Amp needs a kidney

03/24/2026

Something I've been told a few times over the past year is how my attitude during everything has been encouraging. I appreciate the intent behind the statement, but it feels weird to be told you're encouraging someone just by being yourself. Like I said though, I do appreciate it though. People have told me they don't know how I do it. Let me clue you in on something. It's extremely freeing to know you are not in control. Instead of being in control, I serve a God who is. Do I know everything? No. Can I explain the ins and outs and why of everything God does? No, and that's freeing for me. Knowing everything about something means it can be predicted, predictable things can be manipulated, manipulated things can be controlled, and I don't want to serve a god that can be controlled by something else. I may not like everything that happens, but it has a purpose and He knows what it is. Is it always easy not being in control or keeping my attitude? No. I've been dealing with stuff for a few weeks and still dealing with stuff not fb public that have made life difficult. Do I wish it would all clear up this instant? Yes. But it's all part of a bigger picture and I am just a microscopic portion of it.

03/12/2026

Today is World Kidney Day. Not only am I currently living the journey, I know others personally who are or were living this journey as well. Please prayfully consider donating. If you tested for me before and were rejected, try again. Things change. A rejection previously could be an acceptance today.

https://www.vcuhealth.org/hume-lee-transplant-center/living-donation/living-kidney-donation/?fbclid=IwdGRjcAQfo2BjbGNrBB-jVmZkaWQWUCxZmICKIXZuG37hHhqEdqvkIm7t0GV4dG4DYWVtAjExAHNydGMGYXBwX2lkDDM1MDY4NTUzMTcyOAABHuvyjLnrvYdBWTeEOE5T6U5EAd6raD7SMybGtg4OQqFrZOkxQmS6mYXru50K_aem_K97UPdydznABdi-GkeSNWQ

The wait time for a kidney transplant from a deceased donor can be several years, but living donations can significantly decrease wait time and improve patient outcomes. We offer an advanced robot-assisted procedure that can be far better for the donor.

03/04/2026

Finally got some decent news. Passed adequacy...barely. so for now, no changes to dialysis treatment. Now I need to figure out how to get active on the list again. Probably won't happen till at least May.

02/26/2026

Tonight is the night we are redoing the adequacy test and I will be dropping everything off. I will be told the results sometime next week. Hopefully, I pass. If so, I can continue doing treatment the way we have the last couple of weeks. If I fail, decisions will have to be made. Essentially. I either 1) stick with pd and make some changes that I had a lot of trouble adjusting to mentally the last time we tried it or 2) change treatment type entirely and go the more stereotypical route. Both sides have pros and cons. Please pray that I just pass and make it easy, and then I get the call lol

02/22/2026

Something I've ve been struggling with lately. I feel like I should be stronger a d doing g more than I am. Now granted, I got my 2nd leg in Aug, a little bit of home therapy, but had a break until December before starting actual PT. That hasn't been as consistent as it could be due to health and other reasons. Most days are a struggle to some extent. Dialysis doesn't help. The sense of overwhelming due to my apartment doesn't help. Trying to hold down my job doesn't help. In the grand scheme of things, I know i'm where I should be. In some aspects, maybe ahead, probably behind in others. Overall, where I should be. I'm independent enough to survive each day, to get to most of my many appointments. I may not be able to get ahead on anything, but I at least maintain. I wish I could do more. I know that day will come. I'm so limited in what I can do and in some ways, limitation will likely always be a factor. I know that as time passes and I continue to work on it, I will do more and the limitations will become less. For now, I continue to trudge ahead. Take the days after PT (like today) and do nothing if that's what is needed. Mentally, I have so much to do. Physically, it's going to take more time than I want it to. I'll get there...eventually

01/30/2026

I've been pretty quiet on this page recently. Here's an update. Could use some prayer. Between being stuck with snow, and recent changes in dialysis, I've been down in the dumps this week. I don't handle cold well, and it's been warmer in Alaska (literally). On top of that, recent "adequacy" test came back showing I wasn't cleansing enough toxins during dialysis, so we made treatment longer and added a mid day bag. The whole point of doing PD was so that I wouldn't have to do stuff during the day, yet here we are. I'm going to stick with it as long as I can, but it's wearing mentally. I might be switching to hemo. We shall see. Bottom line, i'm tired and need prayer.

