Devorah Goldblatt - Holistic Teen Counseling

06/29/2023

The stats aren't great. Our teens are stressed, depressed, and anxious. But here's the good news:

👉 We CAN give them lifelong tools to bounce back when challenged.
👉 They CAN be empowered to heal _themselves_ for life.

Here's my take on helping our teens bounce back when the 💩 hits the fan. Our kids need rock-solid fluency in just 1 item (tool) from each level of the diagram pictured. (Like the Subway sandwich counter, but you're picking tools like EFT/tapping instead of mayonnaise. 😂)

What do teens need?

📌 Level 1: Tools that help with EXTERNAL stress

What will they do for relief when they stumble onto disturbing p**n? Get bullied on the way to class? Don't get invited to the party? There are so many evidence-based tools that help with neutralizing the upset from external experiences, and kids need ONE they are fluent in. There are so many options: Havening, EFT/tapping, Faster EFT, self-EMDR, and others. It's all good -- they just need ONE.

📌 Level 2: Tools that help with INSIDE stress

Once they can quiet the outside chaos, they need tools to help with negative self-talk, to realize they are separate from their beliefs and to question them. I teach Byron Katie's "The Work" for this (also called Inquiry-Based Stress Reduction). IT IS GOLD. For teens, and everyone.

📌 Level 3: A daily grounding tool

When inside AND outside is quieter, that's when kids really can pick up a sustained self-care routine to keep them grounded and balanced -- meditation or journaling, for example.

[A mistake we often make is that we try to push meditation or mindfulness FIRST, and then wonder why it isn't working.... because the nervous system just isn't ready.]

Want to learn more about how I can help your teen gain the tools to heal themselves and return to balance -- for life? PM me to schedule a discovery call. 📞 ❤️

06/28/2023

Sneak peek into a counseling session (& shared with permission -- her idea, actually).

B, who I absolutely adore, (and who showed up with air-fried brussel sprouts, which made me love her even MORE) shows up in tears.

She struggled last semester in college and several professors have given her the option to complete assignments over break. But the workload is totally overwhelming. She just can't get started.

She says the overwhelm is at a number 9 (on a scale of 1-10).

She prefers to start with EFT/tapping (we have a whole toolbox to choose from) and we tap with a focus on "I can't get started." And she vents, and I tell her to get it all out -- profanity is GREAT here. Verbal diarrhea is what we are going for. (Sorry). So she taps and taps while venting, and along with a lot of “Ugh. I just don’t F’ing want to DO this. This SUCKS,” she drops the following zingers:

👉 If I get started, it means I'm actually DOING it
👉 If I do it, then I have to do it WELL
👉 If I don't do it well, I'll disappoint everyone
👉 If I disappoint everyone, I'm worthless... you get where this was going.

After several rounds of tapping, she tuned back into the feeling of sitting with her planner, looking through her assignments. She reported her sense of overwhelm was now at a 2.

With one additional technique, she reported she was at a 0.

The next day she texted me -- “You’ll never believe this.” (I had a tiny suspicion where this was going ).

“OMG I sat down, read through the first paper I needed to write, and wrote the whole thing, start to finish, in 4 hours straight. I feel amazing. Can’t wait to do the next one!"

Sometimes we work on the really heavy stuff. Sometimes we work on the John Donne paper. It's all good. 🥰

06/24/2023

No matter how deeply we care and how much we try to build connection, our kids will not always come to us when they are struggling. Period.

And no matter how much we encourage them to approach us when their friends are struggling... they will not always do that, either.

We need to make sure they have fluency in tools for self-healing they can use without us.

Here is what my teen clients say they love about tools like EFT/tapping, Faster EFT, TAT, and Havening:

👉 It's easy to do by themselves (unlike, for example, hypnotherapy or traditional EMDR – powerful, and also not something most 16-yr-olds can pull out of their back pockets and try alone when things are hard at 2am)

👉 It's easy to help friends

(Bonus tip to get reluctant kids interested -- they may not agree to learn these techniques for themselves, but they will often agree to learn so they can help friends who are struggling).

📷 My daughter in TAT pose

06/08/2023

I'm on Instagram! I am (clearly!) the very definition of a "late adopter."

When I was a high school counselor, I was maybe a little bit cool. I was up on the latest shows, knew what Netflix & chill meant, and even nailed about 40% of the renegade Tik Tok dance (until that twisting motion sort of pulled my back out.... but I digress.) 😂

I still work with great people. But private practice now, mostly on Zoom, has meant fewer teens streaming in and out with their very white sneakers (how???) and their scrunchies and bizarre music recommendations.

I haven't accidentally photobombed a Tik Tok dance in a school hallway since 2020. But I've gained a whole different set of benefits -- like the ability to incorporate energy healing and alternative modalities like EFT/tapping, EMDR-derived tools, muscle-testing, etc into my work.

There are so many teens struggling to return themselves to balance after a really difficult few years. We need to empower them with the tools to lead, and heal, themselves. That's what I do.

I've always resisted Instagram... until now. This work is really important, and I'd love to get the word out to more people. So starting now, you can find me in both places. I'm excited. :) Now I just need to wrangle a teen or two to help me figure out the whole hashtag thing... 😄

https://www.instagram.com/holistic_teen_counseling/

12/04/2022

Helen started as a total skeptic, but tried EFT tapping with me live on air and experienced immediate relief.

