Dr. Jon Dabach

Dr. Jon Dabach Jon Dabach, PhD | Couples Counselor
Relationship Coach
3000+ marriages saved
Become the spouse you want to be

05/01/2026

Most relationship advice is either too soft to create change or so extreme it pushes people to blow things up. That’s not what I do. I’m here to give you clear, honest perspective so you can actually understand what’s happening in your relationship and decide what to do next without spinning out.

If you want me to answer your question next, submit it here: https://mrspirituality.com/show-questions. I read these and pick the ones that people need to hear most. Follow along if you want direct, no-nonsense relationship advice that actually helps you make clear decisions.

04/30/2026

If you’ve ever felt confused, hurt, or stuck in a relationship pattern you can’t seem to fix, you’re not crazy and you’re definitely not the only one. Most relationship problems aren’t caused by one big mistake. They come from patterns that repeat over and over again until both people feel exhausted, misunderstood, and alone.

My goal is to help people understand the psychology behind these dynamics so they can stop blaming themselves and start making healthier decisions in love. When you understand what’s really happening underneath the conflict, everything starts to look different.

If you’re struggling in your relationship, I work with individuals and couples in every state and around the world through private sessions. I do not accept insurance. You can call my office or book an appointment using the links in my bio.

04/24/2026

Charisma vs narcissism. Here’s the difference.

In the beginning they look exactly the same. That’s the trap. Both show up strong. Both make you feel special. But one is a performance and the other is who they actually are.

A narcissist is amazing in the beginning. Love bombing. Compliments. Making you feel like the center of everything. But it doesn’t last. Someone with charisma is consistent over time. The energy at month one is the same energy at year three.

A narcissist victim flips. No matter what they did, your reaction becomes the problem. You end up apologizing for being hurt by something they caused. Someone with charisma makes you the hero. They want to be part of your story. Not the other way around.

A narcissist escalates fights into drama. Drama that has no conclusion. It just exists to keep you small and keep them in control. Someone with charisma keeps disagreements contained. There’s a search for resolution. An apology actually fixes something. And no resentment gets carried forward.

In short. Charisma makes you feel safe. Narcissism makes you feel like everything is your fault.

If you can’t tell which one you’re dealing with, pay attention to how you feel six months in. That’s where the mask falls off.

Comment “RISK” and I’ll send you a free relationship assessment to see what patterns are showing up in your relationship right now.

[relationship advice, emotional connection, intimacy in marriage, communication in relationships, marriage coach, relationship healing, rekindling desire, building emotional connection]


04/23/2026

You’re doing everything right and she still feels alone.

Flowers. Gifts. Working hard. Paying the bills. You’re showing up with as much love as you know how to give. Meanwhile she’s sitting on the couch with an empty cup wondering why she still feels lonely.

That’s the problem with love languages that aren’t understood. It doesn’t matter how beautiful your words are if you’re speaking English and she only understands Spanish. She can’t receive something she doesn’t understand.

You’re pouring love into a cup she’s not holding out.

The fix is one question. Stop asking how you’re comfortable giving love. Start asking what does she actually want to receive. Then give it to her in her language. Not yours.

Maybe she doesn’t want the flowers. Maybe she wants you to sit next to her on that couch for thirty minutes with your phone down. That’s it. That’s the whole thing.

And here’s what happens when you get this right. People want to reciprocate. Once she feels filled up in her language, she starts giving back in yours. And that’s when two people stop being roommates and start being a team.

Comment “RISK” and I’ll send you a free relationship assessment to see where your connection really stands.

[relationship advice, emotional connection, intimacy in marriage, communication in relationships, marriage coach, relationship healing, rekindling desire, building emotional connection]


04/20/2026

12 green flags you’re with the right one.

If you only check half, that’s still okay. But if someone checks most of these, don’t take it for granted. Protect it.

Twelve. Your body relaxes when they walk in the room.

Eleven. You bring up hard things without fear of it becoming a fight.

Ten. When they mess up, they own it. No blaming. No games.

Nine. You feel heard. Truly understood.

Eight. You laugh together a lot. Even at the small stuff.

Seven. They want you to grow into your best self.

Six. You disagree and still feel safe. No eggshells.

Five. They’re kind about you when you’re not in the room.

Four. You share core values. Chemistry fades. Values last.

Three. They show up consistently. Even on a random Tuesday.

Two. After a fight you repair. You don’t let resentment build.

One. You can be fully yourself. The real unfiltered version. And they love that.

Post your score. And if you’ve got someone who checks most of these, hold on tight.

Comment “RISK” and I’ll send you a free relationship assessment to see where your connection really stands.

[relationship advice, emotional connection, intimacy in marriage, communication in relationships, marriage coach, relationship healing, rekindling desire, building emotional connection]


04/19/2026

Start by showing up first.

She’s right about raising your standards. I just wish she said it in reverse order. Because the first move isn’t walking away from people. It’s modeling the behavior you want from your circle.

If you feel confused. If people aren’t showing up for you the way you want them to. Start by showing up for them. Fully. Consistently. Without keeping score.

Then watch closely.

If they don’t reciprocate. If they don’t appreciate it. If they can’t express how they feel about you in a way that makes you feel welcomed. Then you have your answer.

Don’t waste your time with them anymore.

That’s the real message. Give people the chance to meet you at your standard. And when they don’t, stop pretending they will.

Comment “RISK” and I’ll send you a free relationship assessment to see where your connections really stand.

[relationship advice, emotional connection, intimacy in marriage, communication in relationships, marriage coach, relationship healing, rekindling desire, building emotional connection]




04/18/2026

They don’t want to be alone.👆🏻

Some people learned early that feelings weren’t safe.
Their parents either ignored the hard stuff or emotions caused total chaos at home.
So the brain figured it out.

Handle everything yourself.

They built a whole life around not needing anyone.
And honestly? It worked.
Until they fell in love.

Now when things get close they shut down.
They stonewall.
They disappear.

Their body still thinks closeness is dangerous.

But I’ve seen these people learn one thing that changes everything.
I can need someone without losing myself.
It takes patience.
It takes a lot of care.
But avoidant attachment can become secure attachment.
I’ve watched it happen over and over.

Comment RISK to take a free relationship assessment and find out your attachment style.

[relationship advice, emotional connection, intimacy in marriage, marriage coach, rekindling desire, relationship healing, communication in relationships]


04/17/2026

Seven moments predict divorce. Most couples miss all seven.

None of these feel like a big deal when they start. They sneak in slowly. Until one day you think this is just what marriage feels like.

One. Emotional withdrawal. One partner quietly shuts down.

Two. Failed repair attempts. Apologies and humor stop landing. Nothing breaks the tension anymore.

Three. Chronic negativity. Everything they do gets filtered through a negative lens.

Four. Loss of curiosity. You stop asking about each other’s world. You stop wondering what they’re thinking.

Five. Parallel living. Same house. Separate lives.

Six. Touch disappears. The small stuff. Hand on the back. Kiss goodbye. All gone.

Seven. Silent treatment. Unspoken anger becomes the air you breathe.

The wildest part. By the time you notice even one of these, you’ve usually been living with it for months.

How many are showing up in your relationship right now?

Comment “RISK” and I’ll send you a 5 minute assessment that tells you exactly how likely separation is.

[relationship advice, emotional connection, intimacy in marriage, communication in relationships, marriage coach, relationship healing, rekindling desire, building emotional connection]


Address

23901 Calabasas Road, Ste 1078
Calabasas, CA
91302

Telephone

+18184644062

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