04/06/2026
I asked him to go to my best friend's rehearsal dinner...
He said, "no"
I got angry.
This was my best friend! It should matter to him, this was important.
I made up a story "he doesn't care, he isn't there for me"
But here's the truth...
He did care about me, A LOT!
He cared so much that he found child care for my best friend's wedding when he NEVER misses a kid weekend, no matter what.
I didn't tell him the rehearsal dinner was important to me, he thought I was just asking does he want to go and he didn't, he knew the wedding was important to me so he made that happen.
This was such a valuable moment in our relationship... This is where we birthed the It's Important to Me practice.
Here's how it works:
When we invite each other to do something if the other person doesn't want to do it, they can clarify by asking.
" Is this important to you?"
If the answer is yes, then we move mountains to make it happen.
If the answer is no, then we don't take it personally and we just each go do our own thing.
This is such a simple clarifying practice to make sure that we don't miss out on supporting each other and being there for each other when it matters most.
What I learned from this is I can't expect my partner to prioritize something that I never expressed to him in the first place.
This is why I'm a relationship healer, I can help women feel confident expressing what they want, need and value most so they can receive it from their partners.
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