Love with Janel (2026)

18/01/2023

I’m always on the lookout for great couples workshops to go to with my partner.

That’s why I wanted to create an event that I myself would want to experience with my sweetie.

So, I contacted my colleague, fellow s*x & relationship coach Ted Riter, and we dreamed up a daylong couples intimacy immersion that we are so excited to bring to life on Saturday, Jan. 28th!

At our “Intimacy: A Deep Dive” event, you and your partner will:

♥️ build your emotional and erotic intimacy through powerful experiential practices.
♥️ explore a practical approach to ta**ra and the polarity that is fundamental for maintaining attraction in your romantic relationships.
♥️ experience the power and magic of doing transformational work in a small, intimate group setting with a community of other wonderful couples.

Plus, it's a wonderful early Valentine's Day gift idea for you and your love.

This live, in-person event takes place at a gorgeous home in the Berkeley Hills in the San Francisco Bay Area, California.

If you desire to deepen in intimacy, strengthen your attachment, and rekindle the fire with your beloved in 2023, I hope you’ll join us!

✨Save your spot before Early Bird registration ends tomorrow at midnight. Link in bio.✨

And as a thank-you for being a member of my community, I invite you to use the code lovewithjanel when securing your spot for further savings.

I hope to see you there!

13/01/2023

I haven’t talked publicly about my relationship with Patrick in a while, and I know some of you are curious about what happened to us…

Patrick & I met at Burning Man in 2017 and were the first person either of us had dated who was actually aligned in our desires. Thus began a liberating erotic exploration that blossomed into a deep love.

But during the stress of pandemic, our erotic connection (and with it, our communication) started to break down—as it did for so many of the couples I was working with at the time.

We tried so hard to fix it, but we just spiraled into exhaustion.

This was particularly painful for me given my work. I felt like a failure. I told myself that if I couldn’t fix my own relationship, I had no business helping others.

By the beginning of 2022, it became clear that Patrick and I needed a break. We decided not to talk for 3 months, after which we would “de-escalate” from being primary partners.

But then, we both found ourselves at Burning Man again. In that environment of openness, aliveness and exploration, we were reminded of why we were drawn to each other in the first place—and how crazy we still are about each other.

Since then, we have been healing the wounds of disconnection in our intimacy, and I’m honestly more in love with him than ever.

Because when you have deeply struggled in relationship but then find yourselves on the other side of that together, you know your relationship can withstand anything.

But healing together takes a willingness to face your shadow and acknowledge its impact on your beloved. It takes an appreciation for the mirror that their love is for your wounds. It takes non-attachment to expectations; deepening in intimacy through vulnerability; and a practice of communicating the hard stuff in a way that keeps you in connection.

That’s why I created a new couples intimacy immersion inspired by our journey.

On Sat. Jan 28th, I’m co-hosting a daylong event in Berkeley, CA for partners to strengthen your erotic and emotional intimacy for 2023 and as an early Valentine’s Day gift for each other:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/intimacy-a-deep-dive-registration-496742639607

Use the code lovewithjanel as my thank you for being a part of my community. Early bird registration ends Jan 18th!

If this post resonates, please comment and share. Thank you 🙏

14/12/2022

How would you feel about experiencing a next-level p***y massage in a facilitated group setting? 🤯

You may have seen my last post that, as a reaction to the pandemic, I’m focused on in-person experiences right now.

I’ve been deeply enjoying designing transformational group events on s*x and relationships, such as my v***a “Adoration” series.

SO much magic can happen when a group meets in person to shed shame and celebrate intimacy, sensuality and s*xuality together.

Of course, group erotic experiences can also be damaging when they have a shadowy underbelly, as you may have seen in the OneTaste documentary that aired on Netflix recently.

Which is why I bring on an experienced team of assistants as well as work with a s*x-positive community here in the Bay Area, the , to ensure that Adoration is an event centered on consent, accountability and authentic connection as much as it’s about celebrating giving and receiving pleasure.

I would love to have you join us for our upcoming Adoration event this Sunday Dec. 18 in Oakland, CA from 4-8pm. It’s so much more than a sensual massage experience. I guide you through the whole journey, so you and a partner just get to show up and fully relax into it.

It could be a great holiday gift idea for your partner—just sayin’! 🎁

Go to the link in my bio to learn more and reserve your spot. You’re invited to use the discount code lovewithjanel to thank you for being a part of my community.

