http://www.umbrellaministries.org/

Umbrella Ministries Grief Support, 2888 E. Loker Avenue, Suite 110, Carlsbad, CA (2025)

11/12/2025

From Psychology Today, person to person, “empathy is the ability to recognize, understand, and share the thoughts and feelings of another ... Developing empathy is crucial for establishing relationships and behaving compassionately. It involves experiencing another person’s point of view, rather than just one’s own, and enables pro-social, or helping behaviors, that come from within, rather than being forced.” Webster adds to those thoughts with noting the ability to be empathetic comes “without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.” Another statement that caught my attention said, “The ethic of empathy is the Golden Rule: do unto others, as you would have them do to you.” That made a lot of sense, and it brings us to the biblical command to love others which is joined with the command to love God intensely, passionately, dependently, and with our choices.

I shared with a friend the grief my own heart was heavy with. She had been praying since I had made her aware of the crushing health needs of the one who eventually succumbed to those needs. And she had prayed even while she coped with health needs that were much closer to home for her. She understood the pain another was suffering. She understood the difficulty of giving and giving in the darkness of a very uncertain future. She also knew the reality of her ever-present God, the One who carries us when just to walk demands a strength we know nothing of. And she was able to give from her own pain to lighten the pain of another, both mine, and the family of one who had died too young.

Umbrella Ministries defines itself as a support ministry reaching out to the hurts and hearts of mothers who have experienced the loss of a child. How are we able to do that? 2 Corinthians 1:3,4 answers the question. All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. Like my friend, the mothers of Umbrella Ministries share a very tragic need, but they have also found that Jesus’ Father is our Father too, and He is the Father who gives with understanding, compassion, and comfort. Many of the moms of Umbrella Ministries have and continue to have, a very deep, experiential knowledge of the comforting compassion of our Father. And, yes, it takes empathy to unimaginable levels sometimes when the grief of another becomes our own grief, not in the exact same way as the one who has recently lost, but still in a very sharing, responsive way.

And God calls all of us to a similar empathy – to truly feel the hurts, pains, struggles and difficulties of another, especially in those areas in which we have a story, a history, even a present time of still walking through, that bears a strong resemblance to the other who is hurting. We can do it in all kinds of ways, but giving our presence when needed, dominates. We can assure another of our prayers, help with meals, or housework, or child care, be a listening ear, give comforting, encouraging words, and sometimes even challenging words. But whatever we “do,” it flows from a heart that has known the comfort of our Father, and a compulsion that can do no less than respond to another.
– Bev
(Related Bible reading: 2 Corinthians 1:3,4)

11/06/2025

God’s Certain Hope
Psalm 146:5 “But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the Lord their God.”

“Fallon, Grandma is getting a little forgetful. Are you going to be seven or eight?” This is a question I asked my youngest granddaughter. She looked at me with this look of concern. “Grandma,” she replied, “apparently you don’t know me as well as you should.” I had to laugh. Time is passing so quickly; I can’t keep up. I know this little girl pretty well. I love her to pieces. Yet there is someone who knows her better than I do. He watched her being formed in utter seclusion as she was being woven together. He infused some intelligence with a hint of sassiness into those genes. He also created her with an overabundance of funny bones. He loves her even more than I do. He created everything about her. He knows when she sits and stands. Her creator knows everything she is going to do. He knows everything she will say before she says it.

As I think of the world this little girl will grow up in, I am fearful for her. The evil one will be on the prowl to destroy her. What gives me hope? Psalm 139 tells me all I need to know. It gives me hope. He will go before her and follow her all the days of her life. He will place His hands of blessing on her head. She can never escape His presence. His hand will guide her, and His strength will support her. His thoughts about her are precious, and they cannot be numbered. He will also not be forgetful, unlike her grandma. He will always know the number of her days.

What hope that is for all of us! As I know my days are numbered, and I think of future generations, we can hold on to the promises of God’s Word. We can never escape His Spirit or His presence. When we go to Heaven, He will be there; in the grave, He will be there. Nothing can separate us from His love.
– Michele

11/04/2025

We have a conference which includes fathers. Registration for our couples' conference is now open.

