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Custom Relationship Repair and Enrichment

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Cebu City
Custom Relationship Repair and Enrichment

Gary Todd has MA level training in personal and professional coaching while studying at the University of Minnesota, and Azusa Pacific College..

Now residing in The Philippine, he continues hes practice online

27/12/2024

Relationship Repair includes your relationship with yourself

27/01/2024

Personal changes:

Things a person can change
Behaviors can change if they are willing to do some hard work and are motivated to change the behavior in question.

Things that cannot change
A person's basic personality and genetic makeup.

Things that won't change
One's resentment if the change is forced upon the person and does not feel correct to the person.

12/12/2023

The daily mantra or affirmation of an admitted narcissist in recovery:

"I'm really not that special."

05/12/2023

Good to Know:

Healthy Guilt:
Feeling remorse for harm to self, others, or the environment that one is responsible for. It's there to motivate good changes in behavior.

Unhealthy Guilt:
Feeling remorse or shame for harm that was not caused by one but perceived as one's responsibility . Motivates shame, and or actions that have no positive impact, and or enabling of the real culprits, and or care taking codependency

Holding one accountable:
The assignment of Healthy Guilt to self or others and a request for change that is possible.

A guilt trip;
The assignment of Unhealthy Guilt to self or others and request for changes or shame that cannot have impact on a problem that one really didn't cause.

No Guilt when responsible for harm to self, others, or the environment:
A dangerous symptom of denial, and or narcissism, and or character disorder. the responsibility for the issue is defected and or blamed on others. The problem never goes away

05/12/2023

A child's misbehavior is a teachable moment and a consequence moment. For the parent, or school teacher, it is a moment for strategy rather than an emotionally driven response.

What would you like to teach the child? What is a consequence that somehow relates to the misbehavior?

20/09/2023

Addicted?

One knows they are an addict when they wake up obsessively thinking about drugs, alcohol, activities, and or relationships that might make one feel better. Then you go to the kitchen a steal your wife's vanilla extract to put your coffee (35% alcohol), go next door to have s*x with your best friend's wife, go early to the Gym, on steroids, to pump some iron, smoke a fat one on the way to gamble at the race track, go to your AA meeting to say you love the steps, and later, you arrive late to your mandatory therapy session to report that everything in your life is fine, thank you!

You drive home on a revoked driver's license and go to bed feeling relieved that your wife is at her long time Al anon meeting. She knows you went to AA and therapy - so no problems for her without problems of her own to face or not!

19/09/2023

Pita's mental and relationship health thought for the day; Types of codependency:

Other Focused - seeks relationships where they can enter into care taking roles of others to feel in control and to avoid reliance on others due to lack of trust in others.

Passive Dependent - seeks relationships with others where they can depend on others to take care of them to avoid self reliance due to lack of faith in oneself.

Self Focused - seeks caretakers who place few demands on them. They can be very demanding and manipulative in order to keep the focus on themselves and their own needs.

Dominating Others - seeks relationships with powerless people to maintain a false sense of power due to one's own fear of powerlessness.

Enabling of Others - seeks relationships with highly dysfunctional people who need them in order to avoid self examination and self responsibility.

09/07/2023

Pita's Mental and Relationship Thought for the Day:

"Like little ducklings, we are imprinted to our original family dynamics - nature thinking that if this family survived, there is survival value in it and we should repeat it over and over again in our relationship with ourselves and others. Nature did not know that humans survive terrible dysfunction to reproduce as adults."

Individual, couples, family therapy and therapists need to better understand this and deal with it to really help people who are caught in that terrible cycle of repeating harmful behaviors and relationships over and over. Overcoming early childhood imprinting is an act of discipline that is akin to fighting nature and its impulses gone astray."

There world, I said it!

Need evidence? With all of this in mind, watch Pamela Anderson's interview (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckhkldOHaMc) and her therapy and therapists miss the significance of this still to this day. When one understands imprinting, one sees that attraction and impulse needs to never be ones guide to relationships if one comes from a severely dysfunctional background.

Years of individual therapy is probably not looking at imprinting as a factor. It's not just Psychological - it' also nature and genetics trying to replicate.

Do the world a favor and send this post around!

02/05/2023

We all live with one foot planted in heaven and the other in hell while believing we have two feet on Planet Earth. Anyone capable of walking a straight line, with feet in opposition, is quite remarkable.

26/02/2023

Roles or no roles?

The taker says, "What will you do to make my life better?"
The giver says, "What can I do to make your life better?"
The balanced person says, "Let's go with the flow and help each other do it!

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