SZTherapy

04/24/2026

Understanding Toxicity in Family Dynamics

🌱 The more toxic a person is, the less likely they are to be challenged within their family. This insight can help us navigate our relationships and cultivate healthier dynamics.
Here are six key points to consider:
1. Recognizing Toxic Patterns: Understand that toxicity often thrives in silence. Acknowledging toxic behavior is the first step towards change.
2. Fear of Conflict: Family members may avoid confronting a toxic person due to fear of confrontation or potential backlash. Addressing this can be empowering for everyone involved.
3. Cycle of Enabling: Many families unknowingly enable toxic behavior by not calling it out. Breaking this cycle can help foster accountability and healthier interactions.
4. The “Poke the Bear” Metaphor: Challenging a toxic individual may feel like provoking a sleeping bear—but it’s crucial for personal and collective growth.
5. Building Stronger Boundaries: Setting clear boundaries can minimize exposure to toxic behaviors and protect your mental health, leading to healthier family dynamics.
6. Seeking Support: If dealing with a toxic family member feels overwhelming, consider reaching out to a counselor or support group. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
💬 Let’s create a conversation around toxicity in families. Share your thoughts or experiences below. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your emotional well-being!

04/22/2026

🌟 Embrace True Kindness! 🌟
Self denial isn’t the kindness you might think it is—it’s people pleasing. 💡

It’s okay to proactively care for yourself with others.

Here are 12 signs you might be a people pleaser:
1. You say yes too often.
🌱What to do: Plan to say no more often than yes. Practice saying, “Thank you for considering me for that, but I don’t have capacity right now.”
2. You apologize unnecessarily.
🌱What to do: Shift your language to be kind without self-diminishing: “I an happy to own my part, can we discuss your role in this?”
3. You take on the emotions of others.
🌱What to do: Remember, their feelings are often about them, not you.
4. You keep quiet to avoid conflict.
🌱What to do: Get comfortable voicing your opinion assertively. It’s okay to say, “When we avoid these conversations, it affects [the relationship, the work environment, or specific outcomes]. I think it’s important for us to communicate openly and to address any issues directly.”
5. You struggle to set boundaries.
🌱What to do: Be firm but fair, “I am not open to that; here’s my limit” without over-explaining.
6. You avoid asking for help.
🌱What to do: Begin with small requests, like asking for a favor.
7. You feel guilty for self-care.
🌱What to do: Reframe self-care as self-respect. YOU are the source …refill frequently.
8. You constantly seek validation.
🌱What to do: Reflect on whether your actions are for you or for approval.
9. You’re drained from helping.
🌱What to do: Notice resentment—it’s a sign you’ve given too much.
10. You can’t make decisions alone.
🌱What to do: Trust your judgment by making small decisions solo.
11. You struggle to accept praise.
🌱What to do: No deflecting, simply say, “Thank you.”
12. You feel uneasy if others are upset.
🌱What to do: Accept that discomfort is temporary and can be good. You can’t control other people’s feelings & moods. Shift out of discomfort by staying present with difficult feelings, instead of avoiding.

Thanks for the reminder. 🙏🏼

04/04/2026

Pastors being discovered in emotional and/or s*xual relationships with staff or congregants, sadly, is not a new thing. It’s likely happening down the road from most of us. Gratefully, how we are talking about it is a new!

Thanks to psychological research, we now know how deeply power and control dynamics run, so we can better support victims of clergy s*xual abuse.

📌 fyi: Nobody is having a “consensual affair” with their pastor. Instead, they are being victimized and abused by power and platform in the name of God.

04/04/2026

Pastors being discovered in relationships with staff or congregants, sadly, is not a new thing. It’s likely happening down the road from most of us. Gratefully, how we are talking about it is a new!

Thanks to psychological research, we now know how deeply power and control dynamics run, so we can better support victims of clergy s*xual abuse.

📌 fyi: Nobody is having a “consensual affair” with their pastor. Instead, they are being victimized and abused by power and platform in the name of God.

04/04/2026

Caring for yourself is not a betrayal of your marriage - it's faithfulness to what God entrusted to you.

If you're in a difficult marriage and hesitating to reach out for help because it feels disloyal, hear this:

Getting support is stewardship, not selfishness.

Too many Christian women have been taught that seeking support means you're not trusting God enough. That telling the truth is gossip.

That's isolation disguised as faithfulness.

God designed us for community. He never intended you to carry this weight alone while pretending everything is fine.

Getting help is wisdom. Protecting your mental health honors God.

CONQUER is a safe community for women walking through biblical healing together. Doors open 4/1 -4/10. Visit leslievernick.com to learn more.

04/02/2026

🌟 Awareness Month: Sending Love to SA Survivors 🌟

This month, I take a moment to honor and extend support to all survivors. You are not alone in your journey.
I am with you. 1 in 5 of us are. ❤️‍🩹

To those who:
🤍Aren’t ready to speak up
🤍Are trying to navigate the trauma
🤍Have been dismissed or not believed
🤍Are trying their best to heal
🤍Are trying to reclaim their bodies
🤍Feel unseen or unheard

Your feelings are valid, and your experiences matter. Remember, healing is a unique journey, and it’s okay to take your time. 🕊️

If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out for support. You deserve to be heard, believed, and cared for.

03/28/2026

03/22/2026

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Imagine going to culinary school and all they taught you about was salmonella.

Too often, this is what churches do. They give us very little information, teach us about what could go wrong, and then have the audacity to ask us for a masterpiece when we take our vows.

How can we succeed or enjoy our bodies when this is the messaging we receive?

I think about s*xual health as a river with many important tributaries that flow into it.

In my research for Desire, I surveyed thousands of people about the messages they received about s*x growing up. One participant described it plainly: their faith community taught her that her adolescent body was dangerous. She was discipled to fear her own arousal AND be responsible for the desires of grown men who were likely to objectify her.

We can and must do better for ourselves and our kids. If not, we will consign our children to experience shame and judgment in one of the most beautiful areas of their life.

Desire is where I go deeper on all of this — the science behind what we were taught, why it shaped us the way it did, and how we find our way back to our bodies.

Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow is available now. Grab your copy today wherever books are sold, or: https://ow.ly/XTVm50Yx2GE

03/21/2026

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