Smooth Transitions Psychotherapy

09/06/2025

Breaking the Cycle: Macaulay Culkin Chooses Love Over Legacy of Pain

“When I was a child, my father was abusive—physically and emotionally. By the time I was ten, I had already achieved everything he had ever wanted for himself.

I haven’t spoken to him in nearly 30 years. He went on to have seven children and now has four grandchildren—and not one of them wants anything to do with him.

As I grew up, I made myself a promise: I will never treat my children the way he treated me.

Now that I’m a father, I look at my kids and feel nothing but love and wonder. And I ask myself—how could he have acted that way? He had so many beautiful children. It breaks my heart.

So today, I make a conscious choice:
I choose presence.
I choose patience.
I choose love.

Because breaking the cycle isn’t just about healing—
It’s about refusing to carry someone else’s pain forward.
And that, in itself, is an act of love.”

— Macaulay Culkin

12/02/2025

This really resonated with me. What and how we speak to our kids becomes their inner voice. If we push, stress out, hold expectations that are too high, and shame our kids, this is how they will talk to themselves. Anxiety and depression are rooted in both our genes AND our environment. Please remember this 🙏🏼

🤯

Thanks, via We Nurture Collective

16/10/2024

I’m excited to share that I was recently awarded a license to practice school social work from the department of public instruction in the US State of Wisconsin. This means that I have demonstrated competence in counseling techniques for kids ages 5-18 as well as the ability to operate from a social justice lens and advocate for the vulnerable. In schools, this translates to assisting kids who have learning or physical disabilities and mental health issues that impede their learning and supporting families whose life conditions impact learning. In the context of expat families, these life conditions often include adjustment to life in a new country (or the processing of leaving the country) and the challenges this can involve. I volunteered for the past year at the British school in Etiler to gain these competencies, and I welcome new clients who are struggling in these areas.

09/06/2023

I have been working hard to improve the website of my company so that it adequately conveys the work I do work clients.

Living abroad is rewarding, but also wrought with challenges. Please contact me for online support if you find yourself needing it.

Www.smoothtransitionspsychotherapy.world

13/04/2023

26/02/2023

MENTAL HEALTH “FIRST AID”: Understanding Trauma and the Steps You Can Take to Start Healing

⬆️ A free class for anyone impacted by the recent Earthquakes in Turkey and Syria.

❤️‍🩹 Specifically designed to help folks understand normal responses to a traumatic event, ways to mitigate against chronic mental health issues, and warning signs that one may benefit from the help of a trained professional.

❤️‍🩹 Informative and educational in nature

❤️‍🩹 Should not be viewed as a replacement for therapy.

Contact Heather Demir via WhatsApp at 0534 930 6175 to join.

29/11/2022

As my children grow, they give me subtle signs that their belief in Santa is waning. They both already have theorized (actually: “it’s a fact” 😂) that “mall” Santas are “Santa’s helpers”, and that the Santa they zoomed with last year isn’t “the real thing” either. Several years ago, I came across this post which I found so helpful, and especially relevant as my children grow: how to support that process while still holding to the magic - the “spirit” - of this special time of the year despite the loss.

This process has been a gradual one, and I have helped support them by introducing the concept of becoming “Santa’s helper” with our special neighbors and with family members as we consider what they may like or need for Christmas. We have read about the historical St. Nicholas, and the myth of Santa Claus. And we have talked about Christmas as a season of “good deeds.”

If you find yourself in the same place this year, read this piece from the Huffington Post: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/a-lovely-non-traumatizing-way-to-break-the-news-about-santa-to-your-kids_n_5845b3c6e4b028b323389153.

27/09/2022

Neurodiversity: This word is now commonplace in describing those children who process information in a way that diverges from most of the population. Until my son’s diagnoses of dyslexia and ADD, I had not heard this word. I had been listening to my brother discuss the unique strengths and challenges of his daughter, who has managed the challenges which come with sensory processing disorder since starting school and who is awaiting evaluation for autism. But until unique challenges started affecting the life of my own child, I hadn’t done the research. 📚

I believe most parents see strengths in their children, including those whose face substantial challenges. So, when faced with a diagnosis, we can become defensive, denying it, or block our minds to the possibility of such challenges thus stymieing the potential for our child’s positive growth. And this is understandable: diagnoses, by definition, are “problems” that we try to fix. 🔨

Now, I would argue that it is our educational system that really needs fixing, but that is an overwhelming task that will likely take more time than our child’s time in the system itself. So, we must find a way for our unique children to thrive in a system that is not designed for their way of processing information and seeing the world. Eyes 👀 🌍

This book is an amazing resource for parents who are just coming to terms with their unique children. It highlights the strengths of each distinct diagnosis, rather than challenges, and areas in which these children can thrive now and into adulthood. It provides hope, inspiration, and affirmation for the unique possibilities that these children possess. For they really do possess largely unrecognized gifts to this world. 🌈✨

13/03/2022

I never knew how hard parenting could be until my son turned 8. Or nearly. Stuck between a small child and a pr***en, he has been pushing hard for more freedom this year. It’s been a struggle. And because he and his younger sister are so close, she’s looking to join him.

Like many parents, especially those raising their children in a large city, I have basic concerns about letting them go to the park, go to the market, or on to a neighbors apartment down the road without an adult. Here in Istanbul, people do not expect to see children unaccompanied, and so crossing the street alone could be a real danger for them. There are no crossing guards, so I don’t trust that they will be safe walking to school, despite it being only about 1.5 miles away.

Reading this book has been helpful in affirming that it is okay to let go, to expand freedoms as children age. That the possibility of kidnappings and accidents are really very minimal. That most people really are helpful. And that kids really do learn and develop only when given the freedom to succeed or fail which comes with a certain amount of freedom.

I still will not let my 8 and 5 year olds cross a major road here in Istanbul, but they did have a major life experience buying cream cheese at the korner market this morning.❤️

(This book is available from my lending library to Istanbul residents. Please DM for details.)

24/12/2021

Our family is been going through a lot the past couple months. I’ve been transitioning to a full case load, and some unexpected health issues for both of our families has been stressful for both my husband and me.

I noticed the anxiety and frustration building this month, and decided to dedicate my Friday mornings to self-care. This is the only time in my life I’ve had the luxury of being able to do this, and I am grateful for that.

This Christmas Eve, I’m treating myself to a message - the first since July, around my birthday. As parents, we carry the responsibility of our families and children on our shoulders, in addition to whatever work obligations we may have. As we grow older, we begin to carry the responsibility for our own parents as well. It’s a lot. And as the holidays approach, we think of how we can make others feel happy. But sometimes, in all that hustle, we forget about ourselves. So, my challenge for you (mom or dad), is: What will you do this holiday season for you?