Reproductive & Maternal Mental Health with Katie Lourenco, LCSW

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United States
Brea, CA
Reproductive & Maternal Mental Health with Katie Lourenco, LCSW

Online Therapy available in the state of CA.

Services offered are Individual, Couples, and Family psychotherapy to treat emotional distress surrounding infertility, pregnancy loss, perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, and early motherhood challenges.

09/02/2021

Afraid. Scared. Worried. Horrified. Terrified.

I've felt all of these feelings today surrounding the Texas Senate Bill 8 and the Supreme Court's refusal to block the law.

But, after I peeled away the layers, I realized I'm grieving. I'm grieving the loss of compassion, love, empathy and understanding for women and their partners' decision to follow through with abortion for reasons that are none of our business.

I'm just down right sad.

I could write a gazillion words on why I do not support this law, and how it will unintentionally cause a rise in serious mental health issues for women on their journey to and through motherhood.

But not today. Today, I am going to extend my heart, soul, love, compassion, and empathy. I want to repair what was lost with this law.

There are many of you hurting today.

I am here to hold a safe space for anyone who has had an abortion for any reason at all.

Please DM me if you need that right now.

08/31/2021

Today is a busy day. Like every other busy day. Unexpectedly, I received a gift of time. Unscheduled time.

Whaaaatttt????!!!!

I decided to put my time to good use: Read. My. Book. In a comfy chair with my favorite chai ☕.

I flipped to the page I was on and the chapter title was Choice. This is not a self help book. So, I was initially taken aback at the title and how it fit so well with what I was just about to do.

Today, I made a choice. I made a choice to put my needs first. I have dishes in the sink, a load of laundry to hang dry, marketing, writing, etc.etc.

But today in this tiny moment I chose me. I needed to read and drink my tea. Simple. Yet powerful.

What would you do if you chose you for a minute or two?

08/22/2021

"Be a rainbow in someone else's cloud."- Maya Angelou

Still, 8 years later Amelia Mary is my rainbow in my cloud. She was born after profound loss. We were in a storm of grief and she was our rainbow.

Being the Mother of a Rainbow Baby is often a mind f*ck.

You deeply grieve the loss of your baby that never breathed in this world, but without that loss you may have never met your living and breathing child.

It's difficult to reconcile.

And that is OKAY.

It's okay to live simultaneously with grief and joy. You're heart and soul are big enough to hold both. I can say this with confidence because, that is how I have lived the past 8 years of my life.

I grieve the baby I lost, and I live in joy with the baby who is now a girl today.

Sending love to those that have lost, to those that have a rainbow baby and to those that are still searching for that rainbow in the clouds.

🌈

07/28/2021

I am so grateful for Simone Biles' courage to prioritize her mental health needs over what she "should" do.

Gosh, I've been reflecting on this. How many times have I during my journey to and through motherhood just pushed through because of expectations (mostly those I placed on myself)...all the while unintentionally manifesting for worsening symptoms of depression and anxiety? Let's count the ways...

✔️ Returning to work while I was actively miscarrying.
✔️Suffering in silence with postpartum depression after Melly
✔️Returning to work 7 weeks postpartum while severely depressed and anxious
✔️Signing up for PTO, Troop Leader, Room Mom, Snack Mom, while working
✔️Waking up at 4:30am to work out while only sleeping for four hours

Soooo many times have I prioritized imagined expectations over what I really wanted or, quite frankly what I needed.

I needed & wanted to stay home while miscarrying.

I needed & wanted to ask for help when I suffered from PPD and PPA

I needed & wanted to tell my OB that more time off from work would help me heal.

I needed & wanted to only volunteer as needed for my kiddo's activities.

I needed & wanted sleep.

thank you for the gentle reminder that it is okay to say no. It is okay to live wholeheartedly. Boundaries are the best way we can demonstrate love to ourselves and to others.

# ivf # ttc #

07/26/2021

Today, someone asked me, "aren't you just totally bummed out today?"

The comment was in reference to the fact that I had just returned from an amazing road trip to the Grand Tetons and Yellowstone yesterday, and I had returned to work.

