Be the Most

11/19/2021

Leave it to Adele to bring me to fu***ng tears this morning. If you haven’t listened to her new song, “To Be Loved”… you’ve been warned 😭. Honestly, I woke up sad and wanted to sit with my feelings around a recent breakup.

I tried and am still trying to love myself, to trust myself, even though some of things I thought I knew about myself seem confusing and are quite painful at times. Still, I have to keep trying.

11/15/2021

Me. Right now. Last week’s therapy session opened some romantic relationship wounds that I’ve been avoiding for years. I feel raw, angry and just plain hurt. Sitting with everything that comes up without judgment and instead, choosing compassion and curiosity as I feel my way through💜

11/06/2021

During May 2021, I was navigating some deep traumas related to self- love & worth. After reflecting on my relationships, romantic or not, I deemed myself unloving & unlovable. One way I challenged that idea was by creating a playlist that I would play in the mornings while getting dressed, running errands in the car or whenever I started feeling sh*tty. It was a mix of love songs and songs that reminded me of everything I could gain by loving myself. Slowly, I started to fee like myself a little bit more, love up on my unhealed parts and examine some core beliefs that kept me from feeling like I was enough. Here’s what got me through the toughest moments of this year:

* For Once in My Life - Stevie Wonder
* Say a Little Prayer (Live) - Lianne La Havas
* Holy- Jamila Woods
* Sweet Time- Raveena
* Lifetime- Maxwell
* Binz- Solange

09/20/2019

This came to me as I was journaling last night. I was trying to process my feelings around ending relationships that no longer serve me. I rationalized why I deserved to be treated poorly in present and past relationships. This is a habit I’ve practiced for decades, thinking “it could always be worse.”
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The more I journaled I began to remember how I’ve always moved forward and beyond what no longer nourished or served me: I wrote myself into the future, spent time thinking of ways to honor myself more each day, and learned to forgive myself for letting me down in the past. Also acknowledging that times of turmoil could always be better.
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09/09/2019

Navigating life can be hard. Daily practices are a great way to stay grounded in the midst of chaos, uncertainty and change.
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Here are 5 things that help me get through the day. What are some of your practices/strategies?

09/03/2019

Period.
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08/26/2019

How many times have you felt guilty for wanting to take a break? Have you ever thought the whole project/job would fall apart if you took a step back to breathe?
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Honor yourself by taking a break and getting some rest today. Even if it’s for 15 minutes. Stop. Drink water. Put your device on do not disturb. Step outside and take some deep breaths. Put your favorite song on repeat and dance it out.
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You deserve a break. A moment to yourself. Trust me, the work will still be there and it will still get done. 💜

08/15/2019

How many times have you made plans or set goals and things still didn’t turn out the way you anticipated? When things don’t go according to plan, it’s easy to get lost in the “why” or “what did I do wrong” loop. Maybe you did everything right or maybe you had some missteps, and that’s okay too. Self-reflection is a great tool when you find yourself wondering what happened or what could’ve been done differently. If you find opportunities for growth, offer yourself compassion as you pivot and reimagine your next move. You’ve got this💜

07/22/2019

I’ve been so afraid to do a lot of things: to say no, to ask for things I wanted & needed, to take risks (my biggest fear) and afraid to be myself. I kept thinking what I fail? What if they don’t get it? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I’m rejected? These are all valid and terrifying possibilities to think about. We can play out all the worst case scenarios in our minds, hoping we can somehow control the outcome. Truth is, we can’t. We can do our best to prepare for success and continue to learn along the way. Set goals. Be proactive. Be intentional. Be the Most, because what if you actually succeed?💜

07/13/2019

When going through my divorce, I had to ask myself some pretty tough questions: When did I stop loving myself? What led me to stay in a toxic and draining relationship? Why did I ignore my intuition? It wasn’t an easy process but my healing demanded I be honest, compassionate towards myself and willing to reflect in order to move beyond the brokenness.

Practicing self-reflection and taking note of the stories you tell about yourself will bring up emotions you’d rather not feel. I encourage you to lean into all that comes up. They’re the pieces of you that require the most healing. And you deserve to heal!

07/08/2019

How often do you find yourself saying or thinking, “ I’m crazy, I always mess up, I haven’t gotten xyz because I don’t deserve it”?

Even in casual conversation, I’d find myself repeating the same negative messages that left me feeling unworthy of love and joy. In order to move beyond that reality, I needed to create a new one. That meant acknowledging the story I was telling about myself simply wasn’t true. Sure, I had moments where I said something that sounded silly or acted irrationally but that wasn’t who I was. It was something I did.

Then I started countering my negative self-talk with affirmations of love, kindness, patience and understanding. I have to constantly tell myself all the nurturing and supportive things I tell my loved ones. Eventually, I started to believe that I am worthy of love, that I am a nice person, that I am capable of loving others and so many other amazing things! It takes a lot of practice and it’s very effective.

I want you to practice noticing the stories you tell yourself about yourself. Write them down or type them in your notes on your phone. Ask yourself if they’re true. Which ones aren’t? How does this narrative impact my personal and/or professional life? Record your responses and visit them when you’re ready. Practice patience while doing this exercise.

07/04/2019