around for years, but the issue is the same. We know what to do. When a child asks, "Can I have a cookie?" and it's 4:00 in the afternoon, we answer, "No, because it will spoil your appetite for dinner." It's the same with digital intimacy. It titillates the attachment circuitry, but it doesn't fulfill it. It's empty of the nurturance. But still, it's very appealing, and it's addictive. So, the problem really is just like cookies.

Digital intimacy ruins the appetite for the real thing. So, when kids are gaming or even when spouses are gaming, they lose their appetite for genuine intimacy. Kids lose their appetite for getting their intimacy needs, their hunger for significance and attachment, with the family, and it erodes the relationship between them and their parents.”

***

12 years has passed since and Gordon Neufeld is revisiting this subject in SCREEN SENSE: an online Saturday Symposium which takes place November 22, 2025 - 9:00 am – 3:00 pm PT.

Together with Deborah MacNamara & Tamara Strijack, Gordon will explore how screens compete for the attachment that should ground our children in caring relationships — what’s happening and why, how to recognize when something is amiss, and how to restore healthy connection in a digital world.

They will share insights, critique current explanations, and offer practical guidance for all ages — along with the language and understanding needed to open new dialogue between parents, families, and educators.

Register at https://www.neufeldinstitute.org/screen -

There will be a replay available for 1 month.

Deborah MacNamara, PhD

07/11/2025

06/11/2025

31/10/2025

Feeling pressure about your baby's sleep?

Here's the truth: Sleep can't be forced. Every baby is different. Every family is different.

Instead of teaching techniques, we trust that YOU already have the wisdom to figure out what works for your family.

Your steady, responsive presence is what matters most. And that's more than enough.

Read our full thoughts on sleep training: https://zurl.co/2Ljt7

25/10/2025

"Play is essential for healthy development & emotional well-being. What we thought was frivolous, what we thought did not count, is the single most important factor in child development.
Children need to play. Adults need to play. And we have become a work-oriented society."

– Dr. Gordon Neufeld on the importance of play.

11/10/2025

11/10/2025

Such a vital message: “collect before you direct” ♥️

10/10/2025

Your relationship with your child isn't just emotionally meaningful — it's biologically protective. Every moment of connection, every Repair after a Rupture, every time you respond to their emotional needs, you're building resilience into their developing system.

While we can't control everything that happens to our children, we can control how we show up in relationship with them. And science tells us that might be the most powerful protection we can offer. Every moment of connection matters.

Check out our newest blog: https://zurl.co/4K7l0

09/10/2025

“The key to activating maturation is to take care of the attachment needs of the child. To foster independance we must first invite dependance; to promote individuation we must provide a sense of belonging and unity; to help the child separate we must assume the responsibility for keeping the child close. We help a child let go by providing more contact and connection than he himself is seeking. When he asks for a hug, we give him a warmer one than he is giving us. We liberate children not by making them work for our love but by letting them rest in it. We help a child face the separation involved in going to sleep or going to school by satisfying his need for closeness.”

― Gordon Neufeld, Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

09/10/2025

A child’s deepest hunger is for relationship and rest.

When a child feels they must earn the right to exist in our presence, the natural ease of attachment is lost.

Our role is to offer the kind of safety that frees them from the pursuit of attachment - so they can grow, play, and mature as nature intended. It is from this place of rest that growth, play, and maturation unfold as nature intended.

In his course, Intensive I – Making Sense of Kids, Dr Gordon Neufeld lays the foundation for understanding behaviour through the lenses of attachment, maturation, and vulnerability.

Visit https://www.neufeldinstitute.org/intensive1