06/21/2020
You were the best part of my life for the last two years. Nashville wasn’t just a home, it was the place where I would meet my best friend for life and ever after. •
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I’m still sitting in my car sobbing unable to open the door, because I’ll have to take my first steps without you. I’m scared to not have who I’ve come to know as my lifeline, sister, soul keeper, and teacher by my side as I do one of the hardest things in my adult life. But, with everything I have, I’ll grab this handle, swing open the door, correctly turn to face my exit (because we now know how to PROPERLY exit a car and we’re f’ing morons every time we try to get out of Jane), and take the most empowered deep breath without you by my side for the first time in our friendship. Knowing full well that everything in me is made better because you’ve held it dear, kept it safe, and encouraged it to keep growing. •
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So I’ll walk back into the (empty) apartment where you helped me start my home. I’ll try to light that bu****it candle we just bought because the vibe in here is… and laugh at walking around trying to light the wood wicks for 10 minutes shouting. I’ll run into all the crystals and trinkets and prints you so carefully laid out just like you did with the hardest truths I’ve ever had to hear when I needed it the most. I’ll finally go through the garbage bags of clothes and 81 black sports bras you carried across the country to get me here, back on my own two feet, back into my body and strength and bravery and light. I’ll eat the leftovers from my frat kitchen and laugh knowing you can full well picture me stuffing my face sitting on my floor checking for the first time if my animal crossing will finally connect to the internet— and I’ll bring my vaulting pole. •
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And maybe in the coming days, weeks, months, and years we’ll realize how truly precious our time spent nearly impossibly inseparable side by side was. Right now, I can’t even begin to grasp it. It feels like I’ll see you tomorrow; we’ll pick up where we left off in perfect unison and orbit. But the reality is, fate has had us preparing for [cont in comments] @ Austin, Texas
