Sandy Millar - Celebrant & End of Life Doula

11/11/2025

Iconic author Joanne Harris sums it up in seven words: grief is love with nowhere to go. (I used AI to create this image). 🙏

31/10/2025

Friday was Halloween but less well known in Aotearoa, is the Mexican Day of the Dead, which is celebrated this weekend, 1-2 November. Called Día de los Mu***os in Spanish, people talk about their ancestors, paint their faces, eat special foods, and create shrines to acknowledge those who have passed away. It’s a great reminder that death is inevitable, and talking about it won’t hurry things along. As a funeral celebrant and end-of-life doula, I encourage people to have these courageous conversations about death and dying.
Here’s me a couple of years back with my friend Ange, trying out the vivid and iconic death masks as part of the Día de los Mu***os celebrations. 💀

31/10/2025

Day of the Dead Celebrations
Friday was Halloween, which – regardless of how you view it – has become more and more common in Aotearoa, which children and adults getting into the swing of things. Less famous in NZ is the Mexican Day of the Dead, which is celebrated this weekend, 1-2 November. Called Día de los Mu***os in Spanish, people talk about their ancestors, paint their faces, eat special foods, and create shrines to acknowledge those who have passed away.
It’s a great reminder that death is inevitable, and talking about it won’t hurry things along. As a funeral celebrant and end-of-life doula, I encourage people to have these courageous conversations about death and dying, and to prepare themselves and their families before it’s too late. Doulas like me offer Death Cafes (check out what’s happening at your local library), written and video biographies, Advance Care Plans, bedside vigils, after-death care and funeral arrangements, and even help families and whānau manage grief and post-mortem admin once the person has died. You can find a list of qualified doulas at https://www.eldaa.org.nz/find-a-doula
Here’s me a couple of years back with my friend, trying out the vivid and iconic death masks as part of the Día de los Mu***os celebrations.
If you’re interested in helping others at the end of their lives, or would just like a chat over coffee, please contact me at sandymillarcelebrant@gmail.com

31/10/2025

Day of the Dead Celebrations
Friday was Halloween, which – regardless of how you view it – has become more and more common in Aotearoa, which children and adults getting into the swing of things. Less famous in NZ is the Mexican Day of the Dead, which is celebrated this weekend, 1-2 November. Called Día de los Mu***os in Spanish, people talk about their ancestors, paint their faces, eat special foods, and create shrines to acknowledge those who have passed away.
It’s a great reminder that death is inevitable, and talking about it won’t hurry things along. As a funeral celebrant and end-of-life doula, I encourage people to have these courageous conversations about death and dying, and to prepare themselves and their families before it’s too late. Doulas like me offer Death Cafes (check out what’s happening at your local library), written and video biographies, Advance Care Plans, bedside vigils, after-death care and funeral arrangements, and even help families and whānau manage grief and post-mortem admin once the person has died. You can find a list of qualified doulas at https://www.eldaa.org.nz/find-a-doula
If you’re interested in helping others at the end of their lives, or would just like a chat over coffee, please contact me at sandymillarcelebrant@gmail.com
Here’s me a couple of years back with my friend Ange, trying out the vivid and iconic death masks as part of the Día de los Mu***os celebrations.

22/10/2025

While the kids are getting all excited about choosing their Halloween costumes, and salivating over the treats they’re anticipating in just over a week’s time, why not revisit your Advance Care Plan (ACP)? Not heard of an ACP? It’s a wickedly good document that guides what you’d like to happen as you near the end of your life. Important for ALL adults and not at all macabre, you can create your own online through the MyACP portal. Don’t be spooked about the inevitable - have a discussion with your kids, your partner or close friends, and get something down this Halloween. You’ll be enchanted by the results and the sense of relief it can bring. BTW, I have a great Aussie clip to share, but it’s definitely for adults only. Flick me a PM if you’re keen to view it, and I’ll send the link. https://www.myacp.org.nz/

17/10/2025

Have you ever wondered about the difference between a registry ceremony (once held only in a government registry office) and a personalised ceremony? Here's a snap shot for you.

13/10/2025

When the pain and bleeding started, I knew something wasn’t right. I ended up on a trolley in a corridor at Middlemore Hospital (where I’d later work), already grieving the loss of my precious baby. It’s estimated that around 15 000 women in Aotearoa miscarry or have a still birth each year. On 15 October, thousands of candles will be lit around the world to remember all the babies who never took a first breath. “Disenfranchised grief” (grief that’s not recognised) can be the hard to bear, a loneliness that permeates deep into an already broken heart. For support, or information about events near you this Wednesday, you can contact your local SANDS branch, or light your own candle in remembrance of a baby gone too soon. (Poem attributed to Rose M. De Leon). https://www.sandsauckland.org.nz/events/baby-loss-awareness-week/

12/10/2025

Whatever your pathway is, if you want to celebrate or commemorate a significant event in your life, chat to me or one of my celebrant colleagues.

09/10/2025

Have you thought about your Advance Care Plan (ACP) yet? Whether you're fit and healthy, or nearing the end of your life, this is a gift to yourself and your family or whānau. Talk to me about an ACP, before it's too late. (Quote from an unknown author - but too good not to share!) 🙏

22/09/2025

If you're wondering what to do with you wedding dress after the event, here are a few ideas:

A perfect wedding gown is a priority for most, if not all, brides. From dress shopping to getting multiple alterations, the process of finding the right dress

21/09/2025

People often say to me, "I don't want a funeral." But there are plenty of reasons to have one, especially for those who are left to grieve. And it can be as simple or sophisticated as you like, and customised to reflect your interests, values and beliefs. Choose a time and place that's meaningful for you, or use the facilities offered by funeral services across Aotearoa (see link). Why have a funeral? https://share.google/fGNaWSXH8sFftDXEl

15/09/2025

When my grandad died 34 years ago, he was buried on a hillside next to a young boy who had been murdered in his own home. At the time, I wondered if his storytelling skills about boats and the sea would be put to good use. But I also wondered if it was what my grandfather wanted - after all, his wife was buried nearly three hours away in another city. If he'd had an Advance Care Plan, maybe this wouldn't have happened. Don't assume that your family or whanau will know what you want when you're at the end of your life. Have the conversation now, and leave no doubt. Instructions and forms are readily available here in Aotearoa - contact me or one of my doula colleagues for more information, or head to www.myacp.org.nz