02/04/2026
3 Marriage Goals Every Christian Couple Should Set Together
Jenny Nanninga
From creation, God planned for couples to work together. God himself is three in one and values the power of shared goals and teamwork. He created those concepts. Our marriages can become stronger when we focus on growing together, whether spiritually, emotionally, or relationally. Life tends to pull couples apart through different work schedules, friend groups, hobbies and more. How can we improve our marital teamwork and the practice of supporting one another even when our days are spent in different locations or activities?
God’s Word provides guidance for married couples who want to strengthen their bond through spiritual, emotional, and relational means. What can that look like for us in our daily lives?
Grow in knowledge.
“Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ,” (2 Peter 3:18 ESV).
Knowing God is the best way to know ourselves. Therefore, striving to know God together will unite you and your spouse in profound ways. As a couple, you should set spiritual goals for Bible study, prayer, scripture memory, and church involvement. You can encourage one another and keep one another accountable for your individual growth, as well as participate in these practices as a couple. Reading the same passages and books as a couple will allow many topics to surface that can be discussed, increasing your alignment on numerous issues. Your bond and faith will be strengthened. Choose a book of the Bible to read separately or to read individually, but discuss later. You could also choose a scripture to memorize each month. Continually listening to podcasts or reading Biblical books on God’s plan for marriage or on any Biblical topic can also enhance your spiritual connection as you work to align your theology.
Grow in compassion and understanding.
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,” (Colossians 3:12).
Scripture stresses the importance of loving our brothers in Christ, serving others, and being patient and compassionate. These attributes and habits should also be applied to our marriages. We married sinners, and therefore, forgiveness, compassion, and understanding will be necessary throughout our marriages.
Set a plan together for dealing with conflict biblically. Study Matthew 18 and strive to apply it to your disagreements. Create specific steps for talking through hard topics that allow for mutual understanding and emotional safety. Devote yourself to learning about your spouse, considering their interests, and valuing them for who God created them to be. Keep a list of your spouse’s positive qualities. Write each other notes of encouragement and praise.
Practice brotherly love in tangible ways. It may be helpful to schedule a monthly or weekly marriage meeting to discuss issues calmly rather than bringing them up in a heated moment. Practice pausing before reacting to your spouse. Read scriptures about loving one another to keep your mind and heart focused on the positive in your relationship.
Grow in our complementary roles.
God has given equal value to each partner in a marriage, but different roles (1 Peter 3:1-7). Take time to study your roles, discuss how they should play out in your personal family situation and then strive to excel in those areas. The world has confused these roles, and even within the church, there is often disagreement, hurt, and confusion. Search the scriptures as a couple to understand your God-ordained roles better. Talk with one another about how to live these out practically and be open to encouragement.
Just as you would want to work your best for a boss or company, you should strive to give your best to God, who has outlined various roles for His children in scripture. Have regular evaluation check-ins and challenge one another to level up in certain areas. The whole family benefits when everyone does their work to the glory of God and with skill.
Ultimately, marriage is a union that the devil desperately wants to destroy. United goals will create united hearts, minds, and lives. God always designed for the two that were joined never to be separated. Strive to keep that bond strong. This means more than regular date nights. It means diving deeper into your relationship through emotional connection, spiritual growth, and godly relational roles. Thankfully, we serve a God who designed marriage for our good and His glory. Seeking His wisdom will greatly impact the strength and beauty of our relationships.
