Open Book Parenting

02/01/2026

The longer you've been dealing with child anxiety, the longer it will take to extricate yourself. The same goes for you. The longer you've been operating with an anxious mindset about your child, the longer it will take you to practice getting out of that mindset. That's FINE. There's no time limit on progress!!

01/31/2026

Trying to control every outcome is a clear sign of anxiety. Anxiety CRAVES control. Anxiety craves certainty. People who are rigid about diets, about cleaning routines, about the way to do this that or the other thing are usually people who are anxious and who are trying to control that which is uncontrollable. It feels oh so much safer to believe that if you just take the right supplements and have the right exercise regimen that you will never be ill or in pain or die. But this is a denial of reality AND it's giving anxiety control over your life. This is a tough lesson for some folks who really want to believe that if they just do everything right, they -- and their children -- will always be safe.
(This is an excerpt from my podcast TELL ME IT WILL BE OK)

01/31/2026

Your anxious child isn't going to suddenly become NOT anxious. Instead your anxious child is going to learn now to accept their anxiety and do the fear-provoking thing anyway. This kind of change can be incremental because it takes a paradigm shift that needs to be visited and revisited over time in new context. Change your expectations to honor that sometimes this will happen more slowly than you hoped.

01/30/2026

I remember when my son hit the age where he no longer wanted to tell me every little thing and how shocking and sudden it seemed. There was a time when he'd be angry because I couldn't remember his own dreams -- so connected in his mind that he even expected me to be there with him while he was dreaming! And then there was a time when he'd react to "how is your day?" with a grunt and an eye roll. It took some getting used to. Privacy is an important aspect to every relationship, including the parent-child relationship. Kids need to know that they don't owe us every secret and that we will love them even if they need or want to keep some things to themselves. This tends to be harder for parents than for kids since they're meant to outgrow us and we might hold on longer than we ought because of our own fears or need to stay involved. Letting go is a process with some give and some take but remember, we're meant to put ourselves out of the job.

01/29/2026

Listen, carnivals are great and pizza sales can be a lot of fun. But if you'd like to raise money and help the anxious children and teens in the care of your program, please reach out to me to learn about my fundraising opportunities for schools and parenting communities. Whether you're public, private, charter, or a homeschool co-op I've got you covered. Direct message me or leave a comment and let's start talking about how I can help!

01/29/2026

There are lots and lots of cognitive distortions and for this episode of the TELL ME IT WILL BE OK podcast, I'm talking about one of my favorites: catastrophizing! Man, is this one familiar to me and I'm sure to all of you! I also talk a little bit about the limits and use of cognitive behavioral therapy, which gets a bad (if sometimes deserved) rap.

01/28/2026

01/26/2026

It’s OK to put big plans to the side right now and just focus on day-to-day coping. I’m not saying to give up on the exposure plan you have carefully plotted out with your child’s therapist, but I am saying it would be OK if you said you know what we just need to cuddle on the couch right now and have pizza for dinner because my nervous system cannot handle more stress.

01/25/2026

If you have a child -- even a big one! -- that is struggling with anxiety and sleep it's going to take time and patience to figure it out. Please don't give up! Sleep is SUCH a protective factor against depression and anxiety and getting good sleep is super important. That makes it a great place to start working on anxiety.

01/24/2026

Children -- especially anxious children -- need time without directives and expectations. That's because they need the time to relax their vigilance and just BE. That means not worrying about mess, not worrying about product, not worrying about getting things wrong and just explore. Even big kids need time to just hang out without having to meet any goals. Is your child getting enough of that time? If not, what can you do to give it to them?

01/23/2026

I've been thinking about this one a lot lately. I've been thinking about how watching our children struggle can be a double whammy. First there's the pain of seeing our child unhappy. Second is our own remembered pain of being that unhappy child. Oof. But every time we revisit those feelings we have the chance to take care of ourselves through them. Acknowledging our own sadness makes it so much easier to hold our child through their sadness. And recognizing when our hard feelings have to do with our own experience helps us not to project that onto our child who is, after all, their own person with their own narrative with a whole different relationship with us than we had with our parents.