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Tanya Kay

Connection • Awareness • Relationship • Real-life integration. Parenting is messy, beautiful and full of teachable moments. This is your invitation to begin.

Together, I will take you beyond behaviour & quick fixes, into deeper understanding of yourself & your children ♥️ With deep honour and an open heart, I am excited to share that I am now stepping forward under the name Tanya Kay. This shift is more than a name change, it’s a rebirth. A shedding of old layers, a return to the essence of who I truly am. It reflects a deepening of my path, my purpose and the way I offer my presence and service in the world. For years, I’ve held space as the heart behind “A Journey of Remembrance,” guiding others back to their truth. That vision is still alive but now it lives through me more fully. I’ve come to realise that I am the living, breathing embodiment of that remembrance. This next chapter is about owning that truth and stepping out from behind the name and allowing myself to be fully seen. Tanya Kay is not just a name, it is the energy I now stand in. Grounded in love, clarity, deep listening and presence. Kay, meaning “keeper of the keys,” speaks to the sacred role I hold in supporting others through life’s transitions, unlocking deeper truths, honouring their pivotal moments and reconnecting them with their own inner knowing. This sacred work is offered online or in person through 1:1 sessions and group journeys. If something here is stirring something in you, I’d love to connect. You’re welcome to explore my current offerings, book a session or simply reach out for a conversation. Whether you have questions, a quiet curiosity or just feel the nudge, send me a message or let’s set up a call.

15/02/2026

✨Free support resource for parents✨

We’re often taught to treat emotions as problems to fix.

Calm it down.
Make it stop.
Move on.

I believe one of the most powerful shifts you can make at home is that emotions aren’t bad. They’re messages.

This simple reframe helps children build emotional intelligence and to trust themselves.

So how could you explain this to your child? You might say, “feelings are like little messengers. They show up to tell us something.”

That’s it. No big explanation.

You could then start modelling how this looks and what emotions might be saying without over-teaching such as;

• This morning I felt overwhelmed. This means too much was happening all at once for me
• Last night I felt angry. My body was telling me something felt wrong or unfair
• Yesterday I felt sad. This was telling me that something important mattered to me

This helps children understand that their feelings make sense.

So how can you implement this into your home? Simple, once the emotion has passed (not in the middle of it), try asking:

“What do you think that feeling was trying to tell you?”

You’re not looking for the right answer.
You’re inviting reflection.

Some children will talk.
Some will shrug.
Some will think about it later.

All of that is okay.

You’re not teaching them to control emotions. You’re teaching them to understand them and that’s a skill they’ll use for life.

If this is something you feel could support other parents, please share it. So many families are looking for simple, gentle ways to support their children emotionally.

I’ve included an emotion-as-a-messenger reminder card. It’s designed to remind you how to respond after big emotions and offer simple language if your mind goes blank. It can help shift you from “fixing” into curiosity and connection.

I’ve also put together a free, simple parent guideline for using this with younger children, tweens and teenagers. DM me if you’d like a copy.

If you’d like more activities like this, follow along. I share practical ideas and tools each week to help parents nurture emotional intelligence and nervous system safety at home.

Tanya Kay ♥️

12/02/2026

I thought I’d introduce myself to people who are wondering who I am and to understand what my work is all about…..so, hi and welcome, I’m Tanya.

Mum to six. New Zealand–trained teacher. Trained in multiple modalities. Someone who cares deeply about how children experience their feelings not just how they behave.

I do this work because I see what happens when people grow up learning not to trust themselves.

Not only through trauma but also through lots of small moments where their feelings were rushed, dismissed or misunderstood.

As a parent, I’ve watched my own children move through big emotions, overwhelm, separation, fear and transition. And as a teacher, I saw how often children were expected to cope before their nervous systems were ready.

That’s where my work was born.

I support children and their parents to understand what feelings feel like in the body, to build emotional awareness early and to stay connected to themselves instead of learning to override their inner knowing.