11/26/2025

Had my first session of physical therapy yesterday. Therapist recognized and remembered me from in patient earlier this year. She was very encouraging throughout the session as we talked about next steps (literally and figurative). Before leaving, she pointed out that I am miles ahead of where they would expect me to be given the timeline. Pretty encouraging since I have to constantly remind myself that I've only been on both legs for a couple months. I'm impatient lol happy thanksgiving

10/14/2025

Just got off the phone with the dialysis nurse. She told me she had a patient last year that was told in November that he was in the top 20. This is the only reason I will accept being in the hospital this Christmas. That would be the best Christmas gift ever lol *prayers* it's getting real y'all

10/10/2025

Time for an update, and a good one at that. Just got off the phone with my transplant coordinator. I am once again active on the list. While there is no guarantee and no way of truly knowing, she said she suspects i'm in the 6-month time frame of getting "the call". While I do need a break from "life-changing surgeries", I will gladly accept this one

10/03/2025

Update: had my annual evaluation yesterday. They want me to do an echo and an exercise test to ensure that I will be able to get up and be active after the surgery. Hopefully will get that scheduled today or tomorrow. Also referring me for physical therapy to build strength in my legs. I'm OK with that as I have relapse a bit without some sort of structure for the exercises. They will present my case to the board on Tuesday and decide if I can be active on the list again. Prayers always appreciated. The people I spoke to yesterday seemed optimistic that I would be reactivated. Random note to self: I have way too many big projects I want to do/accomplish lol I appreciate everyone's prayers. I definitely need them.

09/25/2025

Been awhile since I've posted an update. Don't fully remember what the last update was lol this week marked a month that I have been back in my apartment. Feels longer, but I have to keep reminding myself, especially when I look around and see what still needs to be cleaned. I feel like I haven't done much, but in reality, I've done a decent amount for my current abilities. The important thing is to keep at it and do a little something each day. That and my exercises. I've gotten a little lazy on exercises since getting back to work. I've let excuses (some valid and some not) slow me down on both the cleaning and exercising. Not a bad thing that I've slowed down, I just can't stay at this pace. I'll get my butt in gear, hopefully sooner than later. A fun thing that's happened is my hand controls got installed on my car, so now it's a waiting game with dmv until i'm a LEGAL driver again. On a kidney note, I go do my annual evaluation next week and (pending results) get re-activated on the transplant list. Hopefully there are no hiccups on that. Prayers appreciated.

09/13/2025

Calling it quits for the day, but before I do, wanted to expound on a post I made on my personal page earlier today. Living independently (particularly by yourself) with one or more major health issues is not for the weak, physically or otherwise. The physical part is "easy" to fix. Regularly push your muscles slightly past their limit (by exercise or just life) and over time, your limit will increase. Emotionally, you need to be able to withstand the wide range of emotions you face on a day to day. You can wake up feeling like you got run over by a truck, be feeling strong and confident a few minutes later, and something can happen minutes later that leaves you feeling weak and useless. The important thing is to not let these emotions control you or dictate your actions, even the strong and confident emotion. Don't let it trick you into doing something that you have no business attempting to do. Mentally, you have to push yourself every day. Maintain discipline. Convince yourself that you can keep going when you don't think you can or don't know how to. For those who have visible illnesses, you have the added aspect of dealing with people's reactions. Sometimes it's good, but other times can leave you wanting to crawl into the closet. Who wins in that case? Not you and certainly not the other person. Some may argue this, but I believe it also takes a certain amount of faith as well. I know for me personally, faith is what has gotten me as far as I have come. Now i'm not saying I possess all of these strengths, or have even experienced a need for each of these. I do believe though, at one point or another, all of these strengths are needed, as well as others not mentioned.