02/21/2026
Most arguments arenât about the dishes.
Or the text message.
Or the tone.
Theyâre about what it felt like.
Distance.
Rejection.
Pressure.
Disconnection.
When one nervous system feels distance, it moves closer.
When the other feels pressure, it moves away.
And just like that â the cycle begins.
The more one pursues, the more the other withdraws.
The more one withdraws, the more the other pursues.
Neither person is the villain.
Both are protecting themselves.
The real breakthrough isnât winning the argument.
Itâs noticing the pattern while itâs happening.
Because once you can name the cycle,
you can choose something different.
Save this for the next time you feel the pull.
And if this feels familiar â youâre not alone.