A Mother's Instinct

05/08/2024

04/16/2024

01/04/2023

Practice saying these words out loud:

“Stop. I did not consent to this.”
“Stop. I do not consent to this.”
“No. I will not consent to this.”
“No.” and “Stop.” (complete sentences all on their own)

I write and speak about trauma-informed care every week. Part of that work is crafting and offering language and scripts for both patients and providers to engage in empowered conversations with one another. Sometimes the script is this direct and simple, knowing the work it takes to say and hear is incredibly complex. Other times the scripts are drafts of my own wandering thinking about how to find language and tone and approach, knowing that others will find their way in my rambling.

When we practice saying things like this out loud, whether in a whisper or a yell or a scream, the words are easier to recall when we need them most. in disempowered situations like healthcare or (for some) intimacy.

I know how hard it is to find language when we need it, from my own traumas and for those for whom I’ve provided care.

I know the power of a whisper, and the power of a scream.

Sometimes we can only be heard loudly. Practice being loud because we forget that we can be.

Scripts weekly in my newsletter 💌

*xualassault *xualassaultinhealthcare

12/06/2022

🌿😌SPHINCTER'S LAW😌🌿

"Can You 💩 In Front Of Them?"

Did you know? If someone comes in the room 👀 that doesn’t make mama the most comfortable, it can actually halt labor. Dr. Ina May coined the “Sphincter Law” term. She has seen (and so have I) almost fully dilated cervixes close when the wrong person/people entered the room.

Labor is not much different than s*x or bowel movements. It requires a safe space for mama to work through the physical and emotional requirements to perform an instinctual feat.

Labor isn’t a show for family members. Family can be well meaning, but that still doesn’t mean they need to be present.

Now go look up "Sphincter's law" mamas. 😊

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**p #💩 #👀

07/27/2022

07/21/2022

06/02/2022