I loved this episode with Helen Wills of Helen Actually Mummy on her Teenage Kicks podcast. We chatted about EFT/tapping for anxiety and Helen tapped for the first time (live!) about an issue she was having with her own young adult daughter.

Thanks, Helen, for your willingness to try something new! And thank you for spreading the word about this evidence-based, easy-to-learn tool to neutralize anxiety.

Links to the podcast and to her related blog post in the comments.

05/10/2022

Who else watched yesterday's 60 minutes segment on the teen mental health crisis? Devastating -- and also, not surprising.

Some statistics:

👉 20% of teens surveyed contemplated su***de during the last 12 months
👉 44% experienced persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness
👉 Rates of su***de attempts and self-harm have doubled.

This is heartbreaking.

And we can wring our hands, and point our fingers, and figure out who to blame, BUT IN THE MEANTIME:

👉 It is UNCONSCIONABLE that while rates of anxiety and depression are skyrocketing in our teens, we are not equipping every single one of these kids with evidence-based tools (ex. EFT/tapping, EMDR-derived techniques) that are proven to help with exactly these issues.

ENOUGH.

Schools, it's time to teach EFT/tapping. It doesn't take long to learn. It's not hard to apply. And it is an evidence-based treatment for depression that teens can use on their own, at any time, anywhere. The VA has been using EFT for our veterans' PTSD and depression for years. It's time to bring this to our kids.

Yes, students might lose some academic learning time. Maybe they'll know less about the French Revolution. But they'll have the tools to handle their own internal commotion.

If you'd like to talk about bringing me into your school or organization, please send me a DM. And if you'd like to check out my free EFT tapping course for teens, I will put a link in the comments below.

📷 Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

05/08/2022

04/24/2022

She was waiting for me after the teen workshop was over, fiddling with her scrunchie -- and I could tell she had something hard and important and heavy to say. So I smiled and I waited quietly and then she said:

“Thank you. Until I learned about EFT/tapping, and the other tools…. I just didn’t know there was something else that could make me feel better other than cutting.”
- - -
Anxiety and depression is on the rise in our teens and tweens. They are bombarded by the 24-hr news cycle, academic pressures, Instagram comparison-itis, more exposure to p**n and violence than we ever had...

What tools are we giving them to handle this stress?

I work with amazing and conscious parents who work so hard to connect with their children. We want to be their safe spaces. We want to believe that if our kid stumbles on a disturbing p**n video, or gets bullied in the locker room -- they will come to us.

That is all such important work. BUT no matter how deeply we care and how much we try, our kids will not always come to us when they are struggling. Period.

So how will our teens cope, on their own, when the stress gets to be too much? What tools do they have to bring themselves back into balance?

It’s a serious question, and one every parent needs to ask.

Make some time to sit with this question. Then ask your kid.

When the break-up feels awful and the s^&t has hit the fan … what do you do to feel better?
When you see something disturbing on TV that you just can’t get out of your mind …. how do you make it go away?
When you see that post on Instagram and you’ve been left out, again… how do you help yourself feel ok, anyway?

If you find your kid can use some more tools in their toolbox, please DM me to schedule a free discovery call. That’s what I do.

04/21/2022

Devorah, are all the tools you use in your practice evidence based?

NOPE.

Morning musings on why, as I hide out in my car from the Passover chaos in my house. 😅

20 years ago when I learned EFT/tapping, it was totally weird. Now, it meets the APA criteria for evidence based treatment for depression and anxiety.

In the meantime, lots of new holistic modalities have been birthed. They are game changers, and I consistently witness outcomes that are nothing short of miraculous.

In 20 years, they'll be in Pubmed, too. But I'm not going to wait around while people are struggling.

Watch this space, as I'll be sharing more about modalities like holistic kinesiology, Surrogate EFT, and core beliefs work.
(And yes, I'll keep sharing about the evidence based tools, like EFT/tapping, EMDR-derived techniques, mindfulness, etc.)

Interested in working with me? DM me for a free discovery call. ❤️

04/09/2022

How do you get your kid to "buy in" to self-EMDR, EFT/tapping, or similar tools?

👉 Here's a tip. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗮 𝘁𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗮 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘀𝘁𝘆 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁.

💡What works? Approaching them with a calm and appreciative focus on what they ARE doing that's already working. Our kids are doing the best they can with the tools they have.

From that energy, kids are much more likely to be open to picking up a few interesting tools for 'peak performance' (way sexier than 'resilience'! 😂)

Having trouble approaching your kids from that space? I'm happy to demo a powerful tool with you (like Faster EFT or Havening) so you can clear your own "stuff" and approach your child with calm and curiosity.

PM me -- I have 5 slots open over the next 2 weeks for a free (no obligation) 30-minute Zoom call. I'd love to meet you!

04/04/2022

** Profanity Warning!**
I thought this was the bleeped-out version. 😂

This is my middle daughter (12) and me on Tik Tok, attempting to demo an angry version of EFT/tapping for a breakup.

I could not make it past the first 5 seconds of this song. Friends, I am too old for this.

My oldest daughter (14): "Mom, I have never seen anything more cringe in my life. NEVER post this." 😂