Normal Zebra

24/01/2026

What I hear when you say...
"Just calm down."

I know you’re trying to help.
I know you want things to settle.

But when I hear “just calm down”, this is what it feels like inside me:

It feels like I’m doing something wrong
for having big feelings.

It feels like I should be able to stop this,
but I don’t know how.

It feels like I’m failing at something
everyone else finds easy.

My body is already loud.
My heart is already fast.
My thoughts are already tangled.

So when I hear “just calm down”,
I don’t hear instructions.
I hear pressure.
I hear that I’m too much.

What helps more is knowing you’re still with me.
That I’m not in trouble.
That this will pass.

Even one quiet sentence helps:
“I’m here.”
“We’ve got time.”
“Let’s slow this down together.”

You don’t need the perfect words.
I just need to know I’m safe while my feelings catch up.

20/01/2026

You’ve tried assessments, advocacy, medication, structure, and behaviour plans, yet daily life still feels hard.

This piece offers a gentle reframe for parents of neurodivergent children when effort keeps coming but outcomes don’t seem to follow.

It’s not about trying harder, but about understanding what might be missing.

You’ve tried assessments, advocacy, medication, structure, and behaviour plans, yet daily life still feels hard. This piece offers a gentle reframe for parents of neurodivergent children when effort keeps coming but outcomes don’t seem to follow. It’s not about trying harder, but about underst...

07/12/2025

NEW (and free!) Holiday Survival Toolkit — made especially for whānau with ND kids

Every year around this time, things get… intense.
End-of-term chaos, late nights, big gatherings, lots of sensory overload — and our kids feel all of it.

I’ve put together a free Holiday Survival Toolkit to help.
It’s full of simple, practical checklists you can use:

* before you leave the house

* in the car

* at the event

* when things go sideways

* and for the all-important aftercare/reset

My hope is that it makes the next few weeks even slightly easier for you and your tamariki.

Link in first comment.

If you know a parent, caregiver, or teacher who’d find this helpful, feel free to pass it on. 💛

Wishing you a calmer, more connected Christmas hols.

03/12/2025

The holidays are nearly here 😬

I’m creating a free Holiday Survival Toolkit and I want to make it genuinely useful.

What’s the ONE thing your child finds hardest at this time of year?
Big crowds? Noise? Transitions? Family gatherings?

Let me know, and I’ll use your real-life challenges to shape what goes into the toolkit 💛

02/12/2025

✨ NEW FREE RESOURCE for parents of neurodivergent kids ✨

If you’ve ever looked at your child’s behaviour and thought “There has to be more going on underneath this…”
There is.
Once you understand that inner world, everything finally starts to make sense.

I’ve created a gentle, practical workbook called the “Wiring Map Workbook” to help you get clearer on what’s driving your child’s behaviour before it escalates.

It’s designed for busy, overstretched parents
💛 simple
💛 easy to use
💛 no overwhelm
💛 and grounded in lived experience + the Normal Zebra approach.

You can download it for free here ⬇
(link in first comment)

25/11/2025

Some days it feels like you’re holding the whole world together for your child.
If that’s you today, you’re not alone.

19/11/2025

Teachers don’t just teach content — they light sparks.
And sometimes, one tiny spark is all a child needs for confidence, curiosity, and joy to ignite again ✨

17/11/2025

A curious adult is 100x more effective than a commanding one.
Here's why - and what actually changes in the brain when we switch from compliance to curiosity.

🧠Save this for the days curiosity feels harder than it should.
💛Share it with someone who supports your kids the way you do.

11/11/2025

A teacher’s simple question revealed something bigger — that curiosity, not compliance, is what truly drives learning.

When we give students room to explore what lights them up, motivation returns, stress lowers, and wonder takes over.

✨ Read: Curiosity Over Compliance: Rekindling the Spark of Learning

A teacher, a stuck student, and a reminder that curiosity—not compliance—fuels learning, wellbeing, and motivation.

13/09/2025

Tips for surviving the last week of term 🦓

04/06/2025