12/31/2025
We ALL DO IT.
Snap on someone then feel terrible shame.
Let our impatience get the best of us and then feel guilty for not being perfect.
Give someone a hard time because WE ARE HAVING A HARD TIME.
Our kids do it to us all the time, and it makes sense because kids lack emotional regulation skills.
Buttttttt..... if were being honest, adults lack them too and until adults can figure it out, we continue a cycle of dysregulation in our families.. on and on... foreverrrrr.
So, maybe you are like me and were born into a s**tstorm of generational trauma, or maybe you had a great childhood but feel like you didn't learn what the freak I am even talking about...
Either way, it's up to us to break out of it, as much as we can, and be kinder to ourselves (and others) when we do not do a good job staying regulated.
What does this look like?
For me, it looks like having a breathwork practice so I can release tension from my body and mind with my own damn breath.
I sigh when I notice I am starting to hold tension, which turns into snippy behavior.
I take intentional deep breaths into my belly to help "put my brain back in my body." (anyone else disassociate all the time?)
I actually lay my ass down and meditate and breathe because it helps keep me out of the looney bin.
These things have been proven to help but your first instinct is "that won't work" because you either tried it once and your monkey brain ran free until you gave up too soon.
-OR- you are not willing to try something simple, effective and proven because you are stubborn and okay with the way you are.
I will challenge your thinking in this group, so please, buckle in.
Meditation, breathwork, mindfulness, touching the damn grass, fixing your sleep and not over extending yourself are all proven strategies for getting better with emotional regulation but many people refuse to make the space in their day for it and honestly, it's not cute.
I know we are all "busy" and I myself was too busy for this s**t at one point... until I had an earth shattering realization..
Wait for it....
YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM DOES NOT WAIT FOR YOU TO NOT BE BUSY ANYMORE TO CRASH OUT.
If you do not find strategies, make changes and find your zen, your nervous system will find a time to ruin your life with a fun and exciting mental breakdown and I guarantee it will not be convenient and you will not have time for it then either.
So might as well take the breaths, the walks in the sunshine and maybe even take a machete to your schedule to make a more sustainable pace of living.
It's made a huge difference for me - so much so that I am - for the first time in my adult life (aside from pregnancy) OFF my anxiety and depression meds.
Everything, and I DO MEAN EVERYTHING, comes back to your nervous system. Treat it with respect and make it feel safe to serve you well.
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