This isn’t about fixing kids or creating calm children. For me it’s about raising self-trusting humans.

Children who know their feelings make sense.
Children who can ask for help without shame.
Children who grow up still connected to who they are.

If you’re here because you want to support your child in a more personalised attuned way while also honouring yourself as a parent you’re very welcome here. I look forward to connecting with you soon.

Tanya Kay ♥️

11/02/2026

✨ Want to know what’s supporting big feelings in our home…✨

I believe most children don’t struggle because they can’t explain their feelings. They struggle because the feelings are happening in their body, not their words.

One of the simplest ways to support emotional intelligence at home is something called body mapping feelings.

It’s exactly what it sounds like. You draw a body outline. That’s it.

Then instead of asking why or trying to fix anything for your child, you ask:
• Where do you feel this in your body?
• Does it feel heavy, buzzy, hot or tight?
• Is it big or small right now?
• What colour is it?

There’s no right answer.
No need to explain.
No pressure to calm down.

This activity helps children learn something powerful, that their body gives them information.

Over time, kids begin to notice:
• emotions earlier
• tension before it explodes
• what they need to feel safe again

For many children, especially those who struggle to put feelings into words, this feels far more natural than talking.

You’re not teaching them to control their emotions. You’re teaching them to listen.

That’s the foundation of emotional intelligence.

I use this technique a lot in our home and have a little scrapbook with body outlines because it helps our children slow down and listen to what their body is trying to say.

If this is something you feel could support other parents, please share it. So many families are looking for simple, gentle ways to support their children emotionally.

I’ve put together a free, simple parent guideline for using this with younger children, tweens and teenagers. DM me if you’d like a copy.

And if you’d like more activities like this, follow along. I share practical ideas and tools each week to help parents nurture emotional intelligence and nervous system safety at home

Tanya Kay ♥️

10/02/2026

Emotional intelligence…. Have you heard this and wondered what it means?

For me it isn’t about children being calm, compliant or well behaved. It’s about children understanding what’s happening inside them and feeling safe enough to stay connected while they feel it.

Emotional intelligence to me is the ability to:
• recognise emotions as they arise
• understand what those emotions are communicating
• move through feelings without suppressing or exploding
• stay connected to self and others during big moments

And here’s the part that often gets missed, emotional intelligence lives in the body first, not the mind.

Children don’t learn emotional intelligence by being told to calm down, use their words or think differently. They learn it through felt safety, co-regulation and repeated experiences of being understood.

When emotional intelligence is supported early:
• emotions don’t get stored in the body
• behaviour becomes communication instead of conflict
• confidence grows from inner safety
• children trust themselves
• parents feel more grounded and capable

I offer this work because I’ve seen what happens when emotions are misunderstood.

As a teacher, I saw children labelled when their nervous systems were overwhelmed.
As a parent, I’ve navigated big emotions in my own children and in myself.
As a practitioner, I work at the body level, where emotions actually live.

My work isn’t about fixing children.
It’s about helping them build a relationship with themselves with parents supported alongside them.

That’s why I create personalised emotional intelligence resources:
• cards that speak to a child’s nervous system
• stories that help children recognise themselves
• tools parents can use in real moments, not just calm ones
• language that supports connection instead of control

I believe emotional intelligence isn’t a skill we demand. It’s something we grow slowly and safely.

If this resonates, you’re likely already doing more right than you realise.

If you’re wanting deeper, personalised support, I’ll be opening space for a very small number of families this year.

✨ Follow along here to be the first to know when this support opens
✨ Or message me directly if you’d like to stay connected, ask questions or feel into whether this work is right for your family.

You don’t have to teach emotional intelligence alone and your child doesn’t have to figure it out by themselves either.

Tanya Kay ♥️

09/02/2026

Why personalised support works

Since starting back to school I haven’t changed our daughter’s school drop-off by being firmer, more cheerful or more reassuring.

I changed it by listening to her body instead of focusing on her behaviour.

