28/01/2021
This used to be me. Anytime anyone said something I disagreed with I launched into defensive attack mode. I had to prove I was right or belittle anyone who thought differently.
Sometimes I still catch myself going to this place but I have gotten a lot better about examining whether it is worth my time, my emotional well being or even beneficial to respond.
Am I responding in a healthy way or reacting? This kind of knee jerk reaction is rooted in trauma. Underneath it lies deep insecurities related to a need to prove oneself & a victim mindset where you need to defend yourself.
Opinions that differ from your own feel like a personal attack even if no one has set out to attack you. You need to feel safe in your beliefs. They provide you comfort and stability. Maybe comfort & stability that was lacking somewhere in your youth...
I write this not to drudge up guilt or feelings of inadequacy.
👉 It's okay to not be okay 👈
We all have trauma we need to address. The most important first step to take is to bring awareness to it. To see it, to love the broken pieces of yourself, to forgive yourself, and to be patient with this hurt that you carry.
There is a freedom that comes with being able to respond instead of react. To see a post or hear a comment that triggers you and to decide reacting isn't worth your peace ☮...and eventually moving into a place where you can share your difference of opinion from an untriggered place.
Your triggers may feel like something you need to avoid 🚫 This is spiritual bypassing. We all do it to some extent.
I get stuck in avoidance A LOT. Sometimes I feel I need to step away from it all because it is SO. MUCH. Especially right now...I forgive myself for wanting to get lost in Netflix so I don't have to think about the world around me & what these events trigger within me.
Your triggers are a gift showing you what needs to be healed, addressed, & explored. Sit with them. Ask yourself hard questions like why does this affect me so much? Journal what it brings up.
This is how to take your power back❗Don't allow others opinions to control your emotions 🧘♀️