10/30/2025

Waves of Grief
GSnow’s post on reddit.com went viral as his words gave expression to the grief of thousands who read it. You can find all of his post online if you google, “An old man explains grief,” but I want to share just part of the wisdom his life, and death, experiences have taught him. He parallels grief to surviving a shipwreck, and part of his post says, In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find that the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breath, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything… and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

I have shared GSnow’s words with many who are walking their own journey of grief, and they are quick to validate his insights. GSnow acknowledges that the waves of grief come farther apart and lessen in intensity as the grief journey passes through time and healing – a healing that still loves, still remembers, and still holds a tug to re-unite. As believers, holding tightly to the God who loves and comforts, and gives His grace, or being carried close to the Father heart that knows and feels our tears and the pain of our loss, the sense of surviving a shipwreck is still very real. And for the believer, the triggers still come, for months, for years, for decades, for a lifetime. Initially, in those early months and years, we may expect the triggers. We still see the empty chair, sleep in a bed where one pillow grows cold, watch a child’s friends go to the next grade level, hit the winning home run, or we smell the scents that almost seemed to define our loved one. Grief slows life down to a crawl, but we do begin to walk, and then we do begin to make changes. Although we will forever carry our loved one in our heart as our loved one lives and delights within all the perfections of Heaven, our earthly lives transition and we express those lives in new and different ways. And the waves can still descend, and they can descend with an unexpected heaviness, a deep heaving sorrow that longs to hold our loved one close. I can enter the joy of a young and beautiful bride, expectantly walking the aisle on her wedding day, eager to exchange the arm of her Dad for all a young man offers her as they begin their lives as one. The tears that come though are tears of sadness, longing for the presence of our own daughter who will never walk a wedding aisle with her Dad, or dance the father-daughter dance with him, warmly wrapped in the memories of childhood. The wave was triggered, and it crashes, soaking me to the depths of my sometimes still fragile heart.

And it is then I find my comfort where I have learned to find my comfort – in the constant, unchanging presence of my Father-God. Honest with my emotions, my memories, my thoughts, my longings, but letting Him carry me close to His heart one more time. And, it will probably happen again, but my God is real, and my God cares, and when the wave comes again, whenever that may be, my God will still be real, and close, and comforting.
– Bev

(Related Bible reading: Isaiah 40:11; Isaiah 41:13; Isaiah 46:4; Psalm 23:4; 2 Corinthians 1:2-4)

10/16/2025

Sacrifice of Praise
Hebrews 13:15 “Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that openly profess his name. And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”

Today is Labor Day and it doesn’t just mean a day off work; for me it is a holiday that represents the coming of the end of the summer and the beginning of the fall season, which leads into Thanksgiving and Christmas. Since I have always worked full-time, I usually had something fun planned for this particular three-day weekend; it would either be a weekend getaway or an invitation would go out to friends and family for a barbecue or pool party. But things in my life are much different now. I’m no longer married and my disabled son now resides in Heaven, I’ve moved from San Diego to a rural town in East Texas and it is days like this that cause me to feel isolated. I have never minded living alone, but holidays are always hard when my entire family have lives of their own and live in different states. I try not to look ahead and just enjoy the day off, but if I’m honest, the thought of facing another holiday season without solid plans with a significant other or my immediate family is just agonizing for me.

Isaiah 45:3 says, “I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.” As I open up God’s Word this morning, He reminds me that I am not alone and that this is not just another amazing day in the beautiful life that He has given me. Yes, it may be that today represents the end of one season and the beginning of another, but so it also is with the seasons in my life. Each new day, each new chapter, represents hidden treasures, riches that are stored in the secret places of my relationship with the Lord and in the moments He allows me to be of service to Him and to others. All I have to do is to recognize what those treasures are and I am immediately reminded of who I am and why I am here on this earth. My life is to be an act of worship to the audience of One and instead of looking at what I don’t have at this very instant or in the near future, I will trust God’s will and plan for my life.

As I turn on some praise music, those feelings of loneliness disappear as I offer a sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving to my Lord and Savior and just like that, His Living Water flows into my heart and soul and the fullness of His Spirit causes me to have an attitude of gratitude for this extra day off and for the person of Jesus who has blessed me so richly and when I share that gratitude with another, I know that He is pleased.
-- Melody

10/09/2025

If the Tears Come.................
When the doctor told my husband and I just before our daughter was born, that she was not going to live, that her survival would only be counted in minutes or hours, the suffocating darkness of grief, and guilt, and emptiness, descended. The darkness encapsulated my world, and I begged God for understanding and hope. I knew if any answers existed, they would be found with Him, and yet, although my tears and darkness continued to cry out to God, it would be years before I realized the answers He had for me. In time, I found His answers of comfort and hope, and even the beauty He wanted to bring from the tragedy of Tonia’s death. He strengthened me, helped me to understand His answers, and shaped me to be a voice of comfort for others. Tonia still had a big place in my heart, a heart that still pulsed for her, remembered her, and wanted to honor her. And sometimes still the tears would come, and sometimes, they still do, especially at weddings.

