Shift Happens Integrative Psychotherapy

03/28/2026

Lack processing—Accurate 👇🏽

“They don’t listen”
“They undermine me with the kids and others”
“I don’t feel heard”
“They don’t communicate”

03/23/2026

An essential resource for caregivers.

03/20/2026

03/19/2026

Sounds familiar?? Let’s explore intrusive thoughts.

03/13/2026

Shift your perspective 👇🏽

03/13/2026

A Reel example 👇🏽

03/13/2026

When an avoidant partner stops communicating, the relationship usually shifts in a few predictable ways that aren’t about not caring—they’re about protection and overwhelm. If there are other relationship strains it builds

What tends to happen when they shut down communication

• The partner feels confused or rejected — the silence gets interpreted as disinterest, even if that’s not the intent.

• Tension builds instead of resolving — problems stay unspoken, so they grow in the background.

• Emotional distance increases — the avoidant person pulls back to feel safe, while the other partner often moves closer to reconnect, creating a push‑pull cycle.

• Trust gets strained — not because of bad intentions but because consistency and clarity are missing.

Avoidant partners often shut down communication when emotions feel too intense or when they fear conflict, pressure, or losing independence. Silence becomes a coping strategy, not a punishment.

Sound familiar?

Does age matter???
It can get harder with age, and it gets even more complicated when the relationship already has strain—especially if the non‑avoidant partner has been hurt before and trust is shaky. The key isn’t that older avoidant people “can’t change,” but that their patterns are more deeply wired and feel safer than vulnerability.

• More automatic — they’ve used distance as protection for decades.

• More justified in their mind — “This is just how I am,” or “I function better alone.”

• More tied to identity — independence becomes part of their self‑concept.

• Less flexible under stress — emotional demands feel threatening, not bonding.

This doesn’t mean they don’t care; it means closeness feels risky, and the older they are, the more practiced they are at pulling away.

What happens when the relationship already has strain?

When there’s existing hurt—especially for the non‑avoidant partner—avoidant withdrawal hits harder and creates a loop:

• The avoidant pulls back to feel safe.
• The non‑avoidant feels abandoned or rejected, especially if trust was already fragile.
• The avoidant senses the emotional intensity and pulls back even more.
• The non‑avoidant becomes more anxious, hurt, or reactive.

Break the cycle!!!
Let’s chat

03/12/2026

👀👇🏽

03/12/2026

More on OCD subtypes👇🏽
Reach to me if you would like to work on reducing your OCD symptoms using ERP, CBT, and other integrative approaches —Accepting Blue Cross members. Early summer openings starting at 6:30am sessions- IDAHO ONLY.

03/11/2026

🍀 𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑 𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 🍀

Mark your calendars and join us at our Open Arms Youth Activity!!

☘️ Wednesday, March 18th
🌈 Games, Pizza, Friends & Fun!
🇨🇮 Dress for Success, and wear GREEN

All are welcome; bring a friend!
•
•
•

03/11/2026

03/09/2026

You are distinct from your thoughts? Thoughts do not necessarily reflect facts. By rephrasing and assessing the evidence, combining CBT and DBT techniques facilitates reframing thoughts, while skill-building enhances mindfulness and exploration of them.