What I learned (again) is that children don’t struggle because they’re being difficult. They struggle because their nervous system is overwhelmed.

And here’s the part that matters most, overwhelm doesn’t look the same in every child.

Some children need movement.
Some need predictability.
Some need words.
Some need silence.
Some need their body involved before their mind can catch up.

That’s why personalised support works and that’s why I offer it.

The cards I create for our daughter aren’t calming tools in the usual sense. They don’t tell her to be brave or calm down.

They met her exactly where she is, in her body, in her feelings, in that moment of separation.

When support matches your child’s nervous system:
• goodbyes shorten naturally
• distress moves instead of escalating
• trust builds instead of pressure

This is what I now offer other families, support designed around how your child experiences transitions, not how they’re expected to cope with them.

If you’d like more information about how this might look for you and your child DM YES and I’ll be in touch.

Tanya Kay ♥️

08/02/2026

✨✨New offering available now✨✨
Personalised school drop-off support

I’m opening a small number of spaces for families navigating challenging school and day care drop-offs and wanting support that is gentle, personalised and nervous-system aware.

School and day care drop-offs can look simple from the outside but when your child’s body is overwhelmed, no amount of reassurance, reasoning or rushing makes it easier.

I’m sharing this because this is something we’re currently moving through with our own daughter.

The support cards I created for Gracie weren’t designed because she needed fixing. They were created because her body experiences separation and transitions in a very specific way.

What helps one child feel safe can overwhelm another. What looks like resistance is often a nervous system asking for more support.

Gracie’s cards are specific to her, the language, images and actions are all chosen to match how she processes overwhelm, not how adults wish she would or how other children do.

This isn’t a generic strategy or behaviour plan. It’s child-specific nervous system support, designed around how YOUR child experiences transitions, separation and overwhelm not how they’re expected to cope.

This offering includes:

✨ 1:1 supportive parent consultation and discussion where we explore:
• what drop-off feels like in your child’s body
• what’s actually triggering the distress
• what doesn’t work for your child even if it works for others
* how this effects you

✨ Personalised drop-off support cards
• created specifically for your child
• uses body-based language and imagery
• can be laminated and carried in a pocket or school bag

✨ In-depth parent guide (PDF)
• how to use the cards with confidence
• what to say and what not to say
• how to shorten goodbyes without increasing distress
• how to repair and reconnect after school

This support comes from lived experience as a parent, alongside years of working with children and families. It’s about helping children feel safe enough to separate, rather than pushing them to cope through it.

If school drop-offs are feeling heavy in your home and you want support that honours your child’s nervous system, send me a message or comment “DROP-OFF” and I’ll be in touch. Or I invite you to follow me as I’ll be sharing more new offerings soon.

Tanya Kay ♥️

04/02/2026

I believe a child’s emotions aren’t something to manage. I believe they’re information.

They tell us what’s happening inside the body long before words, logic or behaviour make sense.

So much parenting advice jumps straight to strategies, consequences or calming techniques but skips the nervous system entirely and when we skip the body, I believe we miss the message.

Big emotions aren’t a child being difficult. I believe they’re a body asking for safety, support or understanding.

This is why my work looks different.

I don’t teach children to suppress feelings or parents to control them. I help families learn how to listen to sensations, signals, rhythms and needs beneath the emotion.

Because when a child feels felt in their body:
• emotions move instead of getting stuck
• behaviour softens naturally
• trust and confidence grow
• connection replaces power struggles

When parents understand what’s happening underneath, they stop blaming themselves and start responding with more clarity and calm.

This is the work I’m devoted to.

✨ This is exactly why I’ve created my Personalised Emotional Support Cards ✨

These are individually designed for your child and paired with parent guidance so you’re not guessing what to say or do when emotions run high.

They help:
• your child understand what they’re feeling in body-safe ways
• you respond with confidence instead of reactivity
• emotions be worked through, not managed or suppressed

If this resonates, I invite you to follow along or send me a DM with the word CARDS and I’ll let you know when this offering opens and how it could support your child.