My gut instinct was to say, "yeah, for sure!" But, today I paused. I practiced gratitude, and thought,"but, I'm so grateful to have a job to return to."

Then, I felt joy.

I'll be honest, I didn't feel as much joy as I did when I snapped this photo in Yellowstone. But, it was joy nonetheless.

So, I responded, "actually, I'm okay. I'm feeling pretty joyful right now, and grateful to be here."

Gratitude has the strength to turn what could have been a day filled with post vacation blues into a day filled with joy, smiles and peace.

How have you mindfully practiced gratitude today?

07/25/2021

Today is World IVF Day.
This is my IVF Boy, Bashy.

I was looking for a photo of me or my husband during our IVF journey, and I learned that I don't have a single picture in my cloud or stories posted on my social media of the time during my IVF journey.

You see, when I started my journey 6 years ago to conceive who is now Bash, the community of IVF Warriors was relatively silent on social media, resources for support groups were minimal, books on secondary infertility in particular were absent, and therapists who specialized in reproductive mental health were hard to come by. So, short of our close friends and family being aware of our experience, we stayed silent about our infertility experience for three years. The first time I shared my story publicly was when we graduates from our IVF MD to our regular OB-I was 12 weeks pregnant with Bash.

With reflection and therapy I realized my silence was a product of shame, guilt, perfectionism, depression, and fear.

TODAY, on July 25, 43 years after Louise Joy Brown- the first IVF Baby to be born, I am beyond proud of this experience. We fought like hell to have this beautiful boy. I fought like hell to overcome the shame, guilt, and depression to share his story-our family's story.

Now, it brings me so much joy and gratitude to share my story like so many others in this social media community.

I am in awe of the women who are so vulnerable on this platform like and so many others (too many to tag) is incredible.

Sharing our stories will normalize and validate every family who undergoes the IVF process. We are a community of courageous warriors.

If sharing your story out loud to the world sounds terrifying, I get it. You're tender. Vulnerability is hard. I do encourage you to share it with someone though. Storytelling helps us heal. It helps us recognize that imperfection is a gift worth cherishing.

❤️ Katie

07/12/2021

Ahhh, gratitude...sometimes I embrace the concept openly and other times I have a strong desire to scream and shake my fist at it.

The latter is usually present when I'm confronted with a particular stressful moment. During that time my inner Eeyore struggles to find anything to be grateful for. It can be so hard to express gratitude and appreciation when you feel overwhelmed with the doom and gloom of your stress.

This is when Mindfulness can help. When you are feeling depressed, anxious, scared, exhausted, etc. Ground yourself. Look around you and inwardly express gratitude for what you see, smell, touch, taste, hear. Because if you can do that, you are alive and breathing-and that's something to be thankful for.

So today, whether you are knee deep in anxiety, grief, fear, loneliness, depression. Stop for a minute. Take a breath, and give notice to your surroundings. Is there anything that you can appreciate? If there is, stop and sit with that small but mighty feeling of joy that was attached to that expression. You deserve it. You deserve a light shining on joy.

07/06/2021

Let's talk about expectations. Too often, women are expected to feel joy, elation, excitement, and happiness after they learn they are pregnant. Especially, if they are pregnant after a loss.

Women who conceive after a pregnancy loss often hear comments like:

"Oh, it's a miracle-you must be so thrilled!" Or, "isn't it wonderful to be healthy and pregnant?" Or, "why are you anxious? You're pregnant, isn't that what you wanted?"

All are said with wonderful intentions. Your loved ones are happy for you.

However, after a pregnancy loss you can no longer unlearn the fact that pregnancy does not necessarily guarantee a living breathing baby.

So, you are terrified. You are anxious. You worry. You are sad. Maybe even angry.

BUT, you are also happy, releived, excited, and hopeful.

These feelings exist simultaneously. And that is OKAY. Let that be your resting place without judgement. Feeling all the feels during a pregnancy after a loss is normal.

So, when that squeaky wheel of expectations gets super loud give yourself permission to ignore it.

