Heartfelt Healing

04/26/2022

The Art of Gentleness

“Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”
Rumi

Our modern world seems to be a world where gentleness is out of place. We are facing wars, famine, rampaging diseases and a looming climate crisis. Ambition, competition and unrestrained power seem more descriptive of what we would expect to encounter. Gentleness is more likely to be heard in commercials for face cream or laundry detergent. Gentleness was once valued, and described the actions and bearing of individuals. But no more. Gentleness as a personal attribute today is seen as sentimental and weak, something to be avoided. Strength, courage, fortitude, even ruthlessness – these are the attributes we have come to value most. Yet we seem to be missing something important, not only to us personally, but to our world as well. Gentleness is almost a spiritual quality, an attribute of those who understand that power comes from within and cannot be taken from others. Those who understand this do not fear appearing weak by exhibiting gentleness.

Gentleness may seem acceptable in parenting or healing, but is not usually applauded as something to be valued when dealing with others. We are taught from an early age that we live in a dog-eat-dog world, a world where gentleness is a sign of weakness. While gentleness may be acceptable in women, it is not acceptable in men. Even those women who seek success in the worlds of business or politics are expected to act in a strong, almost ruthless manner. Those who show signs of gentleness are often seen as willing victims in a world where domination and control of others is taken as a sign of strength, power and success. Although our popular culture tells stories of gentle beings, it is the strong and powerful who are lionized on the evening news. Gentleness is more often seen as a pretense, not a manner of behaving, a means to an end. That is a loss for us as individuals as as a society.

Gentleness is a choice, actually an act of strength and composure. A gentle person remains calm, puts people at ease, as active instead of reactive, prefers persuasion over intimidation, and waits patiently for change to occur. John Locke said, “Gentleness is far more successful in all its enterprises than violence, indeed violence generally frustrates its own purpose, while gentleness scarcely ever fails.” The philosopher Anne Dufourmantelle reminds us that the key moments of our lives are marked by gentleness, especially gentleness at the beginning and at the end of life. Art, music and poetry use subtle color and form to explore gentleness in a more pragmatic form. And the great figures of religion all promoted gentleness to their followers. Somehow, we seem to have lost sight of what was once regarded as a worthwhile human quality.

Gentleness is an attribute, a worthy part of character, that we should all try to exhibit. There are plenty of competitive, ruthless people in this world. Their world of greed, violence and destruction is all around us, and that world rarely serves our interests. Its failings are becoming more and more obvious. Indeed, gentleness and respect for each other will go much further in creating a better world than the practices of domination and control, our current practices, will ever achieve. The world is turning away from business as usual and the harm it does to both people and the environment. We are turning toward a system that promotes equality and equity, a system that respects and values both people and the Earth. So what would this world look like? It would be a world where all forms of life are respected. It would be a world where empathy and compassion are commonplace. It would be a world in which differences are tolerated, even celebrated, instead of provoking hatred and violence. A gentler world would be a world in which kindness, toward ourselves and others, is the rule. It is hard to imagine that such a world would be found wanting.

Reposted from robertpgill.blogspot.com

We can hope that a gentler world will somehow appear. Or we can start creating such a world for ourselves and others. Taking Rumi's advice would be a good place to start.

04/12/2022

A Path Through Grief to Life

“There is deep beauty in not averting our gaze. No matter how hard it is, no matter how heartbreaking it can be. It is about presence. It is about bearing witness.”
Terry Tempest Williams

Our culture seems to prompt us to avoid grief, to put it aside in favor of a more “productive “ pursuit. But is that really productive? Grief is a natural emotion, a way of dealing with loss. Many cultures treat grief as a normal part of life, and freely express grief when appropriate. Yet our Western culture often fails to deal with grief, preferring to push it aside. We almost seem to regard grief as a personal failure, a character flaw, a failure to get on with the business of life. We are embarrassed, uncomfortable with the expression of grief, by ourselves or others. We want to look away, even run away. But grief is real – it exists whether we want it to or not. We may be able to suppress grief for a short period, but eventually it will emerge, perhaps in a form we don't want.

