Beloved Crohnicles

01/09/2022

Thank you Girls With Guts for my butt basket infusion care kit 😭💗🙏

Love the toilet stress ball lol 😂💗

30/03/2022

"Hi! I'm Tawana Krishna Braddock Cousart, a wife and a mother of a sweet 4 yr old boy.

I have a chronic lifelong condition called Crohn's disease, an inflammatory bowel disease. It's a genetic autoimmune/autoinflammatory condition that has no cure yet.
It is painful and debilitating, and it sometimes leads to life-threatening complications, which have happened to me a few times already.

More than half of my small intestines and colon have fistulas and strictures and are inflamed. Crohn's disease also affects my liver, eyes, joints, skin and causes severe malnutrition and blood issues. My digestive system can't absorb food properly and sometimes I need my nutrition delivered through an IV into my chemo port in my chest directly into my heart.

I deal with physical and physiological challenges/limitations such as fatigue, pain, and debilitation. It is very challenging for me to care for my very energetic son. When my condition is flaring up, I am not able to work nor care for myself completely. I also have to deal with the side effects of treatment.

I'm currently on chemotherapy treatment (Remicade - Infliximab) for my condition. My chemotherapy is maintenance therapy, meaning my body needs the chemo infusions every 6 to 8 weeks for the rest of my life, to hopefully induce and maintain remission.

Because of this, I am challenged physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially.
The chemotherapy drug I'm on currently costs Php 61,863.00 per infusion.
I am also immunocompromised due to the treatment. Sometimes I get frustrated and overwhelmed and I, myself, even get confused with my invisible disability. I look okay on the outside but my internal organs are not so okay. Sometimes I am not able to properly determine what I can physically handle. It can also get very stressful when something medically critically happens.

It is only by God's grace, mercy, and miracles that I am still here, able to see my son grow day by day. Despite all the struggles my family and I are going through, I feel and see God's love for me more clearly through the people who blesses us, helps us, and prays for us.
I am learning how to be completely dependent on God. To trust Him in ALL circumstances. I am experiencing that His strength is indeed made perfect in my weakness.

We all have our own crosses to carry but I believe that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.

Our hope is in God. Life can really be rough. When we are drowning in the pains and challenges of life, the more we need to cling, focus and hold on to God

I am claiming healing, permanent remission, and divine provisions in Jesus' Name. I hope that someday, God would use me and my experiences in my life to help others for His glory.

I am humbly asking for any financial help that you could spare for my lifelong chemotherapy treatment. Please include me in your prayers. I'm deeply grateful to you all, God bless!"

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On behalf of the leadership of Kingdom Advance Ministry, we are extending our help by sharing her testimony. Tawana has been part of Healing Room Live since the ministry started back in 2020. We have witnessed God's faithfulness in her journey and we understand how difficult and financially exhausting the journey is. With that being said, we are extending our hand by having the opportunity for us to give our seed and help Tawana in any way that we can.

Tawana's banking information is in the post below and for further details, you may follow Beloved Crohnicles. While you're at it, we encourage you to send her a message or a prayer. 🙏

09/03/2022

March 7, 2022. 12th chemo cycle.
I've been on chemo for 1yr and 4mos now. It is a part of my life now.
My version of "normal".
It's definitely a wild ride. So many challenges and struggles but I am still here, still alive, joyful, grateful and hopeful.
I am deeply grateful to God for all your help, love, support and prayers. Thank you, all.

Isaiah 40:31
"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

02/03/2022

28/02/2022

I had a heartfelt conversation with my Grab Car driver earlier today. The topic somehow went into about my condition.
Long story short, he said that hearing my situation made him realize how his problems seem ridiculous now and that he couldn't imagine what he would do or how to survive if he was in my situation.

I responded, "All of our problems are valid because it affects us no matter how small or big it may seem. We need to honor our emotions, as the first step to a solution is acknowledging the problem. However, despite our problems, we need to focus on God.

Regardless how consuming and distracting our problems may be, nothing is all bad nor all good. It's a matter of choosing your perspective. What you focus on will be your truth.

It's only by God's grace that I am joyful and grateful despite the cross I carry.
Yeah, I know chemo sucks, I honestly don't even know how to afford my ridiculously expensive treatment, I want to live until I'm 97 but each day is a battle for me to survive..

I whine, I cry, I get depressed, I even think I'm going insane most times lol.. but I eventually bring all these to God and then I'm reminded, like right now, yes -- my situation may seem hopeless BUT I am not in the ICU, I don't have a tube in my nose, I'm conscious, I can detach myself from my IV line in increments of hours, my son is healthy and happy, I get to eat and enjoy solid food right now, people are praying for me and helping me so much! I feel and know God's love for me through everyone around me. I've almost died more than twice but I am still here. I appreciate everything more and every day is a miracle. I am alive and I am making the most out of it, through God's mercy and grace."

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."
- 1 Thessalonians 5:16‭-‬18 NIV

27/02/2022

I'm actually battling an infection for weeks now.

I can't tolerate oral antibiotics so it is administered intravenously. We don't have the luxury of sufficient finances so instead of being admitted in the hospital, I'm administering my IV meds on my own at home with the help of such a great oncology nurse -- who taught me how to do so.

However, something happened with my chemo port in my chest. Since last night, it became resistant when attempting to aspirate and there is no blood backflow. So for the meantime, my fragile peripheral arm veins would have to do. I would need to flush the line at least every 4hrs round the clock since my blood clots easily.

Sometimes I feel like my brain is literally fried from all the ridiculous stress. I even had a severe panic attack last night -- I felt like I was choking, my bones were trembling, my body felt numb and I felt like I was going to lose consciousness. I thought I was having a heart attack or something worse.

I'm gonna see my cardiothoracic surgeon tomorrow to figure out what's up with my port and hopefully it would be resolved simply and non-invasively.

So please keep praying for me, y'all. Please pray for my physical and mental health.. cause I'm really struggling yo.

It is only by God's grace that I am surviving everything.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

26/02/2022

I am tired but at the same time persevering.
I am sad but at the same time joyful and grateful.

The fact that I am struggling means that I am alive and for that, I am truly grateful.

2 Corinthians 4:7‭-‬9
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."

27/01/2022