07/01/2026
Toddlers often save their most intense emotions for the people they trust most. When your child melts down only in your presence, it is not a failure of parenting, it reflects a secure and trusting relationship.
Neuroscience shows that a child’s nervous system responds differently around caregivers. When children feel safe, their brains allow emotions to surface fully. Stress circuits deactivate faster, making it possible for pent-up feelings to emerge without fear of rejection.
Children hold back strong emotions around others because they are still learning self-regulation. With trusted caregivers, they know they can express frustration, sadness, or anger and still be safe. This release is part of healthy emotional development.
Parents who remain calm, attentive, and responsive help the brain learn that strong feelings are manageable. By observing, naming, and guiding emotions rather than suppressing them, caregivers teach children emotional awareness, resilience, and problem-solving skills.
Meltdowns in a safe environment are not a reflection of failure, they are evidence of trust. Children reserve their biggest feelings for those they know will stay present, helping the brain learn regulation, empathy, and security from the earliest years.
~ Chris Matheka 🇰🇪
Chris Matheka