This isn’t about fixing emotions.
It’s about finally understanding them.

Tanya Kay ♥️

03/02/2026

Most children aren’t struggling because they’re “too emotional.”

They’re struggling because no one ever taught them what their emotions mean so their body does the talking instead.

Through big reactions.
Through shutdown.
Through anxiety, control, perfectionism or people-pleasing.

What we often call behaviour is actually a nervous system asking:
Am I safe?
Am I understood?
Does anyone know what’s happening inside me right now?

When children don’t have language for their inner world, the body becomes the messenger.

But when a child is supported to notice:
• where feelings live in their body
• what helps them settle or move energy through
• and that emotions are welcome, not inconvenient
Something changes at a deep level.

They stop fighting themselves.
They stop thinking they’re “too much.
They start trusting their inner signals instead of overriding them.

This is why the work I’m offering isn’t generic or one-size-fits-all. My offerings are being created to support both children and parents, together.

They include:
• personalised, child-friendly tools that help your child understand their emotions and nervous system
• visual and somatic supports that they can return to in real moments, not just calm ones
• guided prompts and explanations for parents so you know what to say and how to support without guessing
• resources that help you stay connected and regulated when emotions run high

This isn’t about controlling emotions or teaching children to self-regulate alone. It’s about co-regulation, safety and understanding again and again until the nervous system learns it doesn’t have to protect itself this hard anymore.

Not strategies layered on top of overwhelm. Not behaviour charts or quick fixes but personalised, relationship-centred tools that help children build a trusting relationship with themselves with supported parents beside them.

So why is this an important offering for me? Because when children feel safe inside themselves, everything else has something solid to grow from.

If this resonates, you’re welcome to follow along or send me a DM if you’d like to be notified as these offerings become available.

Tanya Kay ♥️

02/02/2026

🌿 Why I include nature in nervous system support for children 🌿

I don’t include nature in my work because it looks nice or feels calming in theory. I include it because children’s nervous systems respond to it.

So much emotional support focuses on talking, thinking or fixing behaviour but when a child is overwhelmed, frustrated or dysregulated their nervous system isn’t available for logic or words yet.

Nature does something powerful. It slows the body before we ask the mind to catch up.

Fresh air, movement, space, scent, uneven ground, distance to look at these are regulating inputs. They help the nervous system move out of fight, flight or freeze and back into safety.

For some children, especially sensitive, deep-feeling kids, being outside removes pressure:
• no one is watching
• nothing is being demanded
• their body can reset without being told to “calm down”

When nature is paired with gentle, nervous-system-informed support, children learn:
• how to notice what’s happening inside their body
• how to move frustration or overwhelm instead of storing it
• how to return to calm in a way that feels natural, not forced

This isn’t about sending kids outside to “burn energy.” It’s about meeting their nervous system where it is.

✨This is why I’ve created a new personalised offering ✨

I now offer individually designed nature-based nervous system support cards, created specifically for your child paired with a parent guidebook so you know how to use them in real-life moments, not just calm ones.

Each set is:
• personalised to your child
• designed to support regulation through the body
• grounded in nature, movement and safety
• supportive for parents too not just the child

Nature isn’t an add-on in this work. It’s a core part of helping children feel safe in their bodies again.

If you feel a quiet yes, you’re probably exactly who this is for. I invite you to follow along or DM me to be the first to know when I’ll be offering this powerful, personalised nervous system support for children and their parents.

(These cards are examples from a set of cards I’ve created for our 12-year-old son, shaped around how he experiences the world and what his nervous system needs.)

Tanya Kay ♥️

01/02/2026

This card is one from a set of cards I created specifically for our daughter Gracie to honour and protect one of her most beautiful strengths, curiosity.

Gracie experiences the world through wondering. She notices details others miss, asks big questions and is naturally drawn to explore, observe and understand how things work. Curiosity isn’t something we’re trying to teach her, it’s something already alive inside her.

