ReSet by Nicki Toms

30/10/2025

Our emotions are like waves—temporary, ever-changing, and a reflection of conditions arising in the present moment. Instead of suppressing or fighting them, we can transform our relationship with them.

Here’s a mindful way to process your feelings and triggers rooted in both psychology and Buddhist wisdom:

🔴 Pause
Before reacting, take a mindful breath. Notice that you are experiencing something. In Buddhism, this is sati (mindfulness) — the sacred pause that allows awareness to arise before habit takes over.
The Buddhist way of handling a trigger or unexpected emotion and once again, it takes patience and practice.

🔴 Name It
Label the feeling: anger, sadness, fear, joy. By naming it, you begin to loosen its grip. As Thích Nhất Hạnh said, “Call your anger by its true name. Hello, my little anger. I will take good care of you.” Naming transforms the emotion into something you can compassionately observe rather than be consumed by.
🔴 Feel It
Sit with the emotion without judgment. Don’t run, don’t cling. Simply be present. This is the practice of equanimity (upekkha) — neither pushing away nor holding on, but allowing emotions to flow like clouds passing through the sky.
🔴 Ask Why
Investigate gently. What triggered this feeling? Why does it matter to you? In Buddhist practice, this is the step of insight (vipassana) — looking deeply into the roots of suffering, so we can understand and be free from it.
🔴 Release
Let it go through breath, journaling, or speaking mindfully. Releasing is not rejection—it is freeing yourself from the weight of clinging. Just as the Buddha taught that all things are impermanent (anicca), your emotions too are visitors, not permanent residents.
🔴 Shift
Redirect your energy toward compassion, calm, or something constructive. This is right effort from the Noble Eightfold Path — choosing to cultivate wholesome states of mind instead of feeding destructive ones.
🌿 In essence, your feelings are not enemies. They are teachers. Each emotion carries a message, but it does not define you. With mindfulness, compassion, and wisdom, you can walk through them, learn from them, and then let them go.
✨ Next time you feel overwhelmed, remember this gentle path: Pause → Name → Feel → Ask → Release → Shift.
It is not about controlling emotions, but transforming your relationship with them.

28/10/2025

This..takes time. It takes patience. It takes an extraordinary amount of faith.
There will be triggers along the way and they will test you. But you get to decide what you need, how much space and time you require in order to heal and to do the work.
Know your worth, know your boundaries and know that you absolutely will make it through xx

24/10/2025

15/07/2025

I am really looking forward to meeting more wonderful woman from this community and talk about the many ways we can navigate Menopause in a healthy way both mentally and physically.
Come along on the 30th July, Wednesday at the Crossroads Encounter Church , Cook Drive,

15/07/2025

am really looking forward to meeting more wonderful woman from this community and talk about the many ways we can navigate Menopause in a healthy way both mentally and physically.
Come along on the 30th July, Wednesday at the Crossroads Encounter Church , Cook Drive, Whitianga :)

22/05/2025

Thank Goodness it's Friday. Whether you have had a busy week or a week of running around trying to do as many chores or attend as many appointments as humanely possible...it is.... Friday. 🤩

Maybe you could accomplish a few of those "end of the tunnel" thoughts that have helped you get to Friday. 🤔

Maybe your plan is to have no plan and just go with the flow, on your terms of course.🥰

My plan is to clear some space and recharge. To reward myself with fresh air and sea air. To journal and visualise how I want tomorrow to look and feel. ✍️
My plan is to reward myself for the small and bigger achievements so far because I am only human after all and a little self care and praise goes a hell of a long way when flying solo 🪂 xx

01/05/2025

What's your energy reality? Are you bursting with energy or running on fumes?
Take stock of your daily tasks and priorities – how will you allocate your energy to get everything done? Remember to leave space for rest, nutrition, and self-care – the fuel you need to thrive.
Put your devices down at a certain time each night.
Get your laptop out of your relaxing place.
Your phone is smart.. it can take messages…..

While you UNPLUG 🔌💡🧘