Extended version of how I work and why:
Purpose is the path to thriving
Society offers little in the way of in-depth personal guidance, mentoring, teaching, and support. To accomplish this I bring many different perspectives, sources of information, and wisdom to the table. The work I do with clients is basically in two parts: first, I help guide you in achieving clarity in seeing where you are at and where you want to be. Second, I support you with a highly specific plan in implementing this into your daily life. This way of working derives from my own life-long search to answer the big questions: what makes life meaningful? How do I live a life of meaning? What are the various purposes people's life can take on? What is ultimately important and what is relatively important? What does it mean to be free and how do I get there? Why am I unhappy? Who am I at the core and how many of my beliefs have been programmed into me by my parents, marketing, society, etc.? What is success, to me? What is holding me back? What life achievements do I need to fulfill to die satisfied? Because I have gone deep in exploring these questions, I have gained agency in supporting others on their journey in seeking truth. However, this is not academic philosophizing or navel-gazing. What I do as a coach is of the utmost practicality and utility; as people discover their individual truths, I support them in implementing these discoveries into their daily pursuits and decision making, so that their actions remain aligned with their core values. Through much of my childhood and adolescence I was clinically depressed and later added addiction to the mess. One night during my early adolescence, a whisper of a thought cut through the fog of my depression: "There must be a better way". So simple and so clear. Frankly, I wasn't even aware that anything was wrong; depression was my normal. However, that spontaneous thought stuck with me, and I have been following this golden thread ever since. In doing this I have explored psychology, philosophy, spirituality, religion, wisdom traditions, art, history, politics, literature, film, poetry, music, nature, indigenous ways, various types of movement, and martial arts. Each of these are facets of and windows into the human condition. Each of these offers a lens into how to support well-being and enrich life. At the core of these explorations lies the ancient Greek maxim, "Know thyself". Following this path, one comes to know who they are and who they are not, what is their potential and what are their limitations, what attracts them and what repels them, what energizes them and what drains them. As I learned more deeply about myself, I realized that to have a meaningful life, a life of purpose, I first had to know who I was and where I fit into the world. It became clear that it is only through this knowledge of self is it possible to discern whether actions are coming from the "tyranny of the shoulds" or from "pursuing one's bliss". Purpose gave me focus, motivation, and made my actions maximally effective. It is this lived understanding that I bring to the table in working with my clients. I was naturally attracted to the existential-humanistic orientation in psychology. To round out this foundation my worldview is informed by the spiritual and somatic. The humanistic school perspective is of human potential, transcendence, and connection, while existentialism asks the big life questions and holds the perspective that we are finite imperfect beings. Together these perspectives comprise a wholistic view. Sometimes these views conflict, so discernment through hard earned wisdom is needed. Further, I have incorporated techniques, tools, and information from several other schools to fill gaps and broaden knowledge: Cognitive-behavioral, Dialectical Behavioral therapy, Solution focused therapy, as well as branches of philosophy such as epistemology (e.g., fallacies) and phenomenology (e.g., Merlo Ponti). Each of these have knowledge that I have found to be of direct practical utility. I also draw on poets such as Rumi (as interpreted by C. Barks) and E.E. Cummings; musicians (e.g., The Beatles); naturalists (e.g., John Muir and Tom Brown, Jr.); shamanism; athletics; various wisdom traditions; economist theory (e.g., Game Theory); and many others. No one group has cornered the market on wisdom, and I am willing to learn from anyone. Drawing on these many sources, I strive to meet each client where they are at, not where I think they should be. At the same time, I hold a vision of each person's highest potential. I tailor what I have to offer to each person's individual wants and needs. I believe that every person is the captain of their ship and should be treated with as such with deference. When I offer an idea, a re-frame of a situation, guidance, or advice, it is just that - offered. A person is free to adopt it or decline it. I have a wide array of tools to teach in pursuit of the goals listed above. These goals are effective in getting a person where they want to be professionally, socially, romantically, materially, and developmentally in fulfilling personal potential and/ or self-acceptance. Often, I give people homework assignments to keep the process moving and catalyze change, but it is their choice whether or not they complete them. Also, I enjoy sharing resources such as books or YouTube videos that I believe will give helpful information or support a client's process. These tools and goals are important and are needed for progress, but there is something much more valuable that is the foundation of the work I do with clients. It is simple but the significance of which cannot be overstated. It is being seen, listened to, truly heard, appreciated, validated, and supported. I speak of the bedrock trust that we will work to develop together. I provide a safe space, a container of confidentiality, to express your deepest truth and have it fully witnessed, accepted, and protected. Additionally, sessions are a space to openly explore and experiment with thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and emotions in a way that is completely private and safely compartmentalized from the rest of your life. My intension is that through our alliance you come to feel free to say things out loud, even things that you may surprise yourself with, to discover new parts of who you are or who you want to be, or to discard that which no longer serves. In short, to stretch, grow, develop... flourish.
