01/19/2026
Again, Iāll preface this post by saying that my mother is still physically alive & doing okā¦
Itās been a month since I posted Part 1 and Iāve been caught up in my own season of motherhood, volunteering at the kidsā school, recovering from a respiratory virus, celebrating the holidays, & running my business.
To post Part 2 today, though, couldnāt be more appropriate as I reflect on my own journey of being a mama.
Scarlett turned 9 todayā¦
I thought to myself, as I walked up the stairs 2 days ago, sheās halfway to 18!
As many keep reminding me, this is the last year of single digits for the rest of her life.
Time is fleeting, no matter how present one might be...
My Bean that made me a mama keeps growing, which makes me swell up with pride & brings me to tears all at the same time.
I love her with all that I am, blessed that she chose me & made me a mama.
She has been one of my hardest & best teachers in this life, and because of her, I continue to grow & heal and become the best version of myself.
Iām in awe of this precious, small human that lived in my womb for 40 weeks & now is a walking piece of my heart on the outside.
As I parent Scarlett and grow alongside her, I have a hard time grasping how my mom couldnāt see me in the same way.
Whatās even more difficult is witnessing my mom repeat the same patterns with my daughter.
Scarlett loves her Nana- I do my best to not let my story with my mother ruin her relationship with her grandmother.
My mother, unfortunately, is choosing this path all on her own.
I no longer care if my mom doesnāt show up for me, pretty much desensitized.
I do care to see my children experiencing her lack.
Sheās breaking my girlās heartā¦
And mine is shattering even more, which I didnāt know was possible until I had my own children..
As hard as it is, Iām grateful my mom shows me what not to do.
I promise Scarlett & Ethan that I will always do my best to show up for them with so much love in my heartā¦
And, for their future children.
I hope, Scarlett, you always know how much of a blessing you truly are!
Happy Birthday- I love you, always ā”
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Grieving