We fail to recognize that grief plays a significant role in our development and maturity. We grow as humans by experiencing both gains and losses, by celebrating our successes and grieving our losses. Without the full range of emotions, we cannot hope to mature in a balanced fashion. No matter how hard we try, we cannot avoid grief. We can submerge it, push it aside, but it will only break out somewhere else, perhaps when we least expect it. Our current world, beset by wars, disease and a looming climate disaster can cause grief in spite of our efforts to avoid it. As we grow in life experiences, we learn that we cannot transform grief through denial. We have to accept our grief and work through it. No one can do it for us. We have to do it for ourselves. We then learn that grief is a cleansing process. It lifts our souls by allowing us to cleanse the weight of our losses, and free us to move forward. Grief is an essential process in life.

C.S. Lewis, in his book entitled “A Grief Observed,” said, “No one ever told me that grief was so much like fear.” Grief and fear are related, and fear is why we try to avoid grief. We are social animals, and fear tends to make us feel isolated form others. We also feel isolated in our grief, and so we try to avoid grief. We fear isolation as much as we fear grief. Sorrow is like an underground river, it is always with us, even when we don't acknowledge it. Roshi Joan Halifax said, “Our ability to navigate these waters might be complicated by the fact that most of us have also lost touch with the myths, stories, practices and rituals that in former generations have helped give meaning to loss, death and grief.” She also said, “Our struggles usually begin when we don't attend sufficiently to the painful, strong emotions which can flood us after the loss of a loved one, the loss of a patient, the loss of a way of life.” We are far better off to accept our grief and work through it than we are to try to avoid that grief. We need the relief and cleansing that grief provides.

Grief is what makes us human. It deepens our sense of empathy, and can increase our capacity for compassion and insight. Loss can teach us to be compassionate toward others by being compassionate toward our own self and our own loss. It allows us to examine the things we have lost and determine how important they were to us. Loss teaches us what we value, and what principles we hold dear, and it teaches us what is important to us. And in learning what we value and what gives our lives meaning and purpose, our lives are changed forever. This transformative experience of grief and loss can teach us the power of gratitude for what we have, and resilience to face the tribulations that life presents from time to time. As Terry Tempest Williams reminds us, our growth and transformation comes not from turning away, but from remaining present, witnessing and accepting our grief over our losses. It is our presence in the face of grief that helps us through. Running away only delays the inevitable reckoning.

Grief, like fear, is a powerful emotion. It we wish to grow and mature, to transform our life in the direction of humility, gratitude and compassion for ourselves and others, we must embrace our grief and work through it as best we can. There really is no other way.

Reposted from robertpgill.blogspot.com

03/29/2022

Embracing Authenticity

“Our happiness comes not as a goal, but
as a byproduct of engaging in honesty with ourselves.”
Susan David

We are often being told to be positive, to look on the bright side. Positivity is seen as a virtue in our society. Positive thinking, made famous by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, has been around for awhile, has made its way into our popular culture, and even into the practice of psychology. No matter what the situation is, being positive is the “right” thing to do. But is it? Russell Wilson, a physician and neuroscientist, asked,”Have you ever tried to think differently than how your body feels? You can do it for awhile, but in general, it's like Sisyphus endlessly pushing a rock up an incline.” Psychologists are beginning to question whether full-time positivity is a good thing, and the verdict is that it may not be. We don't yet have a definitive answer, but we can certainly identify potential problems with the practice of constant positivity.

Resilience is the personal attribute that helps us cope with the curveballs life tends to throw at us. This is the capability to absorb the shock and bounce back. Resilience is not a simple skill to practice, but we can develop it. Resilience leads us to admit to and accept our emotions about the situations we find ourselves in, but not to become a hostage to those emotions. Our emotions tell us what we value, but we must look beyond our emotions to really discern our values . Victor Frankl, a survivor of the N**i death camps, said, “between stimulus and response there is a space, and in that space is our power to choose, and its in that choice that comes our growth and freedom.” Only when we can step outside our emotions can we find the path beyond the emotion. When we practice positivity, we just suppress our emotions and try to pretend they have no effect on us. In truth, we end up lying to ourselves, denying the authenticity of our emotions.

