09/21/2025
“No does not mean convince me”… This applies to everything and everyone, regardless of context or age.
A few years ago one of my daughters asked if their friend could use something of her sisters. Her sister said no. Full stop, the end. So she started to get upset, because ‘there was no reason’…
I set down what I was doing and said, “Listen, I want to tell you something. And it applies to everything. No, does NOT mean ‘convince me’… she does not have to let someone use her things. She doesn’t need a reason. It is okay for her to say no, without you trying to guilt or pressure her into changing her mind. And that stands for everything. Your toys, your body —anything. It is okay to say NO, and that needs to be respected.”
And I mean that. Adults, it is okay to say no if you aren’t up to doing something. It is okay to say no, if you need to set a personal boundary for yourself, your children, or your family in any capacity.
It is okay for your kids to decline physical affection from family members, it is okay for them to decline sharing a personal item, and it is okay for them to say no to something they don’t feel ready for.
Years later it is okay for those same grown ‘children’ to decline that drink at the bar, or a walk to the car.
We all deserve this basic level of respect from ourseves and others… permission to say no, without guilt.
And we model that by how we handle situations, both big and small.
This mantra really sums it up. No, does not mean convince me.
-Mom Seeking Coffee ☕️l
