Open Book Parenting

04/25/2026

Super general developmental expectations for typical kids growing into independence. If your child seems to be not quite where you'd hoped they'd be, no worries! It may mean they need a bit of gentle pushing. If you're feeling stuck or your child SEEMS stuck, please reach out!

04/24/2026

Mr. Rogers channels some chicken soup for the soul level storytelling here to remind us that we're not doing our kids any favors when we protect them from making mistakes or save them from their troubles. Our children need the opportunity to fail and try again and they need the opportunity to not be good at something but then to learn what it takes to *become* good. Helping them reflect on the process teaches them how to replicate their efforts so that learning to be good at basketball can help them recognize that they can also learn to be good at other things like math, making an omelette, or learning to dance.

04/23/2026

Yet another reason why one-size-fits-all parenting does NOT work! You can say the EXACT same thing to two different kids and one is going to love it and the other one is going to melt into a puddle of tears. If you're not sure which one to say, just say the one that comes most naturally and then look to your child -- did it work? If yes, great! You're in sync! Congratulations! If not, that's ok, too. Now you know. Try something else. Not sure what to try? Feel like NOTHING you try is working? Think about joining one of my courses, (which have me there, coaching you along) and I'll help you figure it out. 🧡

04/22/2026

04/21/2026

We often get stuck in useless arguments with our children when we try to convince them that the way they see things is skewed. "It's not that bad," we tell them. Or, "There's nothing to be afraid of." Instead we can agree with them. No, not that it is bad or that they should be afraid, just that they feel that way. "It seems bad," we can say. And, "I understand you feel scared." Once they trust that we'll believe them, they might be open to moving to the next phase. Yes, it seems bad but we can try to fix it. Or yes, I am scared but I know how to be brave. First we step in with them, join them in their experience and then we gently step out and offer them a hand to come along with us.

04/19/2026

Not sure if it's typical childhood fears or a real problem that needs targeted attention? Scroll through my slides to learn more about how you can figure it out. And if you still have questions, head to my Parenting Pitfalls at my site ChildAnxietySupport.com.

04/18/2026

Same with kids. I know it's nerve wracking but they were built to create sail away from us so our job is to help them get ready to do it. The push-pull of parenting is one of the hardest parts of the whole gig and nothing can bring our own anxiety out more. (That's why I do the work that I do.)

04/17/2026

Dr. Schwartzman hit on something I talk about with my clients so I had to come back to it in the outro to the latest episode of TELL ME IT WILL BE OK, and that's that we often think we're supposed to be focusing on something (like math scores or clean rooms or eating vegetables) and we miss out on what we're actually supposed to be focused on (like negotiating with a child who is learning to do things they don't like or helping kids feel welcomed at dinner and not get stuck in a yuck-fest about what we're serving). I explain this a little further in this excerpt of the podcast. You can catch the whole episode at all of the usual podcast places!

04/17/2026

You see, security doesn't come from good cheer; in fact it's just the opposite. Security comes in knowing that ALL of us will be accepted and remaining connected even when things aren't going well. It is ok for our children to see us struggle or to deal with big change as long as we stay connected to them and give them space to connect with us, with all of the messy feelings that they may bring to bear.

04/16/2026

Parents are unhappy when they make accommodations for their child's anxiety. (Coming home early from bookclub because your child won't go to sleep with the other parent; keeping the door open while you shower, etc.) Parents are also unhappy when they try to stop the accommodations for their child's anxiety. (Meltdowns! Tears! Rage!) What's the answer? For the short term, whatever you need to get through the day. But for the long term, a plan and support to execute it knowing that it won't be easy but it will be worth it. That's what we do when you work with me. 🧡

04/16/2026

The thing about parenting is that we are, of course, super invested, super interested, super involved with our children but we also need to balance that with the understanding that they are going to -- and are meant to! -- grow into their own people. They will do things we don't like, they will make choices we don't care for. And not all in bad ways, just like they might just have tastes that aren't our own and that might surprise us. And ultimately? It's none of our business. This is so tricky! We have to hold them loosely in order to help them grow and what a fussy bit of balancing that is! That's what Dr. Michael Schwartzman and I are talking about in this excerpt of the latest TELL ME IT WILL BE OK podcast.