Self-Love Harbor

11/05/2025

“ Breathe, expand— take up space, it is your birthright.”

Taking up space isn’t arrogance; it’s a regulated nervous system, secure attachment in action, and a reclaiming of agency. Many of us learned to shrink through fawning or going quiet. Clinically, expansion increases connection, engages the vagal nerve, and widens the window of tolerance—supporting voice, posture, breath, and authentic presence. 🌿

What expansion looks like in the body:
- Posture: align head over heart over hips; soften jaw; widen collarbones; feel both feet on the floor. This counters collapse and signals safety. 🧠
- Breath: slow, nasal, diaphragmatic with a longer exhale (e.g., inhale 4, hold 2, exhale 6). Longer exhales cue parasympathetic regulation. 🫁
- Gaze: soften your eyes and take in the whole room (panoramic vision). Orienting decreases hypervigilance and supports ventral vagal tone. 👀
- Movement amplitude: reach a little farther, take a fuller step, let your gestures match your words. Increasing range helps the body learn “there is room for me.” 🌀
- Voice prosody: steady pace, full volume, natural melody. Audible, resonant speech helps the brain register “I am here and safe to be heard.” 🔊
- Environmental choices: sit at the table, take the middle seat, place your water and notes where you can see them. Small spatial claims build somatic evidence of belonging. ✨

You don’t need permission to be seen. Let your breath widen, your posture rise, and your presence take its rightful space. This is nervous system safety, not ego. You belong here—fully. 💛

I hope this helps. I love you. Stella. ❤️

🌿✨

10/27/2025

“We have to feel our trauma to heal it.” ❤️‍🩹

When we stop suppressing and allow ourselves to feel (safely, in tolerable doses), real changes happen in the brain and body:

- Emotional brakes turn back on: the prefrontal cortex re-engages, helping you think clearly while the amygdala (alarm system) quiets. 🧠
- Memories update: recalling pain in a safe context allows “memory reconsolidation,” so the brain stores it as past, not ongoing danger. 📚
- The body completes stress cycles: trembling, tears, heat, or sighs are your nervous system releasing stored activation; over time cortisol and adrenaline settle. 🫁
- Fragmented becomes coherent: the hippocampus time-stamps events, stitching scattered flashes into a story you can understand and carry. 🧩
- Triggers lose power: through exposure-like learning, your “window of tolerance” widens, so feelings feel manageable instead of overwhelming. ⚖️
- More compassion, less shame: language and perspective return, making space for meaning-making and self-kindness. 💛

- Seek support from a trauma-trained therapist (e.g., ETF-CBT, somatic approaches).
- If you feel overwhelmed, pause and re-ground.

Gentle note: This is general education, not medical advice. If you’re in crisis, contact local emergency services or your country’s crisis line right away. I hope this helps. Love you. Stella ❤️🫶

10/23/2025

😵‍💫Shame isn’t the enemy — it’s a protector 💛

As a Latina holistic psychotherapist, I want you to know: shame often shows up to keep us safe from the pain of old memories. It’s like a protective part that whispers, “Stay small, stay quiet, don’t risk it,” so we don’t have to feel grief, fear, or rejection again. Mi gente, that makes sense — especially if staying invisible once helped you survive.

Clinically, shame is a self-conscious emotion tied to safety and belonging. In the body it can feel like a dropped gaze, tight chest, nausea, freezing, or wanting to hide. Over time, shame can plant core beliefs like “I’m not worthy,” “I don’t deserve a new beginning,” or “good things aren’t for me.” Then we self-sabotage, isolate, or choose the familiar over the healthy — not because we’re broken, but because our nervous system is trying to protect us.

Gentle ways to move through shame (mind–body–culture)

1. Name it kindly.
- “This is shame, not truth. Hi, “protector” — thank you, and I’ve got us now.” 🫶

2. Differentiate guilt vs. shame.
- Guilt: “I did something wrong.” Shame: “I am wrong.” We can repair behaviors; we don’t have to condemn ourselves.

3. Ground your body.
- Press your feet into the floor, inhale 4, exhale 6 (5–10 rounds). Look around and name 5 things you see. Let your body feel “now,” not “then.” 🌿

4. Soften the inner critic.
- Swap “I’m too much/not enough” with “I’m learning to take up space.” Try: “Estoy practicando ser amable conmigo.” Use self-compassion instead of judgement.

5. Take micro-steps toward joy.
- 15 seconds of courage: send the email, step outside, say yes to the invite. Celebrate tiny wins — they rewire safety and worthiness. ✨

6. Protect your energy.
- Gentle boundaries with people/situations that trigger old shame. Curate your feed; mute what feeds comparison.

You are not your past. You deserve love, joy,and a life that fits your spirit. If this resonated, save it, share it with alguien you love, and drop a 💛 to claim your new beginning.

10/15/2025

Amores, where we place our attention… our feelings follow 💗🧠✨ When depression, shows up, one of the most healing moves we can make is to align our attention with our values, our purpose, our pasión.

Clinically, this matters: purpose and passion give the nervous system an anchor, reduces rumination, and supports action over avoidance.