Cognitive strategies can be an important part of emotional well-being. But resorting to constant positive thinking ensures we will never heal from our traumas. It may make us uncomfortable, but healing our traumas means we must face our emotions and how they make us feel. John Welwood, a Buddhist teacher and psychotherapist, coined the phrase “Spiritual Bypassing” to describe the tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds and unfinished developmental tasks. When we suppress our emotions and avoid facing our personal traumas, we risk developing PTSD. And the only effective treatment for PTSD is to face our trauma, accept our emotional responses and allow ourselves to feel and process the emotions. Only then can we really hope to heal. As Russell Wilson says, “Understanding the source of your grief and trauma is important, but there must be time to simply sit with it and feel it without automatically and compulsively adding thought to it. Trying to think our way through just doesn't do the job.

Authenticity means we are able to accept who and what we are and embrace our emotions, our strengths and our flaws. Authenticity means we accept both the beauty and the fragility of life. In the process, we learn to be compassionate with ourselves, if only so we can live with ourselves. We find out what our values are by experiencing our emotions and learning what they tell us about what we value. When we examine our emotions, we are trying to understand why we are experiencing them, what emotions our values triggered, and why. We begin to understand how our values explain the kind of person we want to be. And then we discover that others who experience similar emotions likely share the same values. We develop more compassion for ourselves, and compassion for others becomes easier. Authenticity leads us to develop a society that is driven, not by emotions, but by values.

Only by embracing authenticity can we truly become the person we want to be, a person driven by love of self and others. A person who can accept what is, but not settle for it. A person who works to make this world a better place to live for everyone.

Reposted from robertpgill.blogspot.com

03/15/2022

The Heroes We Need

“You are the noble, you are the wise, you are the human, you are the kind.”
Hero, song by the Makepeace Brothers

The word “hero” has become overused and hackneyed to the point that it is becoming meaningless in our daily discourse. And that is unfortunate. A truly meaningful word has been reduced to a banal shell of its former self because of our need to glorify the normal. The same need for recognition and celebration of the everyday aspects of our life causes us to debase our culture. We celebrate violence by lionizing its practitioners, calling them heroes because they embody the violence of our society, because they put aside their nobility, their wisdom and their humanity in pursuit of domination and power. Our mindless pursuit of glory at all cost has led us to ignore the reality that some of us choose not to rise to the level of “greatness” as defined by society. Not because we can't, but because we choose not to. No excuses, and no reason to hang our head in shame. If we are happy and fulfilled as we are, the pursuit of greatness as defined by society has little meaning. Although there are real heroes around us, an overused word loses its power to connote true heroism, and cheapens the concept in our minds, even if we are not fully aware of that impact.

Heroism – true heroism – does exist in our society, and is easily identified when we see it. True heroism is not limited to certain occupations. Heroism is identified by action. Media attention is not essential, nor is recognition by political leaders awarding medals. In fact, such attention can be counter-productive and distracting. Real heroes act not our of a desire for power, dominance or recognition, but in response to a need for action. Sometimes we are not even aware of heroic acts, but that doesn't lessen their importance. And sometimes we see a heroic act and fail to recognize it for what it is. The two common elements in all heroic acts are the desire to help another living thing in a situation where they are unable to help themselves, and the inherent hazards to the heroic person by acting. For example, rescuing a person from a burning building exposes the rescuer to the danger of fire while rescuing another person. This example is obvious. Not all acts of heroism are so obvious.