God blessed us after Tonia’s death with three healthy boys, all of whom I am proud of, all of whom have loved us, and given to us. But Tonia was the daughter her Daddy would have delighted in walking down the aisle at her own wedding. I think my tears at weddings started when I began to realize I was now going to weddings of young girls who would have been about Tonia’s age. I knew for Tonia, her delight was now, and had been, in all the perfections of Heaven and in the presence of Jesus. But still, for me, the tears came........

But God also gives daughters-in-love, the bride who by marriage, also becomes part of our family. Again, we have been blessed, but we have the youngest of our sons, who has looked long and hard for that special one, and in a couple of weeks, Rebecca will become our daughter-in-love. It has been a special joy to start welcoming Rebecca into our family, and to realize the gift she is to all of us. And then, only a few days ago, Rebecca let God give us another gift. She connected with our granddaughter, Emily, who had just bought a beautiful dress for the wedding, and asked her to be her bridesmaid. She would be the only one. Emily excitedly replied with a yes, but Emily’s excitement was echoed by her parents and her grandparents.

It was then I cried my tears, but they were tears of joy. Joy that reminds me God never forgets. God sees and knows and cares, and softens the heart that can still feel pain decades later. Joy that burst forth in gratitude to our God who never quits giving. Joy in ALL of my daughters. Each a priceless gift. Each a song within my own heart. Each a reflection of our loving, caring God. I may still cry at Rebecca’s wedding, but if the tears come, they will be tears of joy.

After hearing Emily will be Rebecca’s bridesmaid, and experiencing my response, in my thoughts, I was briefly in Heaven, talking quietly with Tonia. I asked her, “Did you suggest all of this to God?” And Tonia just smiled.
– Bev
(Related Bible reading: Psalm 40:1-3)

10/01/2025

Moms and supporters of bereaved moms we have a great need to reach more hurting mothers. We could do that by having a greater presence on other social media platforms such as Instagram, TikTok LinkedIn and I don't know all the ones that are out there X maybe.
If you would like to help, please message me and we can talk about it.

09/28/2025

The video of our children's pictures.

09/28/2025

Did you miss our fundraising walk at Mission Beach today? We want to share the photos and a video of the signs with our children photos.
The walk donation window closes Friday night.

09/25/2025

He Who Watches Over Me
Psalm 142:3 “When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who watch over my way.”

When I was growing up, even though I had an earthly biological father, the memories of him have never been good; in fact, to the contrary, there were traumatic events that happened in my childhood that caused me to feel overwhelming fear, anxiousness, and at times I felt abandoned and extremely unsafe. Gentleness and tenderness were never characteristics I remember as a child and, as a result, trust does not come easy for me. As a child, I learned to retreat into a world of my own when I felt unsafe and I would talk to myself out loud and even then, in those times when I felt so incredibly alone, I knew instinctively that I was not alone. From a very young age I always felt there was a presence who watched over every single thing that happened. It was almost as if I could see that girl crying, but I never really connected with her. I was always reaching out to something bigger, wondering who could see me, who could hear me, who really cared about me, and I knew that someone did, and as a small child, in my loneliness, that is where I drew my comfort.

I love the parable of the mustard seed, "What shall we say the kingdom of God is like, or what parable shall we use to describe it? It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest of all seeds on earth. Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds can perch in its shade." (Mark 4:30-32.) Developing faith and trust in our heavenly Father is a very slow process and it takes a very long time; in fact, for most people it takes a lifetime. I began to develop a trust in something greater as a very young child and that little seed that the Lord planted in me as a child has grown over the years. If you look at the rest of this scripture, in Mark 4:34, it says, that Jesus “did not say anything to them without using a parable. But when He was alone with His own disciples, He explained everything.” It has always been when I am alone with Him that the Lord has shown me His greatest insights, has given me my most significant epiphanies. Always it has been when He has taken me aside and shown me how to examine my heart, how to give Him my fears, how to lay down my doubts, that He has given me back in return every time I get alone with Him. He gives me a little bit more tenderness, a little bit more gentleness, a little bit more peace, a little more understanding, things that the world has never been able to give me. It has taken a lifetime for me coming to a place where I am finally so comfortable with Him that I long to be alone with Him every opportunity I have.