When we’re lit up by passion, our brain shifts. The reward system releases dopamine (motivation and momentum), the prefrontal cortex comes online (focus and decision-making), and emotion centers can settle. Over time, those “purpose pathways” strengthen—hello, neuroplasticity—making it easier to choose what matters even when anxiety whispers otherwise. 🔥🌿

As a Latina psychotherapist, today I’m living in my dharma y pasión. I opened my holistic wellness mental health center, and every single day I get to witness humans move through grief, panic, heartbreak, and self-doubt—toward courage, connection, and meaning. With my passion as fuel, I aim to be a steady force for others, a reminder that yes, you can overcome the hard things and write a new story. Mi gente, your path is sacred and your presence matters. 🤍

If you’re navigating anxiety and depression :
1. Name your intention for today (e.g., compassion, creativity, familia).
2. Aim your attention there—one small action.
3. Notice how your body shifts when you act in alignment.
4. Repeat gently; tiny steps rewire the brain.

You are not behind. You are becoming. Keep going. 💫

10/14/2025

Photo dump October! One of the most transformative months of my life. What I’ve learned:

✴️It’s not about our timing. It’s God’s timing.
✴️ Anxiety is our inability to feel safe when we don’t know the answers or what is coming ahead. Happiness lies in sitting in the discomfort and breathing until our nervous system feels safe.
✴️It’s ok to say no even if it upsets people. Your boundaries are as important as other’s expectations of you.
✴️It’s ok to rest but don’t give up.
✴️The way we look on the outside is a direct connection to how we feel on our inside. Take time to nurture you.
✴️It’s never too late to start over. You are meant to be happy not matter your age.
✴️ When life throws you a curveball learn to use whatever bat you need and keep hitting that damn ball!
✴️ Cherish the people who see your worth and stop sweating those who can’t see your value in their lives.

I hope this helps. Love you!! Stella
❤️

09/26/2025

Uncertainty isn’t the enemy—it’s the doorway out of old conditioning 🌈

As an immigrant Latina psychotherapist, I learned this when the familiar was gone and found myself n a whole new world. Our latin culture and the familiar scripts—“no te equivoces,” “no hagas olas”—“don’t make mistakes, “don’t make waves,” were my guide once.

I left my home at 17 only 6 months into coming to the US due to difficulties at home. I quickly embraced uncertainty and made it my blueprint for life. I realized that safety and freedom aren’t the same. 💜
When we step into uncertainty, we loosen the grip of those scripts and meet our authentic self.

Believing in yourself in the middle of chaos is an act of liberation. 🦋 Your nervous system may crave the predictable, but your soul knows when it’s time to grow. Familiar doesn’t mean aligned.

Try this gentle practice to break free from past conditioning

- Name the script: “This is the part of me that fears mistakes.”
- Choose one small brave action in the direction of your desires.
- Ground in your body: feel your feet, exhale longer than you inhale.
- Tell yourself: “Estoy conmigo. I can trust myself.”

You don’t need the whole map or plan to move. Cada paso con fe te libera. Every step forward with faith frees you. Even within the chaos, you are becoming. ❤️

09/23/2025

Flowing, Not Forcing 🌊

When we try to force things to happen, the nervous system slips into fight/flight: cortisol rises, the prefrontal cortex dims, and we get tunnel vision.
😳

Presence and awareness of the present moment widens the Window of Tolerance, strengthens vagal tone, and brings back clarity, creativity, and connection. 🫶🏼

Flow isn’t passive—it’s aligned action. As seen in Taoism, it’s “wu wei”: effort that doesn’t strain. 💕

Non‑attachment isn’t apathy; it’s commitment without clinging. Make sure to hold the intention, release the timeline, and breathe within faith 🙏🏼🙏🏼

Try this:
Take 4–6 breaths focusing on longer exhales to cue the vagus nerve and engage the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest).
- Orienting: name 3 things you see and 3 you hear—come back to now.
- Micro‑pause: “Is this push or pull?”
- Body-led planning: organize by energy, not anxiety.

When you root in the present, life stops being a project to control and becomes a relationship to trust. ✨I hope this helps. Love you. Stella ✨

09/20/2025

09/18/2025

What we put our attention to on to grows. 🍃

The quality of our intention on the object of attention will ensure the outcome that we desire. 🌈

It all begins with a thought, a moment of attention and the follow through of our intention. ✅

Don’t stop at the point of attention. Continue the momentum by staying committed to your intentionality and consistency. You’ve got this! 💪🏼

Does that help? Let me know! Love you. 💗 Stella ✨

09/12/2025

✨💫 **When We’re Triggered: The Power of Pause** 💫✨

Sometimes life pushes our buttons 🔘 and that familiar wave of emotion rises up—anger 😡, fear 😨, or defensiveness 🛡️. Our instinct is to *react*. But here’s the truth: when we react impulsively, we hand over our inner peace and clarity.

👁️ **Becoming the Observer** means stepping back and noticing what’s happening inside without judgment. Instead of spiraling into the same old patterns, we create space for curiosity and compassion.

💡 **Clinical advantages of observing rather than reacting:**
- 🧘‍♀️ **Regulation of the nervous system:** Pausing allows the body to shift from fight-or-flight into a calmer state, reducing stress hormones.
- 🌀 **Increased emotional resilience:** Over time, observing teaches the brain new pathways of response, strengthening emotional flexibility.
- 🧠 **Greater self-awareness:** We learn *why* certain things trigger us, deepening healing and personal growth.
- ❤️ **Healthier relationships:** Responding with awareness instead of reactivity creates trust, safety, and authentic connection.

✨Remember: every trigger is an invitation to slow down, witness, and understand ourselves on a deeper level. The pause is where the power is. ✨
I@hope this helps! Love you. Stella ♥️
🌱 Where have you seen your triggers become teachers? Share below! 💬👇