Blue Sage Holistic Healing

18/10/2023

How many posts and health professionals are shoving “self-care” down your throat touting that “THIS is what you need!” This is the ANSWER!”

Tons.

Let’s test this. Go to your feed and count how many times you see phrases like “eat this, not that,” “meditation,” “exercise,” “breath work,” “take a walk,” or “calm your nervous system using these simple tips.”

There were probably too many to count, right?

Here’s the truth - self-care is helpful and it is necessary but for the love all things that are holy please stop equating your self-care practice with solving your problems.

Examples of problems that self-care aren’t going to “fix:”
👉 imposter syndrome
👉 healing co-dependency
👉 having hard conversations with family members or at work
👉 getting out of a funk that’s lasted for a while
👉 feeling like you don’t want to be here anymore
👉 past or current abuse
👉 relying too much on substances to help you cope with emotional and/or physical pain

Self-care is what gets your mind and body calm enough to DO the actual work.

It opens up the pathways that are necessary for the messages to get in that ACTUALLY make a damn difference.

Before I engage any of my clients in deep work we ALWAYS start with getting into the body and establishing a baseline calm.

Not just because it feels good but it’s an actual tool to let the work we’re about to do sink in so they can ACTUALLY heal.

If you’re living in a heightened state and you enter into deep work in a heightened state nothing is going to stick…it might even make it worse.

Self-care = good
Self-care + deep mental health work = profound change that you’ll never experience on your own

What’s been your experience with this? Tell us in the comments.

Rather talk to me 1:1 about it? Link is in bio.

14/10/2023

How do you feel about chronic lateness?

Are you one of them?

Is anyone close to you chronically late?

How do YOU feel about it?

Tell us in the comments.

29/09/2023

Another episode of the Holistic Healing Podcast is NOW LIVE!

In this episode, I interview Dr. Mottola, Naturopathic Doctor!

We discuss:

- the dark side of traditional healthcare and how accepting insurance can be harmful to the patient as well as the clinician

- Dr. Mottola's inspiration to become a Naturopathic Doctor and how her time in China exposed her to an entirely different way of thinking and doing things

- Her personal recommendations on the simple things all of us need to be doing to take care of our health

- the link between blood sugar (and hormones) and mental health issues

- she breaks down EXACTLY how the HPA axis (the stress response) creates disease and mental health woes

- the link between neurodivergence, being an Empath, and a Highly Sensitive Person and how this works for and against people, focusing specifically on the certain types of health conditions they suffer from and what to do about them

Tune in the learn about the various options in healthcare that no one is telling you but you really need to know, it could save a life!

Link in bio

13/09/2023

22/08/2023

21/08/2023

The smell of cardboard has just barely been replaced with your favorite beach cottage candle.

The sounds of packing tape being stripped from their holsters are becoming a distant memory now and you’re finally starting to feel settled.

As if changing your address EVERYWHERE wasn’t annoying enough there’s still finding the best routes to work and hiding from the barrista at Starbucks hoping they won’t notice it’s your third visit this week.

Moving to a new city also brings a whole host of emotions. You’re nervous, excited, anxious, cautious, optimistic, and hopeful as you settle into “doing as the locals do.”

The social anxiety of having to make new friends and connections at work can be paralyzing.

Are they going to like to me?
Will they ask me for drinks after work?
What if they think I have ill intentions?
I can’t spend all of my free time with my partner. Are they going to think I’m needy?

Connecting with a trusted therapist shortly after moving to a new city is just the answer you were looking for. Working with an effective, experienced therapist can help you:

- Cope with the stress of the transition
- Process any unexpected emotions you didn’t anticipate before moving
- Communicate effectively with your partner to avoid those blow ups when we feel out of sorts
- Get focused on your career so you can make a good first impression that lasts
- Establish a long-lasting healthy relationship with a therapist you can rely on for years to come

Finding a new therapist that you click with shouldn’t be as hard as finding that missing mid-century piece for that bare corner that still needs to be filled.

We’ve got you covered.

Book a free 30 minute consultation in the bio today

07/08/2023

You’re at the end of your rope and you FINALLY decided to talk to someone.

As if that process wasn’t painstaking enough, you quickly learn that the process to find an experienced therapist who is actually available is turning out to be more traumatizing than what you’re going through!

I hear you…it’s Frustrating with a capital “F!”

All of the therapist profiles look alike and they all keep talking about these three letter strategies like CBT, DBT, IFS, or EFT and you feel totally lost.

You just want help and you don’t want to have to jump though so many hoops to get it.

MYTH: the only way I can do therapy is if I use my insurance.