In Hebrews 13:5, Jesus says, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." He will never abandon me, He will always be with me, He will always see me and track with me. He will be that consistent friend who will never forsake me or disappoint me. But the best part about my heavenly Father is that he is giving me what my earthly father never was capable of giving me, tenderness, sweetness, gentleness, patience, goodness, kindness, comfort, peace, security, healing, adoration and most of all the love that I have craved my entire life, and it is only found in One place. And His promise to me is that “surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matt. 28:20) That alone for me is the best source of comfort I will ever have.

– Melody

09/19/2025

The Hope of Heaven
Isaiah 55:8-9 "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.”

I’ve been doing an in-depth study of Heaven since Elisha has transitioned to his permanent heavenly home and yet there are still so many questions I have, so many things I still want to understand. The more I desire to see glimpses of our eternal home, the more the Lord brings me comfort, peace, hope and assurance about what I do not see, about what is to come, not only eternally, but here on Earth. I desperately want to understand the “why” of all of this and I want to understand what God is doing, what He is about to do and what the future holds. Sometimes I think if I knew what was coming, I would feel better about what was happening.

Randy Alcorn, author of one of the best books I have read called, “Heaven,” said, “Insisting on knowing the unknowable dooms us to frustration and resentment toward God. We lack God’s omniscience, omnipotence, wisdom, holiness, justice and goodness. If we insist we have the right, or even assume we have the capacity to understand the hidden purposes of God, we forfeit the comfort and perspective we could have had in kneeling before His vastly superior wisdom. God’s answer is beyond our understanding.” And so it all boils down to trust. Trust is something that the Lord has been developing in me daily as He shows me continually day after day, how incredibly faithful He truly is. Even in the midst of my dull lack of faith, He shows up in such amazing ways, I can scarcely begin to write them all down. But I find it interesting that His timing is always perfect.

Corrie ten Boom, author of the “The Hiding Place,” was a martyr for the Christian faith and she went through deep suffering and sorrow in a N**i concentration camp; she watched her father and her sister die and only she survived. When she was a little girl she said to her father, “Daddy, I am afraid that I will never be strong enough to be a martyr for Jesus Christ.” “Tell me,” said her wise father, “when you take a train trip to Amsterdam, when do I give you the money for the ticket? Three or four weeks before?” Corrie replied, “No, Daddy, you give me the money for the ticket just before we get on the train.” “That’s right,” he replied, “and so it is with God’s strength. Our Father in Heaven knows when you need the strength to be a martyr for Jesus Christ. He will supply all you need just in time.” When I stop and think about how many years the Lord was equipping and strengthening Corrie while she was trapped in the concentration camp, my heart is humbled to the core.

I realize that my sufferings are minuscule compared to what this woman went through, and now she stands in the presence of our Savior with a crown of righteousness because she believed that there is no pit so deep that God is not deeper still. Romans 8:37 says, “In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” A sweet friend of mine told me that trust is like being on a trapeze. As the trapeze artist jumps from one bar, and is just about to grab the other bar that is coming, he is suspended in the air for a time until the other bar comes to him, where he will grab on and get to the other side, to a platform that is stable and safe. That is where I am at right now, I am waiting. I am suspended in the air, ready to grab the rung that the Lord is about to give me. I know it will be great and I know it will be awesome, however, right now, I am at that awkward place where I am in transition, suspended, trusting in Him, waiting on the Lord and knowing that what He has in store for me will be far better than I could have ever hoped, dreamed or imagined.
– Melody

09/08/2025

Please join us on September 27th for our third annual Mission Bay, CA remembrance fundraising walk.

Umbrella Ministries Grief Support

11/12/2025

11/06/2025

11/04/2025

10/30/2025

10/16/2025

10/09/2025

10/01/2025

09/28/2025

09/28/2025

09/25/2025

09/19/2025

09/08/2025

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