Rabeea Irfan- Psychological Counseling Services

13/05/2020

An article detailing some tips and techniques in dealing with toxic and negative people in our personal life.

Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com During the last few weeks, I’ve had several conversations with friends and clients, the common theme of which were toxic relationships. I also came across …

13/05/2020

Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com During the last few weeks, I've had several conversations with friends and clients, the common theme of which were toxic relationships. I also came across several posts on social media, written by anonymous people, who were looking for guidance for dealing with negative people. Toxic people comes in all shape and form. They maybe a friend in disguise, dowsing you with their negativity, or they could be a family member, with whom you are tied down by life. [ 951 more words ]
https://thetherapistdiaries.wordpress.com/2020/05/13/toxic-people-and-how-to-live-with-them/

Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com During the last few weeks, I’ve had several conversations with friends and clients, the common theme of which were toxic relationships. I also came across …

13/10/2019

Housewives… the word itself containts negative connotations, as it seems to pinpoint towards a person who is literally married to the house, an inanimate object. It pulls down like a block of dead weight, dragging with it the person tied, and engulfing her in a deep abscess. Several researches have shown that housewives are more likely to develop depression than their working counterparts. [ 597 more words ]

Housewives… the word itself containts negative connotations, as it seems to pinpoint towards a person who is literally married to the house, an inanimate object. It pulls down like a block of dead …

03/10/2019

Language Development in Children

“My child is very intelligent and can count up to 100 at the age of 3, but he doesn’t talk”

“My child seems otherwise normal, but his vocabulary is very limited for his age”

In today’s world surrounded by devices and screens, there has been a flurry of reported cases of speech delay. Sometimes, these issues are present along with other problems, such as behavioral problems, lack of interest in socialization and an increased interest in watching videos/cartoons on screen.

In the last few years with more and more facilities available online, young parents grabbed it as an opportunity to provide more and more information to their children at a very young age. But this gain of information came with a price tag… children learnt solid blocks of information, but they missed out on opportunities to “create” conversation. They can recite their alphabets and numbers in perfect accent, but they don’t know how to communicate simple emotions and feelings, and how to interact with others. Unfortunately, the present crime wave in cities also added to parents’ worries and they usually do not allow their children to play in parks and meet strangers freely. While it is a very safe practice in itself, it created an entire generation of children who are extremely ahead of their age in information and knowledge, but struggle with putting simple sentences together.

EXCERCISES TO INCREASE LANGUAGE SKILLS OF CHILDREN

1. Make it a habit of discussing everything with your child. Instead of asking close ended questions (which can be answered in yes or no), ask open ended questions as they encourage children to talk more. For example, when you lay out the clothes for the day, instead of asking “do you like this shirt?”, ask “what do you like about this shirt?”. When the child answers, start another discussion with him/her.
2. Talk, talk, talk. Use easy as well as difficult words. Don’t oversimplify common words for the child. Children have an ability to learn much more and much faster than we give them credit for, and making up different words for them for common items actually hamper their ability to hold a confident conversation with others.
3. Maintain eye contact with your child.
4. If your child points to something, encourage him to make a sentence. Don’t rush to fulfill his wish. The child is not going to have a need to talk and interact if all of his needs are being fulfilled without it.
5. Lay out some toys (action figures, animals etc) and make a story session. Include all the children of family in this activity as this can be a great bonding session between siblings and parents. For example, the mother first picks up a tiger and says “This is a tiger. He lives in a big jungle.” , and then the next person picks up the same toy and continues the story “His name is Leo the tiger. He likes to chase animals”… and the story continues this way. Encourage the child to participate in this activity and think of anything.
6. Appreciate the child when he speaks out. When he makes a complete sentence, albeit a small one, give him a hug. “I’m so proud of you” “You are talking like a big boy/girl now” are some of the things you can say to make the child feel good about himself.
7. Make reading a daily ritual with kids. Set up a fixed time and make the child sit in your lap where he can see the words. Show him the pictures while you read out loud the story. Use picture books with one or two sentences on a page along with a big picture. Make different sounds for each character and ask the child to participate too. For example, if the book is about a cat, ask the child which sound does a cat makes? The goal is not to finish the book, but to enjoy the conversation with your child.
8. Praise your child as much as you can and do not point out his flaws in front of others. Statements like “he doesn’t talk at all but his sister was such a good talker at that age” are very hurtful for the child, and it makes children retreat further into their shell. Be the advocate of your child and do not let anyone belittle him.

Just like driving is a skill and you cannot be a good driver unless you practice a lot in different situations, language is also a skill and it cannot be developed unless ample opportunities are given to children to talk. The more you interact and talk to your children, the more opportunities they have to develop this skill. The above mentioned suggestions are a few ways to improve speech in children. Please note:

 It takes a long time to learn a skill. Slowly encourage your child to engage in conversation. The results will take months to be evident.
 If you feel that there is absolutely no change in the child even after following these suggestions for at least a few weeks, please consult a speech therapist (if there are only issues related to speech), or a psychologist (if there are other issues such as repetitive behavior, extreme adherence of routine, lack of socialization, lack of eye contact, aggression etc).

Rabeea Irfan- Clinical Psychologist

26/09/2019