🌈

07/05/2021

Mindful Monday! Sometimes mindfulness comes in the form of sitting quietly with a quote, prayer, excerpt, passage, etc. It's listening with our soul instead of our ears.

Today, I began the audiobook of Brene Brown's The Gift's of Imperfection.

I found these assertions to be beautiful.

Many of us fail to acknowledge that trying to get pregnant, pregnancy loss, pregnancy, the birthing process, and postpartum can be a traumatic experience-they can create an environment of stress where we feel emotionally and/or physically unsafe-threatened.

Because trauma is unique, healing must be considered unique as well.

Yes, vulnerability, sharing, talking, and processing will help you heal from your traumatic experience.

So how do you get to that point if you are scared sh*tless to be vulnerable because your trauma?

Baby steps. Try looking up names of providers to help. Then the next day, select a couple to call or email. Then, book an appointment...see where I'm going with this?

We've (the healers) got you. We will hold space for you when you arrive. We will walk alongside you. We will understand that our number one job is to help you feel safe so that you can feel strong again.

07/01/2021

I remember the incessant hamster wheel of thoughts after my pregnancy loss.

What did I do wrong?
I am bad.
I will never be able to carry a baby.
I failed. I am a failure.

I could go on and on...I was so mean to my mind, body and soul. I would never treat anyone like this after a loss. But, the only way I knew how to cope was to engage in negative self talk. I was actively bullying myself into healing...

As a result, instead of healing, I became depressed, and felt the weight of the loss even more.

With the help of a therapist I started learning how to cultivate self-compassion. Self-compassion gave me the strength to move forward: it gave me the strength to heal.

Here are a few tips on how to begin to cultivate self-compassion. May they help you begin to heal.

As says, "this is a moment of suffering. Suffering is a part of life. May (you) be kind to (yourself) in this moment. May (you) give (yourself) the compassion you need."

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Katie Lourenco, LCSW practices Teletherapy in CA * Try a FREE 20 Minute Consultation * katie.lourenco@gmail.com" rel="ugc" target="_blank">www katie.lourenco@gmail.com

06/30/2021

It may seem torturous to consider telling your story of loss.

BUT (yep, as per usual there is alwaaayysss a BUT)...telling your pregnancy loss story is necessary. We need to find a way to make sense of this catastrophic event. It is a safety mechanism.

Telling your story makes the loss real. It is no longer a dream. There is no alternate ending. There is no loophole that makes this reality an alternate one. We are not living in the Marvel universe.

By safely and gently telling our story we are intentionally present in reality. Which helps us learn how to live with the unacceptable.

So, whether you are screaming at the wind, writing a dark and twisted graphic novel, talking to a support group or therapist...keep telling that story.

This is a part of you now, albeit unwanted. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You have done nothing wrong. Telling your story will help remind you of those things. It will also give you strength to one day add another chapter.

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Katie Lourenco, LCSW practices Teletherapy in CA * Try a FREE 20 Minute Consultation * www.katielourenco.com

06/28/2021

Mindful Monday! Hi! It's been a minute! Albeit, a very mindful minute.

June is my favorite month of the year. It includes my birthday, my wedding anniversary, no school for my kiddos, the first day of Summer, etc., etc.

This year my favorite month also included California opening up.

So, I decided to take a break from some things, ahem...social media...it was a thoughtful, considerate, compassionate decision that helped me cultivate rest, replenishment, review and ultimately recommitment.

I'll be honest, guilt stopped by from time to time- uninvited as always. Guilt is like that. It's rude, inconsiderate, and has very poor timing.

How did I combat it? I reminded myself of what my initial intentions were. And guilt, just did not fit in. So I politely and with compassion asked it to leave.

It is so important to mindfully give ourselves permission to take care of ourselves-whatever that looks like to you...

So if you are thinking about taking time, do it.

I'm excited to share with all of you information, resources, tools, support and love surrounding issues to and through motherhood.

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Katie Lourenco, LCSW provides Teletherapy in CA. Try a FREE 20 Minute Consultation. www.katielourenco.com

Address

Brea, CA
92821

Telephone

+16573413144

Website

http://www.katielourenco.com/

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