12/15/2025
I once read that in Japan, love is not measured by passion, dramatic gestures, or flowers given on special occasions. It is defined by something far quieter, respect for personal space.
Love there is not about constant closeness or endless reassurance. While many of us believe, “If you love someone, you must always be together,” the Japanese perspective gently suggests, “If you love someone, you allow them to breathe.”
There is even a concept known as oyakake bukaeru, the comfort of shared silence. Sitting beside someone for an hour without speaking, not out of tension or distance, but because the presence itself feels complete. In many cultures, silence is treated as a problem to solve. In Japan, it is seen as depth.
Love does not mean merging lives entirely. It is common for couples to sleep in separate rooms, travel separately, or nurture different passions. Independence is not a lack of love. Space is not abandonment. What truly matters is honoring each other’s inner world without intrusion.
Happiness is not something demanded from a partner. It is the calm and safety you bring into the relationship. Perhaps this is why relationships there feel less emotionally exhausting, not because love is weaker, but because it is gentler.
Maybe the secret lies in relationships built not on possession, but on respect. On quiet care. On the freedom to simply exist beside one another. 🌿