We have a tendency as human beings to recognize heroism in others only when their actions don't make us uncomfortable, only when they make us feel good about ourselves. But those who are noble, wise, human and kind can often make us uncomfortable, especially those who draw our attention to the foibles of being human. This is especially true of those who draw our attention to injustice or the infliction of injury on innocent victims. Heroism is not about our feelings, but about fulfilling a need in our society. Those who act do so because they see a need and choose to act. Our nobility, our wisdom, our humanity and our in-born kindness all work to help us act when action is needed. When we challenge the injustices of our world, we act in the tradition of all heroes past. Whether we save another's life from danger, or put an end to an injustice, our actions are heroic. And if we realize that, we have all the recognition we need.

There are a number of heroic examples in our world that are not obvious until we examine them. Those who demonstrated for basic human rights in the 1950's and 1960's America faced substantial risk, including the risk of injury or death, to gain rights that other Americans already enjoyed. Some lost their lives, many were beaten, and eventually they gained legal recognition, if not the full rights they sought. But they made us uncomfortable in the process, if only because they brought our attention to a real injustice. They were heroes, but few were recognized as such, then or now. In our modern world, there are those who risk careers, livelihoods and reputation to bring our attention to something we have tried mightily to ignore. Think Colin Kapernick, a man who lost a promising career to bring the subject of police brutality to our attention. Many did not want to pay attention at the time, and others refused to believe him. Some even vilified him. He chose to expose a painful aspect of American society, an act of courage to help others, and he lost his career as a result. There are many others to numerous to mention, but you can identify them if you take time to think about it.

Heroism is acting in response to a need to save others from harm. When we truly understand the nature of heroism, we find examples all around us. It is time to open our eyes, that we may see what is right in front of us.

Reposted from robertpgill.blogspot.com

03/07/2022

Have you ever experiences an Akashic Records Reading in this lifetime? Everyone has their own personal library of all the lives they have ever lived since the beginning of time. Your library is chocked full of information that can bring clarity to your present life situation. Many questions can be answered regarding current relationships, repeating patterns that don't serve you well and much more. Your spiritual team is waiting to meet you and work with you on making this lifetime the best ever!
Booking a session is simple. You can reach out to me to schedule an appointment via email, text,phone or dm. Sessions usually last about 1 hr. Looking forward to hearing from you!

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03/01/2022

Earth's Healing Power

“To touch the earth is to move into harmony with nature.”
Oglala Sioux

One of the great consequences of our modern age is our increasing divorce from our natural world. The more we adopt electronic technology like cellphones, computers and video games, the further away we get from nature. As we have lost touch with the feel and aura of the Earth, we have also lost touch with Earth's healing power. Just as plants need soil (Earth) to grow, our human bodies also need contact with Earth if we are to flourish. There is plenty of anecdotal evidence that contact with nature is good for our health. Many indigenous cultures knew this. The Japanese practice “forest bathing” to promote well-being. Contact with Earth helps to release tension in the body, allowing us to relax and release harmful toxins created by the constant stress of everyday living. But our modern style of living tends to separate us from nature, with detrimental impact on our health.

Science has proven that the Earth has more healing power than we realize. The water in your body acts as a conduit for the Earth's negative ionic charge. And we know that negative ionic charges promote growth and healing, as proven by Dr. Robert Becker, M.D., and described in his book, The Body Electric, Electromagnetism and the Foundation of Life. The Earth's negative ionic charge is constantly being replenished by lightning strikes occurring around the world. When we make direct contact with the Earth, in our bare feet or our bodies, we join ourselves to the Earth's negative current, a current so small we cannot feel it, but our body is aware of it. And this contact synchronizes our internal biological clocks, our hormonal cycles and our physiological rhythms to the rhythm of the Earth. A secondary benefit is a supply of free electrons that function as anti-oxidants, a major weapon against disease.

James Oschman, PhD, has performed research in biophysics and cell biology, and this research led him to conclude that the body possesses a semi-conductive “fabric” that connects every cell in the body. Every time the body touches anything, contact is made with every cell in this interconnected network. The network forms an anti-oxidant defense network that defends the body. When we touch the Earth, we absorb electrons from the Earth that feed our anti-oxidant defense system. Grounding ourselves to the Earth helps balance our immune system and helps reduce pain. Candace Pert, PhD, believes that Oschman's research represents a new vision of the human body as “a liquid crystal under tension, capable of vibrating at a number of frequencies.” This energy body is capable of attracting and using the energy of the Earth for healing and to fight disease. A recent psychological study reported in 2015 that “earthing” may be the simplest way to improve our mood and mitigate the effects of negative emotions like anxiety, stress, and depression.