And feel free to share this with anyone who you think would be interested in experiencing Adoration. Thank you!

I hope I get to share this with you. ✨

***a ***as ***aworship *xpositive *xpositivity *xpositiveevents ***ymassage ***yworship

11/10/2022

You know that feeling of finally waking up from a prolonged bad dream…in real life?

Hi, y’all. I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted. The truth is, I needed to abruptly step away from social media for a while to rehabilitate my mental health.

During the pandemic, I threw all of my energy into creating online content as a trauma response to feeling disconnected from in-person community.

But after 2 years of spending 10+ hours a day glued to a device, I realized I was deeply unhappy.

My mental health deterioration had poisoned my partnership and was isolating me from other real-life relationships.

So, I walked away from everything I’d spent 2 years building online to focus on in-person experiences:

💥I immersed myself in inspiring intentional communities and events across the globe, where open-minded people are actively creating alternatives to our isolating, competition-based society (📷 in reverse chronological order: Burning Man, the Tamera Community in Portugal, and the Twin Oaks Community in Virginia).

💥I’ve started hosting in-person workshops and experiences again, such as a v***a “Adoration” event I’m hosting on Sun. Oct 23 here in the San Francisco Bay Area for people with p*ssies to experience guided sensual touch from their partners without any pressure to reciprocate (link in bio—use code lovewithjanel for $50 off) !

A beautiful side effect of reinvesting in real-life experiences is that I feel renewed energy for creating online content again.

Thanks for sticking around for this next chapter of … ✨

To be continued very soon!

Love,
Janel

*xandrelationshipcoach *xcoach *xcoach *xcoach *xcoaching

09/02/2022

One of the “low desire” partners in my couples intimacy program Desire by Design emailed me after our recent internal workshop “The Art of Oral.”

She said she’d never liked giving head to her partner, which had always been a source of disappointment for him.

But something I had shared in the workshop changed her perspective.

“Treat s*x like a meditation.”

Instead of trying to do it “right”—which just means you’re in your head and not enjoying yourself—focus your attention on the physical sensations of the experience, as you would do when meditating.

Sensual means “of the senses.” One of my favorite expressions I tell my clients is, “Lose your mind and come to your senses.”

Focusing on sensations will help you stay in touch with whether or not what’s happening is actually pleasurable for you.

For most of us, that looks like moving more slowly and intentionally, so we can…

✨Feel every brush of fingertips.

✨Notice the heat of their breath on your skin.

✨Feel the weight of their body against yours.

✨Notice your face flushing, your heart beat quickening and your breathing get faster.

For my client, that means not trying to “perform” oral s*x but instead finding the sensations she actually *enjoys* about pleasuring her partner—and NOT doing things that lead to sensations she DOESN’T enjoy.

Vigorous deep th*****ng might be off the table in their case, but think of all the creative things one can do with lips, mouth, tongue, breath and hands that will drive a lower wild?

Experiencing s*x as a meditation (and even a form of artistic expression!) opens up a world of possibilities. 🗺

If you and your partner want to overcome your desire differences and rekindle your spark in the bedroom, this is your sign. You’re invited to take my free couples intimacy class in honor of Valentines Day.

Get instant access at the link in my bio. All you have to do is show up and enjoy. 💗

*xpositive *xpositivity *xisart *xcoach *xcoaching *xtherapy *xtherapist *xgoals

08/02/2022

As cheesy as Valentine’s Day can be, it’s a great excuse to rekindle the spark in the bedroom with your partner. Because life’s too short to be missing that feeling of connected aliveness, don’t you agree? 💕

I created a step-by-step process to help partners overcome s*xual incompatibility based on the “4 E’s” of intimate reconnection and I’m excited to share it with you at my new FREE couples class.

Learn more and get instant access here: https://lovejanel.com/couples-class

What are your goals for your partnership in this month of celebrating love?👇

31/12/2021

Longterm relationships go through seasons. And Winter is f*cking hard.

If Spring is the honeymoon phase when everything is fresh and amazing and full of potential, Winter is when you’re grieving that your relationship is never going to be everything you dreamed it would be.

Which, intellectually, you knew. But you’ve been fed a steady diet of happily-ever-after plot lines since you were 3, so it’s not so easy to shake the hope that was lodged in your heart by childhood fairytales:

That there’s a soulmate out there who will “complete” you and “just get” you, without you ever needing to explain your needs and feelings to them. It will just be perfect.

