SZTherapy

12/30/2025

12/29/2025

One thing I’ve learned as a therapist is that people will do almost anything to avoid the growth required of them.

That avoidance usually takes one of three forms.

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐮𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐲.
They try to convert trauma into triumph. Growth becomes a project to manage. A body to optimize. A new finding to chase. Improvement replaces the deeper need for presence.

𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.
They believe their problems are inevitable and any attempt to change them would only lead to deeper misery. Over time, this settles way of life into depression, cynicism, or self-sabotage.

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.
They look for relief through admiration, achievement, or relationships that make them feel chosen. Instead of forming a self through risk and being formed through adversity, they borrow an identity from the world around them.

All three are understandable. And all three keep us from the work growth requires.

Growth does not come from trying harder, giving up, or polishing our outer lives. It is formed in a crucible with no exits. A space where old strategies stop working and we can no longer improve, resign, or perform our way forward.

For years, my work has focused on helping people understand the meaning of their struggles. The work ahead is different. It is about formation. It is about learning how a life, a self, and a way of wanting are shaped over time.

That path is not random. In 𝘋𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘳𝘦, I draw on research and years of clinical practice to show how people actually grow and change, and what their lives can teach us about being formed with intention.

12/27/2025

I only work with survivors of narcissistic abuse — here’s what they ALL have in common…

They didn’t fall in love too fast. They were conditioned to stay too long.
They are deeply empathetic, self-aware, and capable of taking accountability — which is exactly why the manipulation worked. They questioned themselves before they ever questioned the abuse.

They gave the benefit of the doubt repeatedly, believing in potential instead of patterns. They tried to communicate, to fix, to heal, to understand — while slowly abandoning their own needs in the process. They were made to feel like they were “too sensitive,” “too emotional,” or “asking for too much,” until they began to shrink themselves just to keep the peace.

They remember the good version of the person and kept waiting for it to come back, not realizing it was a mask — not a phase. They experienced confusion more than anger, exhaustion more than hate, and self-blame more than clarity. Their nervous systems stayed in survival mode, constantly hyper-vigilant, always bracing for the next shift in mood, tone, or affection.

They didn’t leave because they were weak. They stayed because they were loyal, hopeful, and trauma-bonded. And when they finally did leave, it wasn’t dramatic — it was quiet, numb, and heartbreaking. By the time it ended, they weren’t even crying anymore. They just wanted peace.

And the most important thing they all have in common?
They heal. They wake up. They reclaim their voice, their boundaries, and their sense of self. They stop explaining their pain to people committed to misunderstanding them. And one day, they realize the abuse didn’t break them — it revealed how strong they’ve always been.
“Andy Burg”

12/23/2025

🧠⬇️…

12/10/2025

📌 This is an important watch for parents of littles and clinicians alike.

12/03/2025

🛑 Understanding Domestic Violence: The Power & Control Wheel 🛑
This powerful graphic illustrates the many forms of abuse that can occur in domestic violence situations. It’s crucial to recognize that it’s not just physical—abuse can manifest in emotional, financial, and psychological ways too.
👉 Awareness is Key: Each segment of the wheel highlights tactics abusers might employ, from intimidation and isolation to economic abuse and emotional manipulation.
💜 Support is Vital: If you or someone you know is experiencing any form of abuse, it’s important to seek help. No one deserves to be in a situation where they feel threatened or controlled.
🙌 Speak Up: Let’s work together to spread awareness and support victims. Share this post to help educate others on the signs of domestic violence.

11/29/2025

https://www.cnbc.com/2025/11/27/psychologists-this-is-one-of-the-strongest-predictors-of-a-happy-relationship.html?link_source=ta_first_comment&taid=692a37aa9ffc8e0001d4a4f3&utm_campaign=trueanthem&utm_content=main&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwZnRzaAOYBpJleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZAo2NjI4NTY4Mzc5AAEealkOxXht6vlaucwjMD7xvmw9HCXEeS-pm6qdlXAA25a6tSLFdQ1t-U-o_a8_aem_pL39CPhDvIorK3S2hwzScg

Couples counselor Baya Voce says that this green flag is a sure sign of relationship success, but it can be "hard to spot early on."

11/29/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/17jaBV2wyx/?mibextid=wwXIfr

11/15/2025

Calling Out Focus on the Family’s Harmful Mixed Messages: Telling domestic violence victims to leave, but mentioning "divorce is a sin" twice

11/15/2025

🌱 Growth Through Love 💖
In relationships, many couples find themselves feeling stuck, often because of a mindset that says, “This is who I am, take it or leave it.” This attitude can create walls rather than bridges, leading to stagnation instead of growth.

When we stay rigid in our identities, we miss the opportunity to evolve alongside our partners. Healthy relationships should inspire us to reflect and work on our negative or toxic traits. 💔

Here’s why this matters:
1. Communication is Key: True love fosters open dialogue. When partners actively listen to each other’s feelings and emotions, they create a safe space for vulnerability. 🤝
2. Mutual Growth: Embracing the idea that both individuals can change and grow strengthens the bond. A supportive partner will encourage you to be your best self. 🌱
3. Breaking Patterns: Remaining stuck in old habits damages relationships. Challenging ourselves to address these behaviors not only helps us but also enriches our connection.

Remember, being in a relationship should motivate you to improve and deepen your love. Let’s create an atmosphere of growth—where both partners strive to be better together! 💪❤️

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