Our health and well-being can only be enhanced by regaining contact with the Earth. There are a number of ways we can attract Earth's energy to us. Earlier, we mentioned the Japanese practice of “forest bathing,” which involves spending time in the forest, preferably walking barefoot or sitting on the ground. We can do the same thing, and we don't need to go to a forest. A lawn will do. So will a sandy beach. Anywhere that we can come in close physical contact with the Earth will serve the purpose. We need to avoid paved surfaces, wood, plastic or rubber that serve as insulators. All these surfaces will prevent us from contacting the Earth and receiving Earth's energies. Other sources of Earth's energies include contact with animals and with raw vegetables that lived and grew in contact with the Earth, but these are not as good as direct contact between our bodies and the Earth.

We need regular contact with the Earth if we are going to enjoy the benefits of Earth's healing powers. It's not hard to do, and helps replenish our body's immune system. Taking time to contact Earth can improve both our physical and emotional health.

Reposted from robertpgill.blogspot.com

02/15/2022

Knowledge Forgotten, Wisdom Lost

“Our consciousness has become divorced not just from the land
under our feet but from the unseen worlds that surround us.”
- Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

Our indigenous ancestors lived in a world very different from ours. While this statement might seem obvious, its meaning is not as clear as it might seem at first glance. The early hunter-gatherer societies lived quite well without all the things we seem to think are essential. The hunter-gatherers lived much closer to nature, much more in touch with the world around them. Hunter-gatherers found it necessary to be part of their environment, in fact, they viewed their physical surroundings very differently. In an hunter-gatherer society, they carried few possessions, but they did carry with them a conscious and close relationship with their external environment. They understood weather patterns, animal movements and all the aspects of their world they needed to survive. They even had a considerable knowledge of astronomy and the movement of the sun, the moon and the stars in the sky. We have lost the relationship with the natural world that our ancestors had. We have become more separated from our physical surroundings than we were even a few generations ago.

The natural world operates in a recurring pattern of processes and events that govern the seasons, the climate and the lives of all living things. While there have been variations over millennia in the past, those variations should have taught us that small changes can have major impacts. Science has verified that fact, and we have had repeated warnings over the past 50 years. We have been too preoccupied with the pursuit of material gain to pay attention. Our business and political leaders have been denying the problem that they believe threatens their future, and immediate gain is more important that long-term threats. Our business and political leaders must provide the leadership we need if we are to deal successfully with the problems that face us. And we have an obligation to relearn the lessons of the past. Winston Churchill famous said that “Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing, but only after they have tried everything else first.” If we don't prove Mr. Churchill wrong, we can only hope we learn our lessons quickly.

We are caught up in a natural world that is desperately demanding our attention about climate change and its impact on our environment and our weather. Unfortunately, we are so disconnected from our natural environment that we find it difficult, if not impossible, to recognize the problems that we face and what our future holds for us and our children. Our disconnection from our natural world has led us to believe that we can control our environment and take from it whatever we need, without fear of consequences. Indeed, many of us have come to believe that the same technological prowess that has been so destructive of our world will save us from the harm we have done. While technology may prove helpful in the end, nothing will work if we don't stop the destruction first. Our indigenous ancestors knew they cannot control nature; they must work in concert with the natural patterns and processes. We have forgotten that, and we are and will pay the price for our forgetfulness.

All is not lost. We still have time to avoid the worst consequences of our forgetfulness and our missteps. The time for finger-pointing and recriminations is past. It is time to act, and we all have a role to play in saving our future. Those who lead will act only if we push them. And we can act on a personal level in our own lives, in our buying decisions and in our actions. Businesses will pay attention if we change our buying habits and choose more sustainable products and services. We can demonstrate, write letters, support environmental organizations, and contact our elected representatives. The more we do, the more we will be noticed and the more we will be heard. Most of all, vote to protect our future and our children's future. If we refuse to support candidates who promise “more of the same,” we will get the candidates we want and need. We are not powerless unless we think and act as if we are.

