The Secure Relationship

The Secure Relationship As a revolutionary force in the world of relationships, Julie’s work has transformed the way we understand emotional intimacy and human connection.

Julie Menanno MA, LMFT LCPC

Couples Therapist-LMFT • Author of Bestseller “Secure Love” • Attachment Theory Expert • Relationship Insights, Tips, and Scripts • Wife, Mom 🪴 Julie is a trailblazing therapist, author, educator, a masterful interpreter of Attachment Theory, and an Architect of Emotional Connection who is continually working to bridge the gap between complex psychological concepts and everyday struggles. Julie is the creator of The Secure Relationship, a platform that has reached millions worldwide, with a mission to dismantle the barriers that keep people from experiencing the joy of deeply connected, secure relationships. In a world increasingly disconnected by technology and societal pressures, Julie stands as a guiding light, reminding us that love and connection are not just desires but essential human needs and with every conversation, every session, and every word, Julie transforms lives, one secure relationship at a time.

When you lead with empathy, you’re creating emotional safety. When you add accountability, you’re protecting the relatio...
02/11/2026

When you lead with empathy, you’re creating emotional safety. When you add accountability, you’re protecting the relationship (and yourself) from patterns that erode trust.

And yes, this can sound too formal when you first practice it. That’s normal. Make the words your own. "I see you… and I need something to change."

When your partner is in distress, it can feel like there’s a “right” thing to say…and if you don’t find it fast enough, ...
02/11/2026

When your partner is in distress, it can feel like there’s a “right” thing to say…and if you don’t find it fast enough, you’ve failed.

Most of the time, what helps isn’t the perfect words.

It’s your nervous system.

If you can find “even” inside of yourself (even just a little)…you become a safe place for your partner’s body to land. This is co-regulation.

02/11/2026

Your partner didn’t pick you because you’re perfect.They picked you because something about you felt safe enough…and spe...
02/11/2026

Your partner didn’t pick you because you’re perfect.
They picked you because something about you felt safe enough…and special enough…to let you in.

That’s a big deal.

This Series Is For....Couples who repeat the same painful argumentsCouples who want a clear understanding of their negat...
02/10/2026

This Series Is For....

Couples who repeat the same painful arguments

Couples who want a clear understanding of their negative cycle

Couples who want tools for interrupting conflict and repairing afterward

Couples who want to address underlying attachment wounds

Couples committed to building secure lasting connection

Conflict isn’t a sign you’re in the wrong relationship.It’s a sign you’re in a close relationship…between two nervous sy...
02/10/2026

Conflict isn’t a sign you’re in the wrong relationship.

It’s a sign you’re in a close relationship…between two nervous systems…with two sets of needs, fears, stressors, and blind spots. ❤

This came up in the listener segment of Session 7, and it is so important. Taking turns is not losing. It is how you bui...
02/10/2026

This came up in the listener segment of Session 7, and it is so important. Taking turns is not losing. It is how you build trust that your experience will matter too.

If you love someone with anxious attachment, one of the most healing things you can offer isn’t a perfect partner… it’s ...
02/09/2026

If you love someone with anxious attachment, one of the most healing things you can offer isn’t a perfect partner… it’s a predictable one.

Anxious attachment is often a nervous system that’s scanning for: “Are we okay? Do I still matter? Are you going to leave?”
So the antidote (most of the time) is emotional safety + clarity, not defensiveness, mystery, or mixed messages.

I like to repost this series periodically for new followers. I have versions of this for the other attachment styles too, and I’ll put “Tips for healing an insecure attachment” on my story. 🪴
Questions welcomed. ❤

Most struggling couples don’t need more conversations. They need better conditions for the conversations they are alread...
02/09/2026

Most struggling couples don’t need more conversations. They need better conditions for the conversations they are already having.

What’s one “challenge” you and your partner are working through lately.... if you’re comfortable sharing?
02/09/2026

What’s one “challenge” you and your partner are working through lately.... if you’re comfortable sharing?

Healthy relationships aren’t defined by the *absence* of conflict.They’re defined by what happens *after* the conflict.B...
02/08/2026

Healthy relationships aren’t defined by the *absence* of conflict.

They’re defined by what happens *after* the conflict.

Because every relationship has ruptures:
misattunements, misunderstandings, sharp words, defensiveness, shutdown, overwhelm…life.

What changes the entire “climate” of a relationship is whether ruptures reliably lead to repair.

And the beautiful part is…this is a learnable relationship skill.It starts with curiosity, emotional validation, and the...
02/08/2026

And the beautiful part is…this is a learnable relationship skill.
It starts with curiosity, emotional validation, and the willingness to stay close to what’s real. 🪴

Address

P. O. Box 6669
Bozeman, MT
59771

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