But then you get into a relationship. You spend a Summer blossoming in love with your sweetie. And you start to see the real them, flaws and all. Eventually, inevitably, you Fall into a pattern of trying to change them and wishing things were different.

Then, Winter comes.

And you find yourself in an icy season of disappointment.

When you’re in it, it can feel like it will never end.

So you worry that it IS the end.

Because, in a way, it is.

It’s the death of your old stories that are no longer serving you.

Only when you allow yourself to feel your disappointment and grieve the things you wish were different will your outdated expectations die.

Only when you sit with your disappointment that no relationship is perfect will you stop the cycle of cutting your relationships short in search of “happily ever after.”

(Maybe you’re not supposed to phase out the character in front of you just because they got complicated. Maybe you’re supposed to keep letting them unfold.)

Only when you grieve the loss of the fairytale can you make room for a new, more authentic and more realistic story with your partner.

From this place is born an acceptance that invites new growth for your relationship.

It may be Winter, but a new Spring is coming.

Happy New Year ♥️

Note: this does not apply to abusive relationships that are cyclical in nature. This was written for people in where they feel safe and *overall* more happy than unhappy with their partner…just going through a hard patch.

29/10/2021

Do you ever feel the urge to break up with your partner to reestablish your independence or freedom?

If you experience avoidant attachment or relationship anxiety, you’re probably familiar with this intrusive instinct. 🙋🏻‍♀️

But as a relationship coach, I’m all for helping partners do the work to stay together (unless the relationship has become too unhealthy to salvage).

To that end, here are three ways you can reclaim your autonomy *without* breaking up with your partner:

♥️ Invest in your own hobbies, interests and goals.

♥️ Spend time alone with yourself.

♥️ Spend time with other people you care about.

It’s so important to clearly and respectfully communicate your needs and boundaries, even at the risk of disappointing your partner.

Doing so empowers you to strike a balance between independence and interdependence for a successful longterm relationship.

05/10/2021

During the pandemic, I became dissatisfied with s*x with my partner. (And since my free class this Wed. is on designing a win-win intimate life, I want to share my own intimacy struggles with you.)

I didn't feel desired by him “enough,”which made me feel rejected. I struggled to remind myself of the context (the pandemic). In my head, it was his fault.

I held my frustration inside until I finally exploded. 🤯

I heaped all of my pent-up fears onto him...which didn't make him want to have s*x with me more.

In fact, it had the opposite effect.

Because, for him, s*x is tied up with feelings of obligation.

We knew we couldn't fix it on our own. We needed professional help.

At first, I felt ashamed. I'm a s*x coach. Why can’t I fix my OWN sh*t?

But even coaches need coaches.

And, with our coach’s support, I realized:

✨I was holding onto unrealistic expectations that were hurting my intimacy with my partner. I was waiting for him to change instead of taking charge of my own turn-on. ✨

So I began unshackling myself from self-sabotaging thought patterns.

I'm not going to lie. Untangling myself from them was raw. We can get very attached to our stories about how things are "supposed to" be.

But once I started freeing myself from expectations that weren't serving me, I stopped overly-relying on my partner to "make" me feel alive.

My partner felt this shift, and it had a wonderful effect: it drew him closer to me.

Still, our s*x life isn't what it was before the pandemic. But that's OK. And actually, that's not the goal.

The most important thing is that we're more intimately connected right now than we've been since March 2020.

And that's a huge win in my books.

🥰

Say YES to turning yourself on, reclaiming aliveness, and enjoying win-win eroticism with your partner again: join me Wed. at 5:30pm PDT for my free class, where I’ll share my step-by-step process for intimate reconnection.

Link in bio. See you there ♥️

05/10/2021

During the pandemic, I became dissatisfied with s*x with my partner. And since my free class this Wednesday is on designing a win-win intimate life, I want to share my intimacy struggles with you.

I didn't feel desired by him “enough,” which made me feel rejected. In my head, it was his fault. I couldn’t grock that my behavior nor the pandemic had anything to do with it (though they did).

I held my frustration inside until I exploded. I heaped all of my pent-up fears onto him...which didn't make him want to have s*x with me more.

In fact, it had the opposite effect.

Because, for him, s*x is tied up with feelings of obligation.