But curiosity needs support, not just encouragement.

Without guidance, for Gracie it can tip into overwhelm, rushing or scattered energy. With the right support it becomes confidence, focus and deep learning.

That’s why this card doesn’t push answers or outcomes.

✨It slows curiosity down so her body can stay regulated while she explores
✨It teaches her to notice curiosity in her body, not just her mind
✨It gives her permission to take things one small step at a time
✨It helps her stay grounded while still following her natural wonder

This card sends a powerful message to Gracie that her curiosity is safe. That she doesn’t need to rush and that she can explore in a way that feels good in her body.

That’s the heart of these personalised cards. They aren’t about correcting a child. They’re about protecting their strengths while supporting their nervous system.

When a child feels their natural way of being is understood and supported, confidence grows organically and for me that’s what this work is really about.

If you’ve ever wished your child’s natural strengths were understood and supported, not rushed or reshaped, you’re not alone.

This personalised emotional support work will be opening to a small number of families. Follow along or send me a message if you’d like to be on the list to receive details when it opens.

Tanya Kay ♥️

30/01/2026

This card is one from a set of cards I created specifically for our daughter Gracie not just for her age but how her nervous system experiences overwhelm.

When Gracie feels overwhelmed it doesn’t show up as one clear emotion. It shows up as too much at once, too many thoughts, sensations, expectations or internal pressure. Her system needs help slowing, gathering and grounding, not fixing or reasoning.

That’s why this card doesn’t say:
“Calm down.”
“Take a breath.”
“Tell me what’s wrong.”

Instead, it meets her where she actually is. How she is wired

✨The images shows how overwhelm feels in her body, stormy, cloudy, heavy
✨The steps gently guide her from her head back into her body
✨The final grounding step gives her a sense of purpose and connection, turning overwhelm into something safe and meaningful rather than something to get rid of.

This isn’t accidental. Every word, image, and action is chosen to match how Gracie processes emotions, not how adults wish children would or how other kids might.

That’s the power of personalised emotional support cards. They don’t ask children to change their feelings. They help children move through them in a way their body understands. When a child feels understood at this level, regulation becomes possible.

This is why these cards work because they’re attuned to each child as an individual.

If you’ve ever wished your child had support that truly fits them, you’re not alone. This personalised emotional support work will be opening to a small number of families soon.

It will include an in-depth parent consultation, a personalised set of emotional regulation cards created specifically for your child, a child-friendly support guide that brings each card to life, clear parent prompts showing you how to introduce and use the tools in real-world moments not just calm ones and continuous on going 1:1 support to help implement changes in your family.

This work is designed to meet your child at the body level, where emotions actually live, while supporting you to respond with confidence, clarity, and connection.

Follow along or send me a message if you’d like to be on the list to receive details when it opens.

Tanya Kay ♥️

29/01/2026

Imagine a generation of children who grow up trusting their bodies, understanding their emotions and knowing they are safe to be seen and heard.

Children who don’t need to be told to “calm down” because they’ve learned how to listen to what their body is communicating.

Children who can name what they’re feeling instead of acting it out.

Children who don’t internalise shame for having big emotions, sensitive nervous systems or strong inner worlds.

This is not about raising perfectly regulated children. It’s about raising supported children.

When a child understands:
• what’s happening inside their body
• why emotions show up the way they do
• and that connection comes before correction

Something powerful shifts. Confidence grows from safety. Courage grows from being understood. Emotional resilience grows from being met and not managed.

This is the heart behind much of the work I’m ready to offer soon.
Not quick fixes.
Not behaviour charts.
But personalised tools that help children build a relationship with themselves with supported parents beside them.

I believe when we change how children experience their emotions, we don’t just change childhood, we change the future.

If this resonates, follow along. You’re also welcome to send me a DM if you’d like to be notified when these offerings are ready or want to learn more as they unfold.

Tanya Kay ♥️

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Whangamata
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