24/10/2022
Our health is made up of both our physical and mental states. What I am about to share is difficult, but worth it if that means someone else can breathe a sign of relief and say, “I am not alone.”
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•Earlier this year, I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). When most people hear that term, they typically think of triple checking the lock, washing your hands often, and having an organized space. I honestly thought the same thing. But I’ve learned that OCD is so much more than those things, and actually, those compulsions are only a sliver into someone’s mental reality. Everyone’s journey is EXTREMELY UNIQUE AND PERSONAL. Like most things in life, it is not a cookie cutter experience.
•Personally, my battle is completely a mental one. It’s not something you would notice from watching me, as I do not to my knowledge have any physical compulsions. My thoughts are where the battles lie. OCD is often referred to as the doubt disorder. In simple words, it attaches itself to whatever you value and makes you question it. For me, that means it attacks my faith, identity, motives and other areas a little too personal to share right now. Additionally, intrusive thoughts sometimes too disturbing to even say out loud take their place too. The OCD joins in and screams, “SEE, THAT’S WHO YOU ARE! HOW COULD YOU EVER THINK THAT? YOU ARE DANGEROUS.” It’s a really scary thing to not feel safe with someone, especially yourself.
[[To some, this may sound like silly nonsense, but to those who have experienced this or similar mental health struggles, you understand these battles can impact you so deeply the idea of giving up sounds like the only hope you have at relief…]]
•I am currently learning how to differentiate between the voices. What a lot of people don’t understand, and even I don’t half the time, is that you cannot logic your way out of these thoughts. And that fact can be SUPER frustrating! OCD and intrusive thoughts do not respond well to logic, in fact, it can often feed them. Instead, you need to acknowledge the thought(s), practice neutrality, and refuse to engage with it, meaning- do not answer it’s probing questions. It takes time, patience, and practice to do this.
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I am so proud of you. For still being here after all you’ve fought through. I would love to be a source of encouragement if needed, send me a message and let’s talk 🤍
