04/08/2023
I Just Kissed Marriage Goodbye
- Dr Erwin Brian Tan
I just kissed marriage goodbye… I have sacrificed the idea… I am not going to make it into an idol, because anything that takes your attention away from God, is an idol.
Yes, I am still prepared for it, I would be honored if it is for me… but I will not test God and say, "I have faith that it will happen!"... because it would be like me "telling the Creator what to do"... that if it doesn't happen in my life, I am showing that the Lord is powerless. That if no one is coming, I might even be forced to "help God", and just choose whoever that is convenient, just to prevent the Lord from seeming to be "incapable".
I will not hide my ultimate yearnings in statements like "I believe, therefore I will get it."... sometimes it is even the "false faith" that we have that impairs our blessings. Faith is the absolute trust in God to give or not to give... to take or not to take... and not merely to fulfill what we want.
Upkeep of a good Marriage is actually a huge responsibility... reserved for those well prepared... wisened by learnings, and toughened by experiences.
I have Faith that God will do what is best for me... because I love Him. That statement is Biblical.
What isn't Biblical is... I will get married and have kids because I have faith that God will give me the desires of my heart.
Our real desire... is to be happy, and most of the time, our flawed mindset is telling us marriage is the answer... well maybe it is... but if the current ratio of divorce is 1 out of 2.5 marriages, then maybe it isn't the path to endless bliss.
So, God will not give you the desires of your hearts? No, He will...but the real deep desire of our hearts is merely to be happy... and God will fulfill that. He wants us to be happy... but He will fulfill that in His own ways... because His ways are not our ways... our way of thinking is not His way of thinking.
There are so many ways on how to be happy, and sometimes marriage is even counter-productive as it is too much work just to get joy out of it. Travel, success in one's profession, and many more are easier.
My prayer is this "Lord, may this cup pass before me, but not my will, but Your will be done." And if above all this... I was still chosen to enter that ministry of marriage… then I pray that I would have the courage to pursue it, the willingness to give up my life for it, and the power to endure every testing that will come my way.
And to the one reading this… I want to end by saying… "Prioritize the fulfillment of the Joy of God, and all your deepest desires to be happy and joyful, will be added unto you. Go back to Him… seek Him and you shall find Him.