We knew we couldn't fix it on our own. We needed professional help.

At first, I felt ashamed. I'm a s*x coach. Why can’t I fix my OWN sh*t?

But even coaches need coaches.

And, with our coach’s support, I realized:

✨I had been holding onto unrealistic expectations that were hurting my intimacy with my partner. I was waiting for him to change instead of taking charge of my own turn-on. ✨

So, I began unshackling myself from my self-sabotaging thought patterns.

I'm not going to lie. Untangling myself from them was raw. (We can get very attached to our stories about how things are "supposed to" be.)

But once I started freeing myself from expectations that weren't serving me, I stopped overly-relying on my partner to "make" me feel alive.

My partner felt this shift, and it had a wonderful effect: it drew him closer to me.

Still, our s*x life isn't what it was before the pandemic. But that's OK. And actually, that's not the goal.

The most important thing is that we're more intimately connected right now than we've been since March 2020.

And that's a huge win in my books.

🥰

Say YES to turning yourself on, reclaiming aliveness, and enjoying win-win eroticism with your partner again: join me Wednesday at 5:30pm PDT for my free class, where I’ll share my step-by-step process for intimate reconnection.

See you there!
https://lovewithjanel.com/desire-by-design-1

27/09/2021

You know how it is—when you're excited about something, you can't stop talking about it.

For the past couple of years, I've been obsessed with creating solutions for overcoming erotic disconnection. Now, I can’t get enough of sharing what works.

Join me at these 3 free upcoming events, where I'll be sharing powerful tools for intimately realigning with your partner:

1 🔸 TONIGHT: Instagram Live

At 6:30pm PDT, I’ll be doing a teaser on my IG for my free class on Oct. 6th (more on that below) about my Desire Archetypes™️ methodology.

Then, at 7:00pm Pacific, I'll be joined by to discuss what to do when you and your partner have different needs around s3x, whether one of you has a higher libido or one of you identifies as k1nky, non-monogamous or as3xual but the other does not.

2 🔸 Oct. 4-10th: The Relationship Super Conference

I'm honored to be one of 60+ experts chosen to speak at the biggest free online conference on healthy relationship solutions.

In my presentation, I’ll discuss how to navigate mismatched needs in the bedroom, including:

💙 Overcoming deeply engrained myths and expectations around s3x.
💙 Moving through shame to foster connection.
💙 Creating “win-win” compromises without either of you feeling pressured or repressed.

Claim access to the Conference here: https://relationshipsuperconference.com/?affid=jvitale

3 🔸 Oct. 6th: "3 Steps to Intimate Reconnection" with my Desire Archetypes™️ and 3-part Desire by Design framework

In this experiential virtual class on Wed. Oct. 6 at 5:30pm PDT, I will help you understand my process for getting on the same page in the bedroom.

💜 Explore exercises for tapping into your desires.
💜 Practice communicating about them without shame.
💜 Discover how your desires are psychologically healing for you and how you & your partner can play together based on your Desire Archetypes™️.

Come live and with your partner to get the most out of this event (but you can also attend by yourself and/or watch the replay). This class is sponsored by my couples' program Desire by Design, which guides partners step-by-step to erotic realignment.

Save your seat at my upcoming free class: https://lovewithjanel.com/desire-by-design

See you soon! ✨

23/09/2021

Do you feel frustrated about intimacy issues in your partnership and find yourselves in constant conflict around s*x?

If so, join me at The Relationship Super Conference (Oct. 4-10), the biggest FREE online conference ever focused on healthy relationship solutions.

In my presentation, I’ll be talking about how to navigate mismatched s*xual needs, including:

♥️ Overcoming deeply engrained myths and expectations around s*x.
♥️Moving through shame to foster connection.
♥️ Compromising without either parter feeling coerced or repressed.

The Relationship Super Conference features over 60 experts covering topics such as s*xual health, shame, thriving as a couple, attuning to your partner, ethical nonmonogamy and more.

Save your spot at the free conference here: https://relationshipsuperconference.com/?affid=jvitale

*xtherapist *xtherapy *xology *xuality *x *xuality *xpositivity *xpositive *xpositiveculture

Love with Janel

18/01/2023

13/01/2023

14/12/2022

11/10/2022

09/02/2022

08/02/2022

31/12/2021

29/10/2021

05/10/2021

05/10/2021

27/09/2021

23/09/2021

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