FACT: not only do cash pay therapy practices exist but you can typically start therapy within the same month and get better results in less the time

What sets Blue Sage Counseling and Wellness apart from other practices:
✨ Your therapist has nearly 15 years of experience so there is nothing that is going to shock her
✨ You can start therapy typically within 2 weeks
✨ Your therapist has the emotional bandwidth to take you deeper and get to the root of your issues sooner
✨Your relationship with your therapist is SOLID and you’ll actually want to come back to therapy again and again
✨ In the beginning, your therapist will spend 30 MINUTES WITH YOU FREE to see if it’s a good fit. If it’s not, there are no high pressure tactics to get you to sign up.
✨ When your therapist asks “does it feel like you’re making progress this week?” you’ll actually be able to say YES!

When my client asks if being a therapist helped me fix my own life I always respond with “no MY therapist helped me do that!”

If you’re still on fence, you do you but maybe you also do therapy.

Click the link in bio for NC residents.

02/08/2023

People pleasing isn’t a confidence problem…it’s an expectations problem.

You’re not people pleasing because you lack confidence, have low self-esteem, or you don’t have a voice.

You’re people pleasing because your role as a woman is to do the job of 3 different people and it’s not freakin HUMANLY possible!

In your back story, you learned that you either had to take care of it yourself or it wasn’t getting done at all (or they were just going to do it wrong 😉)

You’re overly saying yes, overcommitting, and overworking because what’s on your plate is UNMANAGEABLE!

There I said it.

But hear this too…it’s not your fault.

The women’s lib movement came with some unwanted side effects: while women can now progress in their careers it didn’t absolve them of household duties. It just combined them.

What’s going to help our hard workin mamas get more balance?

Normalize stay at home dads
Partners agree on a reasonable, balanced household chore regimen
Normalize conversations around money
Gender neutralize all tasks by basing them on skill set and strengths not ge****ls

Where do fall in this discussion?

Link in bio gets you some one-on-one help with this.

24/07/2023

Learning about and practicing secure attachment are two different things!

As a therapist who teaches this stuff, I had known that my attachment style was anxious but it never really hit home until I EXPERIENCED it in my own therapy!

That’s why I’m so passionate about helping people with it today - I KNOW how hard it can be to face it, to sit with it, and to change it.

When I finally started reparenting myself and giving myself the reassurance I never got as a child things really started to turn around for me.

I now date with confidence, end relationships that are trending towards toxic before they actually become that way, and have a host of other securely attached friends on whom I rely.

It did not get that way over night and there was a LOT of trial and error.

If you’re stuck in insecure attachment, don’t give up. It can get better.

Let me show what I’ve learned and let’s find what works best for you.

Click the link in the bio to let me show you.

17/07/2023

So many couples come to therapy thinking that their partner is the problem. They feel very strongly that if their partner would “just communicate more” then they wouldn’t have so many issues.

It’s certainly understandable why they feel this way when so many of the interactions with their partner result in anger while interactions with others don’t.

This is because we grew up in households where we watched our caregivers exchange insults that cut deep. There were no rules, no guidelines.

Without learning proper communication, we are just repeating what we know and oftentimes we don’t ever realize it.

If this is you, please know that this is the rule not the exception in our society and it is not your fault.

Here are 3 ways to voice your complaint without criticizing:
1. Get curious about what is underneath the anger - feeling sadness, disappointment, and scared are very common emotions that underlie anger. Speak into those instead of the anger.
2. Speak in the form of “I” versus “you.”

Instead of “You never think about me. It’s like you go out of your way to forget about me and my needs. You’re so selfish.”

Try this: “I felt scared when I didn’t hear from you. I thought we had agreed that you would check in before you left work.”

3. Express gratitude towards your partner for what they are doing well instead of over focusing on what you do not like.

It will feel uncomfortable at first but you’ll get there.

Let’s talk. What is your experience with this?

14/07/2023

FINISH THIS SENTENCE: “What I most want my partner to know that he/she probably doesn’t is…”

14/07/2023

This one was a vulnerable one for me.

Not too long ago I was in a baaaad place.

I was totally cut off from my body and just going through the motions of life. I was not living life.

I thought something was really wrong with me. I thought that I was really messed up and that “that’s just how life is.” I even had thoughts of not wanting to be here anymore. It was bad.

That experience eventually introduced me to the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn theory. Once I learned about stress responses, I was able to go easier on myself and take my power back.

I had come back to life.

I am sharing this with anyone who might be stuck in freeze state right now and feeling desperate and hopeless. You do have choices and you don’t have to stay stuck.

Please reshare to help someone else who might be stuck too.