Listen without Prejudice-A Singapore-based Professional Counselling Service

24/12/2025

I've never met M Ravi but I resonate with what he stands for--justice--and this hurts.
Have you ever wondered why some losses hurt more than others? Why do some people get emotional when their favourite K-drama artiste suddenly dies, while others remain completely unmoved?
I reckon M Ravi's sudden death will be felt most among SG's community of activists because they share common values of justice.
In authoritatian states like SG, living out your value of justice can be terribly lonely, so M Ravi's
passing means one less ally and one more reason to feel lonelier or even give up altogether.
We are not just grieving the loss of this man's life but our shared values too.
Anything or anyone that compromises your value has the effect of compounding your grief in a way that it questions your sense of self, worldview and belief system.

Former lawyer M. Ravi, known for shaping constitutional law in Singapore, has been found dead, with police investigating an unnatural death. Read more at straitstimes.com. Read more at straitstimes.com.

13/12/2025

MY first visit to made me almost pass out from cutness overload, but speaking to their owners also opened my eyes to the impact of pet loss. The typical grumpy, distant Singaporean was nowhere to be found but everyone connected via their cats as if they were old friends.
Pet loss companies like EVERPETS even provide grief counselling, and the staff shared how pet owners grief differently when they lose their pets vs humans.
How much you grieve is equivalent to how much you love. Singaporeans truly love their pets.

11/12/2025

Many are curious about the rehab work I do with the incarcerated inside Changi prison, but I also work a alot with their families outside prison.
Everyone is grieving, but no one has died. They are grieving the loss of their freedom, jobs, health, and relationships, which decimates their identities, roles and self belief.
Although my job requires me to help them reintegrate back into society, I've come to realise that many families just want their pain to be witnessed. Much of this pain is grief--unspoken and nameless but lurking under more familiar emotions like sadness, anger and dissapointment.
When grief is experienced and witnessed in a group, I've seen how the most stoic start opening up. One father revealed, "I miss my son so much I enter his bedroom every night just so I can smell his pillow." Another son said, "Mom, I'm so afraid that I can't be the son you want me to be because I've disappointed you too many times."
There were no solutions nor quick fixes in their sharing, but perhaps there didn't need to be. All they needed was to have their grief and loss heard and validated, and for those privileged enough to be part of it all, we just need to listen.

06/12/2025

In 2016, I walked away from a toxic workplace of middle-aged people pleasers into a school, ready to part with a downpayment cheque for $1500 to study a Masters in Counselling. Almost 10 years later, I am now a Singapore Association of Counsellors Clinical Member and Registered Counsellor.
I am certainly no richer in the bank, nor more "successful" than I was 10 years ago, but in a country that focuses on results something must be said about effort and staying the course.
I also know I couldn't have done this alone and give thanks to Ram N Dubey, the folks at Centre for Psychotherapy, Jessica Leong, Alpana Pal, Singapore Anglican Community Services , Singapore Prison Service, and especially the husbands, sons, daughters, wives and the incarcerated who have let me into their lives. What a privilege, thank you all!

01/12/2025

Beef chow fun.

23/11/2025

As the rest of SG hurriedly slipped into their Sat morning routine, about a hundred su***de "survivors" showed up to commemorate International Survival of Su***de Loss Day organised by the Samaritans of Singapore. After listening to stories of loss and grief and speaking to "survivors" themselves, these are my takeaways:

1. There was sadness aplenty but anger, resentment, and frustration were in the room, too.
2. There is a disquiet in the silence and unspoken that needs to be attended too, so why aren't we speaking up?
3. We have a long way to go holding space for su***de "survivors" because we are largely grief illiterate, resulting in anxiety and responses that border on offensiveness.
4. The power of storytelling cannot be underestimated. When we are heard and seen, our grief is witnessed and a big part of ourselves--including our pain--is validated and we somewhat soften.
5. The process of storytelling can subconsciously be an exercise in completion-- saying what you want to the deceased when you did or could not when he/she was alive.
6. I saw courage in the panellists, who shared their grief journey, but where does this courage come from? I believe courage comes from deep within themselves that despite all that has happened, they are worthy, they matter and now it's time to make others matter, too.

20/11/2025

09/11/2025

After four days of deep reflection on grief and loss, I am now a certified Grief Specialist through the internationally recognised and evidence-based Grief Recovery Method. But the real work of confronting my own losses continues within me, so I can better support others in their recovery process.

27/10/2025

Need I say more?

26/10/2025

I talk and listen to help others heal and connect back to themselves, but are words the only thing we should be listening to? I decided to participate in the Singapore Night Festival's Listening Biennale to explore what happens when I listen to the unspoken. What do I hear when I connect to my own body and others?
One key takeaway is the importance of being witnessed with observation and no judgment-in a dark room devoid of devices and mindless banter--and I felt safe, seen and heard. I felt I mattered.
But do we need to be in dark rooms to feel we matter?

15/10/2025

“I felt terrified every minute, and my chest felt tight and painful, ” says actress Rui En. This is her description of the depression she suffered for six months, so imagine experiencing this fear every 1,440 minutes per day or 263,000 minutes for half a year.
Most people associate depression with sadness and lethargy, but it is also terrifying. Many don't realise that when insomnia and rumination accompanies depression, the fear is no less than sitting on a roller coaster ride, only to discover that the seat belt is faulty, and it is too late to turn back. Except that with depression, this fear comes in waves and is multiplied for the entire duration of the mental illness.
The next time you meet someone who has depression, there isn't just sadness and hopeless, there is also fear.

The local star opened up about how she overcame her ordeal ahead of World Mental Health Day on Oct 10. Read more at straitstimes.com. Read more at straitstimes.com.

12/10/2025

Each caregiver in my podcast lost something dear to them, but none of their stress had anything to do with death, yet they were acting out and misunderstood.

Thank you to Temasek Foundation for making me the first podcaster recipient, but may I not be the last because this award proves that the power of storytelling can cut through entrenched narratives for healing.

The underlying theme of this podcast is actually grief, and it is my mission to continue transforming SG into a grief-literate society.