It may be too late to completely mitigate the damage we have done to our climate and our world. But there is still time to act. It is up to us to remember or relearn the lessons of our indigenous ancestors, and live in concert with nature. If only we can. If only we will.

Reposted from robertpgill.blogspot.com

02/01/2022

The Garden of Democracy

“Democracy is a garden that has to be tended.”
Barack Obama

We've seen a lot of news stories recently about how democracy in America is in jeopardy, with attempts on multiple fronts to subvert elections or make it harder to vote. After all, our Declaration of Independence said that the legitimacy of a government is based on the consent of the governed. Did we really vote for the sort of things our representatives in Washington or in many state capitols are doing? Somebody did, or these things would not be happening because the folks doing things got voted into office by someone. Maybe they are not doing what they promised, or are doing things they never talked about in their campaigns, but things are still happening, with or without our consent. Is this really anything new? Frankly, those we vote for sometimes turn out to be different from what we expected, for better or for worse. Hence the jokes about the reliability of the spoken words of our political leaders.

There is nothing really new about those in positions of power doing everything to protect and increase their power. Nor is it unusual for those in power to help those who helped them acquire power. That is how our system of government works. It may not be how our founders intended the system to function, but that is really what happens today. The system of government we have exists because we allow it to exist. Barack Obama is right. Democracy is a garden that needs to be tended to. Otherwise, weeds are likely to flourish. Democracy is a participatory activity. The question is how we can best bring our gardening skills to bear on our government, at all levels. It is unreasonable to expect our elected representatives to know what we think about the issues of the day if we don't tell them. Unfortunately, most of us limit our participation to voting, and the percentage of the population exercising their right to vote has been declining over time. Even fewer of us bother to contact our representatives. We leave it to lobbyists and campaign contributors to advise our representatives on the issues of the day and the need for government action. Our silence implies our consent. And we get the kind of government we consent to.

What is wrong with this picture? We are living in a participatory system, but limiting our participation. Yet we expect our system of government to function effectively even in our absence. The Preamble to the Constitution says that we established our form of government to “promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity.” We did not establish our government to serve the needs and wants of a few, but to benefit all of us. Which brings us back to the idea of participation. We can act in our own self-interest, or we could act for the good of everyone – the common good, the “general Welfare.” Participation is the key. Government works for everyone only when everyone participates. Otherwise, only the voices of the lobbyists, their clients, and the campaign contributors are heard, and they benefit from their participation. The rest of us seem to get lost in the shuffle.

How would things change if we believed we had a duty as a citizen to participate, we had a duty to vote, and we had a duty to tell our representatives what we think about the issues of the day? How would things change if we acted on that belief? That would give a new meaning to “consent of the governed.” Perhaps our elected representatives would take a real interest in their constituents at times when they were not running for election or reelection. Is all this realistic? We have become disinterested in government, perhaps because we are too busy with our daily lives, or perhaps because our leaders and their allies have promoted the idea that we can count on them to do the “right” thing for us. We know that really isn't true. Sadly, that knowledge has not translated into action. It certainly is more convenient to go about our lives without paying attention to what our representatives are doing, but that is the lazy way out. Margaret Mead, the famous anthropologist, is reported to have said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, that is the only thing that ever has.” Experience has repeatedly shown that voting matters, that contacting our representatives works. We can and should remind them that we are watching their actions and will vote accordingly. Of course, this also means that we need to do the hard work of thinking for ourselves, researching issues, and forming our own opinions. Acting as a responsible citizen requires nothing less from us.

We can change our nation and our government simply by tending the garden of democracy and acting as responsible citizens. That may not always be easy, but it is essential if we don't want weeds to take over.

Reposted from robertpgill.blogspot.com